Roasted red pepper, red onion and Tomato soup recipe;

[oldfella]

Chop 4 red onions, 3 red peppers and 6 cherry tomatoes.
Wash blood from vegetables and bandage finger while wondering if it'll ever grow back properly
Place in pan and coat with oil and basil.Cook at gas mark 6 for 30-35 minutes, turning occasionally.
Remove battery from smoke alarm.
Place vegetables in blender, mangle heartily while slowly adding oil from pan and just enough water so that the world's cheapest blender deigns to have an effect.
Season with salt, pepper and paprika.

Spill half on floor trying to get the kitchen door open while holding hot bowl and cup of tea.

[SusieGee]

oh dear, bad day in the kitchen oldfella!

[oldjerry]

OF , tomorrow, will follow your recipe to the letter ( incidently,Elizabeth David eat your heart out) as my 14 yr old Patterdale loves roast peppers.

[The Riff-Raff Element]

Dangerous stuff, soup.

[oldjerry]

Something else that comes to mind,apart from my mistaking Elizabeth David for Jane Grigson and thus while trying to sound cool,coming over as a pillock......(red wine and pomposity,a terrible mix)

Anyhow,the world would be a more 'fun place' if men of a certain age were only allowed to use hand-held blenders.These wonderful bits of technology have enabled me to hone my food spillage skills to a point where the children spend more time searching for stains in inaccesible corners than they do staring at a computer...

Classic move is to approach any gentleman with his back to you,and a hand held Braun whirring away in a pan,with the inquiry:'' Mmmmmm, What's cooking?.. The Questioner is then advised to duck,or open an umbrella.

[Skippy]

Ater eating and making all the right hmmmmm this is nice noises don't forget to say to the other half "well as I've cooked and served it it only seems right that you do the washing up" whilist smiling sweetly of course


Pete

[oldfella]

Asparagus soup.

Irritably boil the asparagus you forgot you bought until it no longer resembles a bundle of twigs.
Remove asparagus from pan and transfer to blender.
Swear loudly as you realise 9.99 was probably not enough to pay for a blender.
Once blender starts working slowly add the water the asparagus was cooked in until desired consistency is achieved.
Angrily throw what you hope are a few almonds on top.
Burn finger.

Swear again. Make a sandwich," Recipe to follow" and tip soup into bin, if you won't eat it, why would the animals.

Sandwich Recipe. Put filling between two slices of Bread

[becks77]

You crack me up Old fella, thanks for the giggle

[yvette]

As someone who has just taken hours and hours to sew together some simple knitted slippers because she sewed almost every seam wrong and had to unpick it - I can identify! Thanks for the laugh, I needed it.
Reminds me of when my son was little and I would be trying to knit something, only to be distracted by said son needing help with lego or to show me a beetle or to clear up a model train wreck or feed him. My knitting would go something like
knit one
purl two
knit one
drop two
swear six
throw knitting out of window.....