F-f-f-facebook

[MKG]

Ages - cor, soddin' ages - ago, in the deep and dark and distant past, I opened a Facebook account. I couldn't get it to do anything, so I put it down to experience. I've recently been trying again.

I find that I have completely lost touch with the internet world. I have no idea - nor can I find a way to gain any idea - how to make Facebook do anything. I am now, apparently, "Friends" with just about every taxi driver in the world (no, don't ask, because I haven't the foggiest). They're coming in from Peru, Croatia, Canada and Portugal - all places I've never been to. I've never had so many friends - and they're all bloody taxi drivers. I have been - what's that term? - nudged or elbowed or tapped politely on the shoulder (I don't know - but it may be "prodded" which sounds like a pseudo-sexual experience) by everyone and his goat (but no human or goat that I actually ever knew). I can see things like "groups" that I might have an interest in, but that's all - I can see them but I can't nudge, elbow, tap or, God forbid, "prod" in my turn. I keep getting emails telling me how I'm missing out, and it's making me feel like I really am (sob, sob).

I have come to the conclusion that I am either entering the first stages of dementia or Facebook is penetrable only by someone with a degree in obscurity. Has the human race really spent all this time racing through technological revolutions just to come up with ... Facebook? Is that it? Is that the sum total of our collective knowledge?

There you go. You can tell I'm in philosophical mood tonight (well ... either that or thick). But I give up. There are easier ways of wasting time.

Mike

[boboff]

You get Poked Mike. Seriously.

Try the friend search box at the top. Try 5 friends names you have lost contact with, if you find one, click on the name and "send a friend request" if they get in touch, keep it and work it out, if you fail in your quest make sure to delete the account ( actually you deactivate it, so you can always go back to it)

[MKG]

Poked! Yes - that's it. I've been poked. I may have actually poked in my turn, but I don't know.

Mike

[diggernotdreamer]

I got poked once - I didn't like it

[Odsox]

I may have actually poked in my turn, but I don't know.

I've heard this can be a phenomenon of the morning after, but not from personal experience you understand.

[Skippy]

I've got a facebook account but that's pretty much where my knowledge of it ends. I very rarely use it. I did manage to "like" selfsufficientish on there but don't actually know what that really means.
To be honest I don't really like facebook at all, I find the whole layout a mess , it's a bit like trying to listen to a dozen conversations or read a dozen books all at once.


another luddite
Pete

[MKG]

I didn't give up. I persevered. And I have advanced.

Now I have a friend that I actually wanted to have. This is good (I think). I don't yet know what on earth to do about that, but I HAVE A FRIEND!!!!!! I've still got all those bloody taxi drivers, though, and given that I now have a lot of other people who are mutual friends with my friend, I suspect that my friend now also suffers from taxi driver overload.

Is it possible to turn these invaders off? This is my next Facebook project.

Mike

EDIT: It's my daughter's husband! He's a taxi driver - it's all his fault! How do I politely say "Get thee hence and take your bloody taxi entourage away"?

[The Riff-Raff Element]

If your surname begins with a G, Mike, I think I just accepted you. Not that I hadn't already, you understand, but on Facebook.

[MKG]

I just checked - and you have done just that, Jon. Thank you - I feel somehow legitimised.

Bloody hell! Of course! Hardly anyone on Facebook knows what my name is. I could be the infamous axe-murderer of Mercia. This needs deep thought.

Mike

EDIT: Oh, Jon - prepare yourself for the ability to call a taxi anywhere in the entire universe.

[Green Aura]

I'm feeling unwanted and unloved.

[Odsox]

I think you just popped up on my FB page, so if you see a beardy bloke .. 'tis me.

[marshlander]

To remove friends you dont want click on your own name on the blue bar at the top.
then click on the word friends under the box with lots of friends pictures.
Next hovver the mouse over the box to the right of the person you don't want and a menu appears.
Click on unfriend - done!

[marshlander]

[MKG]

I'm feeling unwanted and unloved.

(Becoming more proficient) That, young lady, is because you have ignored my request to be your friend. At least I hope it was you. It sounded like you and has your name. Is that you? If it isn't you, then I must apologise to whoever it is who is pretending to be you, or simply resembling you.

Hey, this Facebook is great. See? I can be SnottyfaceBook, although it appears that it's possible to be SnottyfaceBook with entirely the wrong person. A book awaits, I feel.

Mike

[Green Aura]

Sorted. Hi friend.