Help! 5 year old started pooing in her pants!

[demi]

My 5 year old daughter was very constipated last Thursday night which hurt her bum and now she's freaking out when she poo's on the toilet. She is holding it in until she cant hold it anymore and ends up pooing in her pants then coming to tell me after, how lovely for me!. She's been having stomach cramps too because she's holding it in. I put her on lots of fruit and veg and she's got squishy poo now and i don't think it is hurting her anymore but she's still scared to go on the toilet. She didn't have a problem before this is defiantly a result of the constipation giving her a soar bum and tummy. She's off school just now till its sorted out but iv been reading online lots of kids have this problem and seems to take them years to 'grow out' of! Im having to wash and change her multiple times a day, plus iv got my toddler to sort out too and i'm really fearing it's going to last for ages, all this poo to clean up forever!
I'v made her a sticker chart this morning like a did when i was toilet training her when she was 2 but we've yet to have success with it. Hopefully it will start to work. Anyone got any advice?

[safronsue]

i sympathise with you demi, i remember feeling the poo and puke phases. the only thing that struck me is make sure not to be rewarding her unconsciously by making a big deal out of it. you know, 5 year old just want more time with mum or dad and just be aware of that and be careful not to make too big a deal of the situation. and just try to remember it is just a phase to get through and probs by next week it'll be sorted out. you did good by sorting out her diet and now she needs to remember that pooing doesn't normally hurt. good luck.

[demi]

Yes and i'm worried thats why she'd continuing to do it. Because when she does i have to physically stop what im doing to strip her down and put her in the bath she's liking the attention from it. But i don't know what else to do? She's too old for all this now.

[demi]

The sticker chart has failed to work today. No stickers and iv had to change her 3 times. Even bribes of ice cream didn't work.

[Mithril2]

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[demi]

Iv not been out with her because of it, she's been off school this week. I think she is holding it in because she's scared it's going to be soar to poo and then she ends up soiling herself. Sometimes its a lot other times its just a wee bit. Her poo is all squishy now because of all the fruit smoothies iv been giving her for the constipation, but she still cries on the toilet and refuses to do anything.

[safronsue]

what about trying the approach of, shame we can't go to ..............today because of your problem. or cold hosing her down in the garden. well maybe not, but you must be tempted!

[Mithril2]

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[demi]

I think putting her in pull ups or whatever would be counter productive.

She hasn't pood at all today. Iv just been taking her to the toilet at every opportunity like i did when i was potty training her, and i keep asking her if she needs to go. She seems excited to get a sticker and she's talking about it but still nothing in the toilet. But at least today iv not had to clean up any shit! Well.....apart from off the baby.

[marshlander]

Lucky for me I've no first hand expeerience of this. From what I've read it seams a combination of a very high fibre diet and persevering with putting little un on the loo repeatedly whether they like it or not seems to help other mums with the same problem http://www.circleofmoms.com/moms-with-s ... l-542174#_

[The Riff-Raff Element]

I dislike the "well you're behaving like a baby, so we'll have to treat you like a baby" approach, but you can't spend your life clearing up poo, so perhaps a return to pull-ups for a short while with the above reasoning might help. Most five-year-olds seem fixated by the notion of being all grown up, so it might bear fruit. If she lays an egg in one, deal with it as quietly as possible and then try having some one-on-one time an hour or so later when the association is broken. Is she happy at school? I've heard of kiddies pulling all kind of stuff to get out of going.

[Uller]

I have no kids therefore no experience, so I might be talking a load of rubbish.

But, if she is aware of what she is doing and is scared that it might hurt, is it worth trying to get her to understand that she is already doing the bit that would hurt - the having a poo bit. If it isn't hurting her to go in her pants, it won't hurt her to go in the loo.

I suspect this is far easier in theory than in practice, but worth a shot?

[demi]

Yes iv been trying to reason with her if its not soar to go in her pants then it wont be soar to go on the toilet. But she's still scared to do it, she starts screaming and crying, it's not nice to deal with. That's been over 2 days now and she's not done anything and i know even if she's getting lots of fruit the longer she keeps it in the more water gets absorbed back through the bowel and the poo becomes dryer and harder and its going to hurt her again.
I'v tried sticking a cotton bud with vasoline up her bum to make her poo ( read it on the net ) but it didn't work and just made her scream more.
I'm trying to encourage her by competing with her brother for who can get the most poo's. Anthony has 1 sticker, Katya 0. She likes the sticker chart but still nothing.

At school sometimes she says she doesn't want to go and she's had to re-learn Macedonian because we were previously in the UK for 2 years, but she speaks well now in Macedonian and the teachers always say she's very well behaved and is joining in with the class and playing with the other kids. Maybe she's doing it more for attention now, I don't know, or she's genuinely developed a fear of the toilet.

[demi]

Just had success in the toilet! She got her first sticker, a pink one of course because she is a princess and princesses always have pink! And my husband is away out with her now in the garden building a snowman as a reward. And iv got bread and butter pudding baking in the wood oven for when they get back in. Hopefully now she'll realize it's not that soar and she'll get back to normal, fingers crossed!

[boboff]

Just a thought.

Have you mentioned that you post it on a Public forum everytime she soils herself?

That would definately sort my daughter out, you could go further say and pots it as a status on facebook, ala Bridget Jones Diary, CIgs 2, alcohol 3, pooed pants 1!

I jest of course, I hope she gets over it soon.

Regards

Rob