101 family friendly cracker jokes

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red
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101 family friendly cracker jokes

Post: #134258 red
Sun Dec 14, 2008 5:24 pm

we are making homemade crackers this year. I need some jokes suitable for all the family... pleae help...

so far have

1. what does Father Christmas use to weed the garden? :his hoe hoe hoe
2. what's brown and sneaks around the kitchen? :mince spies
3. what did one snowman say to the other snowman?: can you smell carrot?
Red

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Re: 101 family friendly cracker jokes

Post: #134266 pumpy
Sun Dec 14, 2008 6:15 pm

Santa(looking out of the window) said to mrs. claus, "it looks like rain,dear".
it's either one or the other, or neither of the two.

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Re: 101 family friendly cracker jokes

Post: #134411 sleepyowl
Tue Dec 16, 2008 9:18 am

I think you'll find most people will draw blanks on this, by the age of 12 most of my jokes were smutty
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Re: 101 family friendly cracker jokes

Post: #134441 Penny Lane
Tue Dec 16, 2008 1:00 pm

5. What do monkeys sing at Christmas?

'Jungle Bells'!

6. Did Rudolph go to school?

No he was 'elf'-taught!

7. What do snowmen wear on their heads?

Snow caps!

(Red - how do you make crackers? Do you have a link? :mrgreen: )
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Re: 101 family friendly cracker jokes

Post: #134450 red
Tue Dec 16, 2008 2:18 pm

thanks for the ones so far

Penny - I'll do some instructions in a bit - meanwhile save toilet roll inners!!
Red

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Re: 101 family friendly cracker jokes

Post: #135035 Andy Hamilton
Sun Dec 21, 2008 4:23 pm

Little Girl "Daddy why can't I have a fawn for Christmas"
Dad "Well it's a little Dear"
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Re: 101 family friendly cracker jokes

Post: #135107 earthmotherwithin
Mon Dec 22, 2008 7:17 am

Why did the banana go to the doctor?

He wasn't peeling well!
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Re: 101 family friendly cracker jokes

Post: #135135 Milims
Mon Dec 22, 2008 11:11 am

What do you call a 3 legged donkey?
A Wonkey!

What do you call a 3 legged donkey with an eye twitch?
A Winkey wonkey!

What do you call a 3 legged donkey with an eye twitch and bad wind?
A stinky winkey wonkey!
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Re: 101 family friendly cracker jokes

Post: #135454 JulieSherris
Fri Dec 26, 2008 7:48 am

Bit late, because you will have already done your crackers, but for next year....

Man goes into a shop to buy a new raincoat....

Shopkeeper: Sorry, I only sell T-Shirts, you'll have to go to Rudolph's place along the road, he specialises in outer wear...
Customer: Oh, you mean the Russian guy?
Shopkeeper: Yeah, everyone knows Rudolph the Red knows rain gear.....
The more people I meet, the more I like my garden :wink:

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Re: 101 family friendly cracker jokes

Post: #173881 Rosendula
Sat Oct 24, 2009 9:42 am

OK, it took me a year to come up with these, but better late than never.... and perhaps in time for this year's crackers?

Why did the wheel stop rolling?
Because it was tyred

Why did the wheel lay down?
Because it was wheely tyred

Why did the wheel go to the doctor's?
Because it wasn't wheeling very well.
Rosey xx

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Re: 101 family friendly cracker jokes

Post: #173884 MuddyWitch
Sat Oct 24, 2009 10:21 am

What do Hogworts call their annual talent contest?

The hex Factor

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Re: 101 family friendly cracker jokes

Post: #173941 pumpy
Sat Oct 24, 2009 5:12 pm

So, 12 months down the road............ Frank Carson was given some crepe paper, which was crushed round the outside of a toilet-roll inner tube & said (altogether now!)....... "that's a cracker!" !!!!! :iconbiggrin:
it's either one or the other, or neither of the two.

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Re: 101 family friendly cracker jokes

Post: #173951 red
Sat Oct 24, 2009 5:40 pm

dear oh dear :icon_smile:
Red

I like like minded people... a bit like minded anyway.. well people with bits of their minds that are like the bits of my mind that I like...

my website: colour it green

etsy shop

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Re: 101 family friendly cracker jokes

Post: #174089 MuddyWitch
Sun Oct 25, 2009 7:27 pm

Ok, Pumpy's is the most cringworthy so far! :lol: :lol: :lol:

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Re: 101 family friendly cracker jokes

Post: #174120 pumpy
Sun Oct 25, 2009 10:55 pm

:wave: :wave: :wave: :iconbiggrin:
it's either one or the other, or neither of the two.


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