Views on Fostering

[boboff]

Thank you that's a great sentiment, one which I share, but as I say I hope not from a point of naivity!

[grahamhobbs]

We fostered through Social Services and despite fine words the last thing they wanted to do was support you or the child. They had 'targets', ie. get the kids off their responsibility and having to pay for them, and secondly to protect their own backs and jobs, and if that meant individual social workers lying, stabbing you in the back, etc so be it. For us our social services in the end put us of fostering, although we had no real problems with who we were fostering and are still in regular contact with them.

[boboff]

Yes, Graham that was my initial impression and why I thought Agencies would be better, have been involved with the Cornwall people through school, when you get 80% of the staff taken away and the same work, your motivation is going to hit the floor, and your effectiveness as well, seems daft then that they the pay a premium to the Agencies for all the care they could have have arranged themselves at a discount, if they were structured and funded adequately, but more than that I have never met a council Social worker I like! That to me makes a huge difference, especially when you have a "sence of humour" like me!

I think the opinions expressed here are so usefull, as it shows that there is no right or wrong answer, or formula, or prescriptive treatment, it's allot like growing Raspberries in that Regard!!!!

[mrsflibble]

Boboff, I just wanted to share my friend's experience. he was put into care at the age of 4 and a half ish after abuse at the hands of his mother's boyfriend, and his mother falling apart mentally...He went through a couple of foster families, but I'll focus on the ones that he claims "turned him around". they showed him that families don't hit. families hug, and love, and care. he'd never experienced that and he went "a little nuts" for a while, he ended up being a bit of an 8 year old tearaway, but with their unconditional love and care he became the model child. right before he was (in his words) "torn away and given back to [his] completely nutzoid mum". he loved his foster parents, they loved and cared for him and he says that time with them helped him to cope with life in the future. he's now a 29 year old orphan and still thinks of his foster parents.

Boboff, it will be hard, but it is so very worthwhile.

[yvette]

I too would have concerns for your children, especially the youngest - not just in terms of possibly having difficulty with foster children, but also because, in my experience, my teenager needs me every bit as much now as he did when he was younger. His needs are different now but he still needs a lot from me.