Ages - cor, soddin' ages - ago, in the deep and dark and distant past, I opened a Facebook account. I couldn't get it to do anything, so I put it down to experience. I've recently been trying again.
I find that I have completely lost touch with the internet world. I have no idea - nor can I find a way to gain any idea - how to make Facebook do anything. I am now, apparently, "Friends" with just about every taxi driver in the world (no, don't ask, because I haven't the foggiest). They're coming in from Peru, Croatia, Canada and Portugal - all places I've never been to. I've never had so many friends - and they're all bloody taxi drivers. I have been - what's that term? - nudged or elbowed or tapped politely on the shoulder (I don't know - but it may be "prodded" which sounds like a pseudo-sexual experience) by everyone and his goat (but no human or goat that I actually ever knew). I can see things like "groups" that I might have an interest in, but that's all - I can see them but I can't nudge, elbow, tap or, God forbid, "prod" in my turn. I keep getting emails telling me how I'm missing out, and it's making me feel like I really am (sob, sob).
I have come to the conclusion that I am either entering the first stages of dementia or Facebook is penetrable only by someone with a degree in obscurity. Has the human race really spent all this time racing through technological revolutions just to come up with ... Facebook? Is that it? Is that the sum total of our collective knowledge?
There you go. You can tell I'm in philosophical mood tonight (well ... either that or thick). But I give up. There are easier ways of wasting time.
The secret of life is to aim below the head (With thanks to MMM)