What is your own personal hell

[Andy Hamilton]

Whilst removing the hundreds of snails off my allotment yesterday I started to think what if they were bigger and what if as soon as you cut them in half they grew into two. - would this be hell?

Then my mind wandered and I thought of what my own personal allotment hell might consist of, I think to be truley horific it has to be something that could really happen. I thought that if it was sunny weather every time I walked there and as soon as I got there gail force winds and hail started. Also the alltoment next to me being empty could easily become overun with weeds that could grow and grow setting seed in mine.

Couch root could be everywhere that I dig and in the places that it was not bindweed would be there instead. Every potato could end up gettting blight. Greenfly coudl infest all my other plants....

Ahhh allotment hell.

[wulf]

Whilst removing the hundreds of snails off my allotment yesterday I started to think what if they were bigger and what if as soon as you cut them in half they grew into two. - would this be hell?

You'd have to pray for the strength of Hercules then, armed with a sharp knife and a zippo lighter, return to do battle with your foe (cf. Hydra).

Wulf

[Andy Hamilton]

Ahhh they might even come back from the dead too.

[albert onglebod]

I reckon blackberry brambles are a right pain.
I cleared my veg plot of head high brambles last year and my neighbours garden still has them(she is 96 so not her fault) .They will of course droop over into ours throughout the year and I have to chop them off whenever they threaten. Added to this,blackberry seedlings sprout up at the least sign of rain so I carry a pair of scissors in my garden coat.
We arent going away this year but I dread going away next year and coming back to find blackberry invasions and no veg plot.

[shiney]

My personal hell is slugs, snails and cats!

BUT...we got a green bin yesterday and I am sooo happy with it. I put all my shredded paper in it, along with stuff I can't get in the composter and cardboard. It's also a new home for my snails and slugs. I have decided that if I keep them in the bin, they'll eat the paper and anything composty until 'collection' time every two weeks. I'll knock 'em off the inside of the lid and they can go to compost heaven! Pity I can't do the same with the cats.

My other hell is lack of space for the million seedlings I have hatching at the moment. I am going to have to be very inventive with my growing spaces.

[Tigerhair]

I think this must be the worst year yet for snails in my garden... I have NEVER suffered with them as badly in my garden before.... my greenhouse is FULL of them and it is so frustrating - loads of my little plants going... perhaps the snails have been smoking something as they have a TERRIBLE case of munchies!!!...

My own personal hell would be Josh (my little boy) being really ill... couldn't think of anything worse... well I don't want to...

[glenniedragon]

Ground elder, ground elder everywhere...........(shudders)its closing in, its closing in......It in my garden and allotment there is NO escape

kind thougts
Deb

[The Chili Monster]

* swearing profusely
ahhhh! Don't mention snails or slugs. I used to have a begrudging (unfounded, of course) liking for snails. Not any more. The only reason I don't hate snails right now as much as I hate slugs is the fact that at least snails don't just sneak out after dark.
It's like a 1970's episode of Dr Who with Tom Baker in my garden. I keep expecting to discover that my compost "bin" is in reality The Master's Tardis.

[Millymollymandy]

I don't have slugs or snails - at least what I do find are tiny little things that don't do any damage.

*runs away chased by hundreds of irate axe-wielding Self Sufficientishers*

My nightmare is bindweed, and the dreaded flea beetle meaning I can't grow radishes except in pots, which I don't have the time to do!

My other nightmare/worry is that when we dug this veg patch, we had a field of cows right next to it. Then Farmer Giles ploughed it all up and planted maize. This year it is wheat and yesterday I watched him going up and down spraying something (shudders). This is the 2nd time he has sprayed 'something'. I really don't want to know........

My real personal hell is drought and the hours and hours spent watering, where I really begin to wonder if I should just chuck it all in and sit by the pond eating ice cream.

[Boots]

A friend of mine recently sent me a pic of what she considered a garden makeover. She used the words "How to turn an ugly eyesaw into a lovely garden setting". They had ripped out all plant life, pressure packed all the soil and paved everything!

That would be my hell. If I came home and found one of those makeover mobs had come and paved, concreted and installed a bloody concrete statue of David or something. I think I'd have a fit.

I must ask Andy... Is this the flipside of the 'God in a garden' thread?

... or did you find a funny mushroom when foraging lately which transformed those snails into mutations?

[Millymollymandy]

That would be my hell. If I came home and found one of those makeover mobs had come and paved, concreted and installed a bloody concrete statue of David or something. I think I'd have a fit.

It could be worse. They could have installed a whole family of gnomes!

[The Chili Monster]

MMM wrote:

It could be worse. They could have installed a whole family of gnomes!

Or those windmill things.

[Millymollymandy]

Or a 5 metre high Leylandii hedge.

101 garden nightmares.........

[Goodlife1970]

My garden hell already happened earlier in the year when the cover blew off the polytunnel,luckily there wasnt much in there but I shudder to think if it happened now! Theres the Japanese knotweed thats always threatening to invade from the neighbours field along with the Ragwort,the mink getting my hens (again!) or one of the kids falling into the river! No wonder Im a nervous wreck!

[justkate]

My garden hell would be slugs that grew to six feet in length and developed a dislike for beer. I hate the revolting slimey little &*%^&*$ with a passion.