I'm Back - long self indulgent rant alert

This is the place to discuss not just allotments but all general gardening problems and queries which don't fit into the specific categories below.
(formerly allotments and tips, hints and problems)
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bonniethomas06
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I'm Back - long self indulgent rant alert

Post: #272669 bonniethomas06
Tue Mar 19, 2013 12:17 pm

Well, it's been a long time since I have been on this forum and I feel I owe a bit of an explanation. It's been a rocky year - after finally finding somewhere that I could live out my selfsufficientish dreams (field, accomodating landlady, woodburner etc) - I moved out!

This was gutting, but if I am honest, it all got too much. In the beginning, it was very much a joint enterprise, and my then partner was keen on weeding, mowing, livestock and caught up in it all.

This coincided with a drastic cut in income for us both - fine with me, as I was happy to do the selfsufficient thing, but it caused a lot of arguements - he was not really up for 'budgeting' .At the same time his enthusiasm waned and I often found myself outside strimming half an acre of nettles, while he sat inside blasting aliens to bits on his Xbox thingy even though it was a rare bright, sunny day :angryfire: . The patch just grew and grew and it became so disheartening just watching my lovely neat veg get subsumed by nettles and everything got out of control.

I can't blame it all on him - if I am honest, the life of simple pleasures began to wear a little thin, and I started to look longingly at new clothes and clean, presentable houses with envy. I discovered that it is one thing to aspire to selfsufficiency when you have the choice - but when you are struggling to pay for heating and a bottle of wine (food that isn't pork, eggs or vegetables) and your house is permenantly cold, because the hand-knitted socks aren't keeping your feet warm enough - it becomes a bit of a drag.

Anyhoo - long story short, old Partner is long gone, and new one is WONDERFUL and willing to learn how to grow veg. I have had a break from all things selfsufficient, and spent six months living with lovely new partner in his lovely, clean, dry, warm, modern house - doing normal people things like going out for dinner and to the cinema.

BUT - this year, as the buds started to swell on the trees and I can feel the ground trembling with the vibration of new life, IT CAME BACK! Suddenly, I was desperate for the smell of tomato leaves on my fingers and the sight of seedlings breaking through the soil. So I put my name down for an allotment - and two weeks later, one came up! It is in quite good condition - not too overgrown. We have a shed in mind and are going to make some raised beds to make it more manageable. The plot is really well organised, with a lovely 'clubhouse' that even has a log burner and loos!

I still make bread by hand, I still knit, and I still crave a cottage with a manageable garden. Maybe even a couple of chooks again one day. I still would never be a rampant consumer ever again and still buy all my clothes in charity shops. I have never been much of a one for balance, but hopefully this time I will get it right!

If you are still awake, thanks for reading :flower:
"A pretty face is fine, but what a farmer needs is a woman who can carry a pig under each arm"

My blog...

http://www.theparttimesmallholder.blogspot.com

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Annemieke
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Re: I'm Back - long self indulgent rant alert

Post: #272674 Annemieke
Tue Mar 19, 2013 2:15 pm

Interesting stuff Bonnie, and yes, I enjoyed reading it. Sometimes a compromise (and a new partner) is best.
Love, Annemieke: 3 times married, 3rd time lucky!
:love5:
Grow no evil, cook no evil, eat no evil!
And if you are interested in food and/or health, have a look at my website:
http://ThoughtforFood-aw.blogspot.com.
Love, Annemieke

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JuzaMum
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Re: I'm Back - long self indulgent rant alert

Post: #272681 JuzaMum
Tue Mar 19, 2013 2:30 pm

Yes - nothing wrong with compromise. I really admire those who can do the self sufficient lifestyle but I do like my mod cons (well some of them). Enjoy life - it sounds like it is good now :)

best wishes

JuzaMum
Happiness isn't having what you want but wanting what you have.

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boboff
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Re: I'm Back - long self indulgent rant alert

Post: #272685 boboff
Tue Mar 19, 2013 3:41 pm

That is lovely news, I am so glad things have worked out for you.

