Selfsufficientish.com

Dear Samantha,

I have just heard on the TV that children are the main transmission vector for flu and that they are, in effect, killing our older citizens. The proposed answer is to vaccinate all children up to the age of 17 every year at an annual cost of £100,000,000.
What I want to know is whether boiling a child for twenty minutes would kill the flu virus.

Yours sincerely,

Concerned of Neasden.

Mike, I know you think not a great deal of some of what I spout,but I heard this,I and I wanted to start a thread, so hats off to you.

I'm mortified, OJ! Truthfully, I have nothing but respect for your opinions

But never mind that, Samantha - answer the question.

Mike

Dear Mike

Boiling the Chief Medical Officer might prove cheaper and probably just as effective.

Yours
Samantha

He's always got up my nose.


Disgusted of Tenbury Wells.

Dear Disgusted

You should see a Rhinologist about that.

Yours too
Samantha

Dear C of N

With regard to your recent heat treatment inquiry, boiling is not appropriate for children, you are more than likely to hurt them.

With regard to preventative vacination, I believe it has already been established by the Badgers that sectional culling is more cost effective.

The economics still remain though that 2000 lives a year could be saved in the Elderly population, over a 10 year period that 20,000 OAP's, each costy on average £220 a week, with some as high as £1,000 if they are highly dependant on state care, so in fact, the true cost of this is not just the 100 million, but you have to factor in the additonal welfare costs this avenue will bring, which in the context of the next two parliaments will be nearer £10,000,000,000. ( or 1/8 of a Bank Bailout)

As you can see this probably emphasises quite nicely the need for compulsory euthanasia of all those over 68, so please make good use of your remianing few days on this planet, and seeing as you brought up the idea, I assume you have no objection to it.

SIncerely

Roger D'Bastard
Head of Daily Mail Bigot News.

Loving this, more please!! pbf.

Dear Samantha,

Because of the economic mess we inherited,and increased poaching,rhinologists have become extinct,still I'm sure Uncle Vince will come up with a plan.
How's things in Islington? Can't be much fun in this heat,and even more foreigners than usual!! lol!!!

Pop over and see us next time RyanAir are doing a ' 50p fly to anywhere within 200 miles of where you want to go ' deal.

Caio!!

Becci from Benidorm.

Dear Roger d'B

I cannot fault your logic and therefore, reluctantly, must agree that your compulsory program of population reduction appears to address part of the problem. I still have a while to go before I reach the qualification age. But that does not address the fact that our medical authorities, in their wisdom, have identified children as the little buggers who give everyone else flu. I've always been one for attacking a problem at its source rather than masking its effects. I can think of at least a dozen alternative and handy things to do with £100,000,000 a year, such as free beer for over 50s.

Is it the boiling process which concerns you? If so, I will bend my decrepit brain cells towards some other form of ensuring that small humans are discouraged from rampaging around the country liberally dispensing microbes to unsuspecting adults. It wasn't like this when I was a youth. We used to laugh in the face of smallpox, we did.

Concerned of Neasden.

Dear Concerned
I'm afraid you must have displaced your marbles. Spending £100,000,000 on beer for the over-50s will only lead to them thinking they are devastatingly attractive to the under 20s, which could well result (depending how far they've availed themselves of the beer) in a further increase in the snot magnets you are seeking to eradicate. However, giving the aforementioned sum to a prominent agony aunt would enable her to come up with a more suitable plan.

Samantha

Becci, bugger Ryanair, I'm flying first class. I've won the lottery!

I um oldfelas gwanduthgetr an I donut watted bee boilel, cos it hirts, and my Dad wil cum an hit you wif a big brick, so ther.