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VERY BAD DAY - DESTRESS!!!

Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 12:08 am
by ElizabethBinary
UGH! If you read my rant in the ishing your relationship thread you'll know I'm having a hard time with an ungrateful little punk who is living in our house right now and just taking advantage of us. Well yesterday the jerk decides to delete everything off the USB drive I loaned him. On that USB drive, which I had REPEATEDLY TOLD HIM was my novel I wrote. I managed to spend 10 hours recovering 23,000 words of the 51,000 I had. What did he do? He read a ***** book! Anyway, yeah, he's definitely getting kicked out.. but until then I'm stuck with some whiny jobless 37 year old making my life a living :angryfire: :angryfire: :angryfire:. I can't believe I'm a 23 year old freakin non-citizen who moved to this country four years ago with nothing but two suitcases and I -still- have more money/friends/motivation/jobs/life than he does!

I'm still ranting.. that's helping nothing... ventventvent....

ANYWAY.. the actual point of this thread is here:

I need to destress in a big way. I have lavender oil which I've been burning pretty much nonstop. I made a mango face mask the other day, which helped a bit. I also got drunk, which just made me sick. I am on a huge fitness kick so I can't even relax with a bar of chocolate or sugar or anything! AGH! :banghead: And I am terrible at meditating!

What to do to unwind while I'm stuck with Mr. Loser in my house til he finds a place?

Somebody want to adopt me for a week? I like to clean and cook!

Re: VERY BAD DAY - DESTRESS!!!

Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 2:24 am
by ElizabethBinary
And I ust checked my account to find it in the negative for the first time in two years. :pale:

How do I make so much money and not have any?!

Oh yeah, because I'm supporting someone else's lifestyle. He can afford beer and smokes but not rent?

I'm going to cry. My kindness at helping a friend who was going to go homeless without me has bitten me in the arse. Now I'm broke and exhausted and miserable.

Maybe a good cry sesh will ease me up a bit. *sigh*

AND I CAN'T EVEN WORK ON MY FRICKEN ONLINE STUFF THAT MAKES ME MONEY BECAUSE HE BROKE THE COMPUTER. :angryfire:

Re: VERY BAD DAY - DESTRESS!!!

Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 3:03 am
by Cassiepod
Elizabeth, I can't really help, but I can sympathise. Possibly get yourself out of the house, on your own, for a walk to physically get away from the problem might help clear your mind. Alcohol won't work, just makes you even more depressed in the morning. Or find something that completely absorbs you so you forget - playing music, cooking, baking, gardening or reading are mine

:grouphug: and I hope you mange to move him on very soon.

Re: VERY BAD DAY - DESTRESS!!!

Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 3:12 am
by ElizabethBinary
Cassiepod wrote:Elizabeth, I can't really help, but I can sympathise. Possibly get yourself out of the house, on your own, for a walk to physically get away from the problem might help clear your mind. Alcohol won't work, just makes you even more depressed in the morning. Or find something that completely absorbs you so you forget - playing music, cooking, baking, gardening or reading are mine

:grouphug: and I hope you mange to move him on very soon.
Thanks. After I read all this I kinda felt bad for posting it. This isn't the place for that sort of thing and I'm sorry. ;-;

I'm going for a motorbike ride. A little bit of stunting to get the adrenaline going should make me feel a bit better. Plus, petrol for my motorbike is like $10 for 200km, so there is that as well.

Re: VERY BAD DAY - DESTRESS!!!

Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 3:46 am
by Bonniegirl
EB so sorry you're having a bad time! Get him to pack up his stuff, put him in the car, drive him to the nearest Youth Hostel and drive away! Go on! Do it! Before you go mad!! :grouphug:

Re: VERY BAD DAY - DESTRESS!!!

Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 1:20 pm
by crowsashes
:grouphug: get that choccie bar ! i guarentee youll feel much better and probably used all that energy with your rant and theres nothing wrong with ranting either! better to do it here than at your partner or the layabout in your house! then youll have got everything out and can tell him calmly to get the hell out! its the only way to sort out the situation and to sort out your bank balance. as i personally think hes taking the urine!

i lived in a student house for years and the guys i lived with were pretty similar, all i can say is thank god for a dishwasher as it would have just been hell to live in well it was but the fact i didnt have to wash dishes constantly was a hell of a lot easier!

Re: VERY BAD DAY - DESTRESS!!!

Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 4:29 pm
by Martina
Hi Elizabeth,

I second everyone here. First, take care of yourself. Then, calmly kick his butt to the curb. Unfortunately, no matter how much we might care about someone, we have to accept that maybe they need to learn their lessons the hard way, and to get in the way of that process may be doing them more harm than good. Nearly becoming homeless didn't teach this guy to take responsibility for himself before, so here he is again--exhausting ready available resources and facing homelessness. He will continue to end up here until he gets it, no matter who how many kind people step into to try and save him from himself. So your next step is really to get out of his way, and allow him the opportunity to face his consequences. It's called "tough love" for a reason and it's not appropriate in all circumstances, but it sounds like this is a situation in which it is necessary.