My little annoyance is Bubble Whitch Saga on Facebook, the OH plays that when I come in muddy!
Millymollymandy wrote:Bloody smilies, always being used. I hate them and they should be banned.
No I won't use a smiley because I've decided to turn into Boboff, as he's turned all nice all of a sudden. Grumble grumble.

http://boboffs.blogspot.co.uk/

oldjerry
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Re: I'm Back - long self indulgent rant alert

Post: #272688 oldjerry
Tue Mar 19, 2013 8:28 pm

Welcome back Bonnie,pleased to hear things are working out.Recent times have shown me how any doing the self reliance thing with acres is one thing,doing it in an urban situation is far more challenging and (am I making a virtue out of a necessity?) a lot more rewarding.

Anyhow,it'll be good to see you posting again.........if you're not too loved up!

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Mrs Moustoir
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Re: I'm Back - long self indulgent rant alert

Post: #272690 Mrs Moustoir
Tue Mar 19, 2013 8:37 pm

Welcome back Bonnie - nice to see you posting again :iconbiggrin:

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Thurston Garden
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Re: I'm Back - long self indulgent rant alert

Post: #272696 Thurston Garden
Tue Mar 19, 2013 10:32 pm

Glad things have worked out for the better in the end Bonnie! My situation was very similar except mine was not playing on an xbox but playing with other humans. :angryfire: But you got a new man and I got a straw hoose :cheers:

My fingers too will smell of tomato leaves this year and like you I can't wait!
Thurston Garden.

http://www.thurstongarden.wordpress.com
Greenbelt is a Tory Policy and the Labour Party intends to build on it. (John Prescott)

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bonniethomas06
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Re: I'm Back - long self indulgent rant alert

Post: #272706 bonniethomas06
Wed Mar 20, 2013 5:20 pm

Oh no TG, that's probably more annoying in fairness! And I am sure she would rue the day if she saw your lovely shiny new house :iconbiggrin:
"A pretty face is fine, but what a farmer needs is a woman who can carry a pig under each arm"

My blog...

http://www.theparttimesmallholder.blogspot.com

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dustydave
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Re: I'm Back - long self indulgent rant alert

Post: #272707 dustydave
Wed Mar 20, 2013 6:27 pm

It’s only fun if you don’t have to do it – otherwise it is just another job.

Pleased that you are feeling the vibration; follow that thread and you’ll realise that it is the sideways glance at the hidden things, the feeling for things, the childish excitement, all these are the truth in life.

That is enough of a hint; for to write about it is not to know it… :lol:

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Millymollymandy
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Re: I'm Back - long self indulgent rant alert

Post: #272708 Millymollymandy
Wed Mar 20, 2013 6:50 pm

I'm glad everything worked out for you in the end, Bonnie. I wondered what happened with the floristry business.

So pleased that your Ishness has come back and an allotment sounds like a perfect compromise. Good luck with it! :flower:
boboff wrote:Oh and just for MMM, :hugish: (thanks)


http://chateaumoorhen.blogspot.com/

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Helsbells
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Re: I'm Back - long self indulgent rant alert

Post: #272720 Helsbells
Wed Mar 20, 2013 11:41 pm

Welcome back, sometimes you need to have time away to realise what you really want, glad you are happy now x

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bonniethomas06
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Re: I'm Back - long self indulgent rant alert

Post: #272731 bonniethomas06
Thu Mar 21, 2013 10:23 am

Thanks all - MMM I am doing odd weddings for friends and help out at a local forist a few times a month, so still learning and trying to build a portfolio. I don't ever think it is going to make me big bucks and at the moment I can't afford to give up my dull office job to give it a fair go, but figure building the skills for the future is a good place to start.
"A pretty face is fine, but what a farmer needs is a woman who can carry a pig under each arm"

My blog...

http://www.theparttimesmallholder.blogspot.com

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Flo
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Re: I'm Back - long self indulgent rant alert

Post: #272756 Flo
Fri Mar 22, 2013 9:12 am

Building a little pot of money to give you a fall back when you come to try again is also a good idea.

I'm a farmer's daughter and know that self sufficiency requires all the family to be onside. Plus support from friends and neighbours at times.

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boboff
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Re: I'm Back - long self indulgent rant alert

Post: #272760 boboff
Fri Mar 22, 2013 10:02 am

Flo has that spot on!

Trouble I am more management, so my aspirations for self sufficiency require workers, which aren't keen!

Still it will just take longer!
Millymollymandy wrote:Bloody smilies, always being used. I hate them and they should be banned.
No I won't use a smiley because I've decided to turn into Boboff, as he's turned all nice all of a sudden. Grumble grumble.

http://boboffs.blogspot.co.uk/


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