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Having babies

Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2012 9:47 pm
by Pumpkin&Piglet
I have two children. My eldest is nearly 4 and my youngest is 1

I love having babies and am thinking of having another.

I know it's up to me (and mu husband!) but I'm looking for opinions/thoughts that will broaden my outlook.

I like the idea of being pregnant and the fuss from everyone and I love having a baby growing in me and thinking about it and how I'm protecting it with my body but i do get very very tired and feel quite poo!

I'm worried another pregnancy will make life too hard. I will feel crappy all the time, not enjoy my current children and they won't have the best of me as I'll be feeling horrible. Life is pretty easy at the moment, it's taken a while but we've got a balance, we're used to it. Why upset things?

But having children is so natural and I feel like it's 'my thing.' I have lots of hobbies, I decorate cakes, paint, hula hoop, and of course growing/jam making/home brewing but I love having babies, maybe this should come first in my 20s and 30s as this is the time to be doing it? Or maybe I could just be normal about having children and be happy with those I already have in between pregnancies?

I can't wait to give birth again, in a pool in my front room with my husband a good few feet away (I love him and want him there but he's useless!)

Maybe I ought to just wait another year. Fair enough if no one else cares too much about my life but any thoughts might help me to see things in a different light!

Re: Having babies

Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2012 10:04 pm
by chickenchargrill
I'd think about how old your youngest will be when the next one could be born. Having 3 children is lovely!! It's hard work, but there's a decent age gap between my elder two and my youngest (Mine are 8, 6 and 20 months) so the girls are old enough to entertain the boy to give me a bit of a break! They were both super easy compared to this little bundle of trouble! He's clever, too clever if you ask me, and a toddler who's too clever is a whole heap of trouble. Just goes to show you never can be a parenting expert!

Anyhoo, totally up to you. But I say YAY to another, just wait a wee while til trying.

Re: Having babies

Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2012 10:58 pm
by Pumpkin&Piglet
Thank you. Having another baby is not up for discussion - it's happening! :iconbiggrin:

I'm not sure now is the right time but I do want it now. From having two I think I can cope with the babies, it's looking after my current two while pregnant. I always thought I had an easy time of it while i was pregnant compared to most women but I'm wondering if others did feel quite as crappy as me in the first three months!

Re: Having babies

Posted: Sun Jul 01, 2012 7:52 am
by old tree man
Jane and i had seven children and we would'nt change that for the world, it has been very hard work over the years not just financialy but physically jane is a fantastic mother, wife and now grandmother to our sixteen grand children, but it has taken its toll, jane is a natural mother but her body has sufferd she has osteo and rhumatoid arthiritis if this has had anything to do with child birth we do not know but as we are now very very close to our sixies we at times struggle to get around but our children and grandchildren are supportive and loving, would we have done anything different is the easy answer jane loves children so what i am trying to say is that it really dosent matter how many childen you want as long as you spread the love and have the strenght to care for them all of janes pregnancies were different nothing is ever the same but the end product was a beautiful baby that you both made and will love forever :grouphug: just one more thing the family get togethers are wonderful :flower:

Re: Having babies

Posted: Sun Jul 01, 2012 11:58 am
by Pumpkin&Piglet
Aw that's fantastic. Congratulations to you on all your children and grandchildren. We can't wait to have a large family with fun gatherings :icon_smile:

Re: Having babies

Posted: Sun Jul 01, 2012 12:52 pm
by demi
I also have 2 kids. The eldest is nearly 5 and the youngest is just comming up for his first birthday! :)

I also want possible have more in the future, but i agree its better to wait a while inbetween them.

Our friends round the corner have 20 month old twin girls and a 4 month old baby girl. She has taking fertility pills to make her ovulate with the twins as they had been trying for years with a few miscarridges, and she has been for tests which revealed she wasnt ovulating. After the twins were born they weren't using contraception as she believed she couldn't get pregnant naturally, but hay, she did!