Good luck :hugish:

Martina

Re: VERY BAD DAY - DESTRESS!!!

Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 9:01 pm
by indy
Can't really suggest anything else, hope it all works out ok though :hugish:

Re: VERY BAD DAY - DESTRESS!!!

Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 9:54 pm
by fruitcake
i agree with the others
A mate of mine had a terrible flatmate who didn't pay rent, borrowed and abused her stuff without asking etc etc

We went round helped her load her lodgers stuff into binbags, piled it up in the close and told her what hadn't gone with her in two days was going in the skip.

Chuck him out!

Re: VERY BAD DAY - DESTRESS!!!

Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 10:10 pm
by ElizabethBinary
I had to take money from the wedding savings fund and put it in the account to cover everything. That made me so sad! :(

Anyway yeah, everyone I know is saying to kick him out yesterday. I tried all night to talk to him to give him a date but he didn't leave his room once while we were in the livingroom! It looks like we're going to have to drag him out. Ugh, why do other people always have to make things so hard.

The ride did help though. I bought a new laptop so I can have a reliable access to my work after flatmate killed everything in the house. It's good because I can make money but it's bad because I had to put it on credit. :( At least now I can work the laptop off and go back to putting money in my wedding account.

My man is being so good about this. I've been trying positive thinking techniques or quantam thinking and last night he went, "Hey what are you so worried about? In one month we'll have all our bills paid, he'll be gone and we'll have a thousand dollars saved up." Which really helped.

And I gotta say, after so many honey mango face masks to soothe my nerves, I have awesome skin!

Re: VERY BAD DAY - DESTRESS!!!

Posted: Sat Jan 16, 2010 8:28 pm
by DeneciePie
On a related note; you can download a program like "diskdigger" for free and look for the rest of your novel. I accidently reformatted a USB drive with ten years of digital photos and that little program found them when "they' (the experts) said they were gone. The labelling was not intact, but I have them back. Give it a try.
I have also been known to put the drives from dead computers into the little cases you can get for them and keeping my files that way. Usually when the computer "dies" its not the Hard disc.
I know a little something about users like your flatmate. He wont grow up as long as someone will take him in and enable him to go on as he likes. It is in both your best interests to pitch him out. No, you are not being cruel, it needs to happen.

Best of Luck

DeneciePie

Re: VERY BAD DAY - DESTRESS!!!

Posted: Sat Jan 16, 2010 8:36 pm
by ElizabethBinary
DeneciePie wrote:On a related note; you can download a program like "diskdigger" for free and look for the rest of your novel. I accidently reformatted a USB drive with ten years of digital photos and that little program found them when "they' (the experts) said they were gone. The labelling was not intact, but I have them back. Give it a try.
I have also been known to put the drives from dead computers into the little cases you can get for them and keeping my files that way. Usually when the computer "dies" its not the Hard disc.
I know a little something about users like your flatmate. He wont grow up as long as someone will take him in and enable him to go on as he likes. It is in both your best interests to pitch him out. No, you are not being cruel, it needs to happen.

Best of Luck

DeneciePie
I already used 7 different recovery programs on the file. I got back 23,000 out of 51,000 words, that's it. :( Very sad. He's been completely avoiding my (scary muscular) hubby, who I think he knows is the one who's gonna throw him out.

I guess I just expected someone who was 37 to be a grownup!!!

Re: VERY BAD DAY - DESTRESS!!!

Posted: Wed Jan 20, 2010 7:05 pm
by theabsinthefairy
Sorry EB - there is nothing to say to make you feel better with this one, unfortunately the only way to sort this out is with some direct action, but in the meantime :hugish:

Re: VERY BAD DAY - DESTRESS!!!

Posted: Wed Jan 20, 2010 10:03 pm
by ElizabethBinary
Aww thanks... it's not getting better. That flatmate does have another week but...

remember how I was in the negative? Well I went to an ATM to immediately deposit $500 cash... and it didn't work... so I cancelled it, went to another bank and did it again. Apparently the first bank got an empty envelope with my card name on it, looked at my account, saw a $500 ATM deposit, didn't check that it came from another bank and REVERSED IT.

So I have been in the negative for four days now, with my rent now being late, trying to chase down my money. :pale:

Every time I call they give me shit, too, "When you made the deposit were you aware you were in the negative?" YES I WAS AWARE THAT'S WHY I MADE A DEPOSIT YOU KNOB.

On the bright side, my hubby's been working 12 hour days 6 days a week and even had a small ($50 is $50!) bonus for working on a friend's truck for his boss (even though he was already paid hourly for it!)... so tomorrow he gets paid a massive wad of cash almost doubling his normal pay AND I should get that $500 back today or tomorrow... so we'll be MAJORLY cashed up.

'cept like right now? I can't even buy milk.

Your hug did really help me feel better though. I needed it. Human compassion always eases the soul.

Re: VERY BAD DAY - DESTRESS!!!

Posted: Thu Jan 21, 2010 5:37 am
by Martina
Glad to see the positive side starting to come your way. Stay strong. :hugish:

Martina