What a miserable day for news

[Millymollymandy]

Who?

[Wombat]

Mrs Wombat dragged me along to see John Denver.............More than once! I drew the line at the osmonds though and she took a girlfriend!

Nev

[ina]

Mrs Wombat dragged me along to see John Denver.............More than once!

Never realised he was that big down under - I thought it was just my then boss (I was in Australia in 1984 or so)! He gave me a JD tape, which I played non=stop in the car (the tape recorder was broken, and didn't eject... So I was stuck with him!) I still have the tape somewhere, too.

And I like Pam Ayres, too...

[Stonehead]

When I was a cadet journalist, on my first newspaper, I had the unenviable job of doing the weekly random phone survey, aka the Vox Pop. It involved phoning 10 local people, picked at random from the phone book, and asking them what they thought about the "issue of the week". Bear in mind that this was a thrice weekly newspaper, in a small country town in Australia, with an editor whose idea of "issue of the week" was determined by the amount of booze he'd consumed at lunchtime.

After a year of randomly phoning hicks, hill billies, weirdos, bumpkins, dementia victims, lunchtime drunks, would-be comedians and blokes called Wayne who drive V8 utes, I was somewhat cynical about our local opinion makers.

One afternoon, the editor lumbered through to the "newsroom" (actually a converted stable block with no air conditioning, that could reach 35C inside and still stank of horse shit) and wafted his lunch fumes over me. "This week's issue is the army base. Alright? What do people think about the idea of it closing? Make sure you get some good quotes, this time."

Okay, out with the phone book and start phoning the sort of random nutters who are home on a hot afternoon, well before knock-off time in most of the local businesses.

Slide a finger down the rows of numbers, dial one at random, write it down and talk to whoever answers.

One down, nine to go.

Three down, seven to go.

Six down, four to go.

It's hot, it's stinking, and all I'm getting are loonies who mutter, mumble, swear, rant, rave and drool.

Call number nine.

"Hello sir, this is D from the Argus. We're doing a Vox Pop on the future of the army base. Would you be interested in having a say on whether it should close or not?"

"No, I can't say anything about the base. It's too sensitive."

Hmm, sounds like one of the UFO/men in black/masons are taking over the world nutters.

"Why would that be, sir?"

"Because I'm Gough Whitlam."

Hmm. (Gough Whitlam is a former Prime Minister of Australia.) Definitely a nutter or would-be comedian. I've called people before who've told me they're famous people. They've all been nutters or comedians.

"You're Gough Whitlam?"

"Yes. I can't say anything about the base. You need to talk to the party."

"Really? You're the former Prime Minister..."

"Look, I AM GOUGH WHITLAM. And I was the Prime Minister!"

"Pull the other leg, sir. It has bells on it it."

There was an explosion of anger on the other end of the phone. I hung up and turned to the other reporter in the newsroom.

"Another one of those dickheads. This one reckoned he was Gough Whitlam."

She looked at me over her glasses.

"What number did you call?"

I showed her the number I'd written down. She leafed through her contacts book. Then showed me a page.

"Mr Whitlam's son Nick has a property up here. He sometimes visits. That's the number you called at random."

Oooooops.

[JillStephens7]

All this Pam Ayres talk reminds me of a favourite childhood poem, though Google can't tell me if it's actually one of hers.

In our yard we had a bucket,
Now we haven't - someone took it.

I also had a kylie & jason phase and remember getting a record token from my mum and dad signed "Not to be spent on Aussie idiot records ... we hope!"

This would have been about the same time I went to see the Chippendales (I still can't believe that was really me, or that the mums of a group of my friends from school thought this was an appropriate evenings entertainment for a group of 16 year old girls)!

Ha ha, this has given me a good giggle, I had forgotten all about the Chippendales 'incident'! I'm more knitting & Neil Young these days ... oh and monarch of the glen

[boboff]

My son this year was watching my sister open up her birthday gifts from my brother's latest charity shop raid.

"oh look Junket bowls, lovely" says my sister.

" yeah Junk is right" say my 8 year old son.

Laugh! I nearly cried.

[ina]

"Mr Whitlam's son Nick has a property up here. He sometimes visits. That's the number you called at random."

Oooooops.

Did you ring back and explain?

[mrsflibble]

I've seen Norman Lovett doing stand up. Live. 3 times. I have his autograph.

Chat magazine is my guilty pleasure. I like to read it in the bath with a glass of decent merlot.

I am in love with Morgan Freeman and have been since I was 13. He just seems to get better as he gets older.

think that'll do for now ;)

[Big Al]

What's the dbins and waited for the dustbin men to lift the lid then shouted boo, I've climbed on kids playgrounds emabarrsing my son, I want to shake my stuff on the ibiza nightclub dancefloors..... oh and I act my shoesize virtually every day.......

.... so what is embarrasing??