Guilt

Another section by popular demand. If you want to talk about anything else that grows that is not livestock, herbs, fruit or vegetables here it goes.
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MKG
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Guilt

Post: #229436 MKG
Thu Apr 21, 2011 12:55 pm

I'm filling in the old pond. I've dug a new one on the other side of the garden. It's a lot smaller, but it looks very welcoming. But oh no - what do I get? I get a couple of dozen frogs on the borders of the old pond just sitting there and looking at me. Boy, can a frog LOOK at you. I feel terrible. I'm having nightmares. What should I do? I've considered eating them, but that would make me feel worse. I caught 'em, took 'em over to the new pond and explained the advantages of a new start in life. But no - they want me to feel guilty. And it works.

Are there any frog psychologists here? By that, of course, I don't mean French - no, the real amphibian thing. I need help!!

Mike
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Re: Guilt

Post: #229477 Mrs H
Thu Apr 21, 2011 9:37 pm

Awww poor froggies!!! Lol I'm sure they'll get over it and soon enjoy there new home!! Spoken by a true frog expert.......not!! Xx

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Re: Guilt

Post: #229482 baldybloke
Thu Apr 21, 2011 10:03 pm

If they go on hunger strike then you will be plagued with slugs.
Has anyone seen the plot, I seem to have lost mine?

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Re: Guilt

Post: #229484 boboff
Fri Apr 22, 2011 6:17 am

You could go to the Library and get out a load of appropriate literature on Change, and moving home, and coping with Infantacide, but I bet you the frogs will tell you that they have "readit"
Millymollymandy wrote:Bloody smilies, always being used. I hate them and they should be banned.
No I won't use a smiley because I've decided to turn into Boboff, as he's turned all nice all of a sudden. Grumble grumble.

http://boboffs.blogspot.co.uk/

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Re: Guilt

Post: #229486 JulieSherris
Fri Apr 22, 2011 6:54 am

This is quite a coincidence Mike!!

I have a friend (Patti) who works in a bank not far from you & she was telling me last night that a young frog went to see her for a loan to fix up his new pad after being evicted from his old place.

When she asked him if he had any collateral, he handed her a small white elephant.

"This is a very unusual form of collateral." said Patricia. "I'll have to check with our bank manager to see if it's ok."

Patricia goes to the Manager and says, "There's a frog named Kermit Jagger out there who want's a home loan and this white elephant is all he is offering for collateral. What should I do?"

The bank manager takes the small white elephant and after carefully examining it hands it back to Patricia and says,

"It's a nick-knack Patti Black, give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

Sorry, sorry!! :lol:
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Re: Guilt

Post: #229494 Green Aura
Fri Apr 22, 2011 8:17 am

Get your coat Sherris! You made me spit my coffee out :lol: :lol: :lol:

This might help you get a jump start on your problem, Mike


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nFRPT__blxU

:shock: :lol:
Maggie

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Re: Guilt

Post: #229500 Mrs H
Fri Apr 22, 2011 8:40 am

You guys r hilarious!!! I can always be sure of a laugh when I log on here!! Xxx

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Re: Guilt

Post: #229503 JulieSherris
Fri Apr 22, 2011 9:15 am

Haha, I'm sure it's not nice to make light of Mike's problems.... but it's funny, so why stop?? :lol: :lol:

A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."
He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will tell everyone how smart and brave you are and how you are my hero" The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will be your loving companion for an entire week." The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.

The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for a year and do ANYTHING you want." Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a year and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"

The man said, "Look, I'm a computer programmer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool."

Geddit, Geddit?? :oops:
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Re: Guilt

Post: #229507 MKG
Fri Apr 22, 2011 9:52 am

No frogs or tadpoles were harmed in the making of this episode.

The producers would like it to be known that this story, whilst it contains factual elements, is designed as an entertainment and not as a historical documentary.

Well - it worked for "The Tudors"!

Anyway, I've just been up there and recited Julie's joke within frog earshot. Within two minutes, there was a line of frogs crossing the lawn towards the new pond. The first one across was carrying a white flag. Thanks Julie - I knew I could count on you :iconbiggrin:

Mike
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JulieSherris
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Re: Guilt

Post: #229510 JulieSherris
Fri Apr 22, 2011 10:25 am

It was toadily my pleasure, Mike! :lol:

I had the book of The Tudors - Reddit! :lol:

I nearly dated a frog once, against my wishes though - he jumped to the wrong conclusion! :lol:

What do baby frogs play at school break? Jumping jacks and leapfrog! :lol:

OK, I'll stop now....... :roll:
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JulieSherris
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Re: Guilt

Post: #229511 JulieSherris
Fri Apr 22, 2011 10:31 am

Ooo... there is one more joke regarding frogs in the throat & toads in the hole - but as this is a family forum, I will refrain..... :lol:
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Re: Guilt

Post: #229621 Mrs H
Fri Apr 22, 2011 8:53 pm

Julie don't stop, ur crap jokes r killin me!! And Mike now I hav a visual image of ur little kermits marching across the garden with there stuff on there backs!! Lol ;) xx

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MKG
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Re: Guilt

Post: #232293 MKG
Wed May 18, 2011 2:09 am

OK - I dug the hole. I explained, several times, to the frogs. They didn't seem to take too much notice of me, apart from the protest march.

But today (oh - yesterday now), the frogs' new home was completed. Finally, I got a liner. The local pond shop had every single proprietary size in stock EXCEPT (wouldn't you know it?) the one I needed. However, that was yesterday - no, two days ago now - but 24 hours later (so is that yesterday?) they rang up to say they'd got it.

The underlay is in. The liner is in. The water is in :cheers:. I went to look at it after a couple of glasses of freezer bottom wine, but it was dark and I was faced with a deep black murky pool. I think that's a good sign.

Frogopolis is complete. I felt I had to tell you all that.

Mike

@GA - you know, I've watched that Freudian frog a few times now, in a puzzled manner. Only tonight did it dawn on me to put the bloody headphones on. I really wish I hadn't :lol:
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Re: Guilt

Post: #232308 Green Aura
Wed May 18, 2011 9:26 am

MKG wrote:@GA - you know, I've watched that Freudian frog a few times now, in a puzzled manner. Only tonight did it dawn on me to put the bloody headphones on. I really wish I hadn't :lol:


:lol: :lol: :lol:
Maggie

Never doubt that you can change history. You already have. Marge Piercy

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage. Anais Nin

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MKG
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Re: Guilt

Post: #232329 MKG
Wed May 18, 2011 11:48 am

Wildlife moves fast, doesn't it? The pond has been filled for less than 24 hours. Already, it has a small population of water beetles.

Mike
The secret of life is to aim below the head (With thanks to MMM)


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