The last time we were round at their house she was crying because she was so stressed. The twins are constantly crying 'mummy, mummy, mummy', plus she's working full time again now as a maths teacher, as he husband cannot find a permanant job and she needs to support them all. As soon as she steps in the door from work she is pounced on by the kids demanding her attention. And she was having problems breastfeeding as she had to go back to work, so shes triying to express milk and spend more time feeding the baby, but the twins are jealous for her attention and hit the baby regurlarly.

I really want to have more kids, but i see how stress she is having them all so close together, i'd defonetly going to wait a while beofre the next one.

But its up to you, if you think you can manage it and it will make you happy then go for it.

Re: Having babies

Posted: Sun Jul 01, 2012 7:46 pm
by fifi folle
I am 6 months pregnant with our second child, our son is 11 months old, I'm coping with pregnancy with a small baby just but it is exhausting. Your kids are older though and from what my friend has said going from two children to three is much easier than the transition from one to two! Her children are 5, 2.5 and 1 and she works full time, does attachment parenting, cloth nappies, BFing etc etc so it is manageable, but she has good support from family.

I have to say I am rubbish at pregnancy though, sick for months, then anaemia kicks in, but feeling the little one kicking and moving and planning my HBAC are fab! I don't think there's ever a "right" time to have another child, in our case we had problems conceiving our son (and staying pregnant) and assumed it would be the same again, especially as I was BFing every 2 hrs but this little one is obviously meant to be! I kind of think that babies will come when the time is right, for example I didn't stay pregnant for more than 6 weeks (4 times) until we moved house when we were ttc first time round.

Good luck, hope to hear lovely news soon!

Re: Having babies

Posted: Mon Jul 02, 2012 7:54 am
by boboff
Wife decided that two was enough, it played havoc with her body, and made her seriously few up after number two.
10 years on an I am glad now as they are getting older and less work, different, more fun.
It's nice to think that in another ten years they will be 20 and 22, and we as parents who still show all the signs of loving each other, will have a life post kids to look forward too.
I think this is important as well.
But in no way should anyone have any sway over what you do, do what makes you happy, and I am sure you will cope fine.

Re: Having babies

Posted: Mon Jul 02, 2012 8:21 am
by JuzaMum
Hi Pumpkin and Piglet
My little children are the same age as your two and my big ones are 16 and 18. The big ones were 3 and 5 when I met my husband, I decided that I wouldn't have more children for many sensible practical reasons but my heart didn't agree with my head! Now I look at my little ones and part of me wonders why I waited so long. Our house isn't big enough, I never have any time to myself but the big ones love the small ones and vice versa. I certainly found pregnancy harder as an older mother.
More children is a decision only you can make and even then it is the hands of fate.

Re: Having babies

Posted: Mon Sep 17, 2012 11:20 am
by welshmum
ialways said i wasnt bothered about having children, Once the first arrived I was addicted. I knew it would be either 2 or 4 so when the third child was conceived we knew there would be a fourth. My hubby is nearly 10 yeas older than me so we also agreed any children we had would be close together and we would stop before the 40th birthday for hubby. We wanted to be fit enough to enjoy all the children as babies and when they are older. We are now expecting number 5, eldest will be 8 when the babe rrives. So we do have a very close gap and the kids love plating together, which is fab. It does get very hard work at time but those little moments make up for it. If you wait for the perfect time I dont think it will ever happen.

Re: Having babies

Posted: Wed Oct 03, 2012 11:51 am
by mrsflibble
I was chatting with a pregnant mum of three at soph's gym last week...she thinks we should have evolved to grow one hand per extra child lol.

Re: Having babies

Posted: Wed Oct 03, 2012 4:18 pm
by marshlander
Or kept a prehensile tail!

Re: Having babies

Posted: Mon Oct 08, 2012 4:50 pm
by harĂ°fiskur
when you have three children is important to get the chance to spend one to one time with each so that none of them feels left out. It is also great to have a few if you like the noise!