A box of one's own

[Flo]

Do we really need a house of our own? Or can families become a community again?

It's an interesting line of thought.

[eccentric_emma]

It is a really interesting line of thought, however on a personal note, I treasure my own space and have to have time alone every day otherwise I go nuts. Even neighbours drive me mad. But that is just a personal note. If I look at it objectively, I think we probably should consider family homes again (although this obviously wouldnt work for everyone)

[ina]

I wish there were more small houses on the market. Wherever you look, small old properties are being done up and extended - two bedrooms doesn't seem to be enough for anybody, and nobody would even try to stick a one bedroom one up for sale! At the moment, I live in a house that's far too big for me (three bedrooms - with the result that I have collected far too much "stuff" ); but I had no choice - tied housing. The neighbours live in an identical house, and they are a family with three kids. For them, it's just right.

What I'd like to live in is a "but and ben" - i.e., one kitchen/livingroom, and a small bedroom. So much easier to maintain and heat - and doesn't lead to heaps of stuff all over the place...

[Ellendra]

I'm waaaay too territorial for that. I'd rather have a one-room shack of my own, than a gigantic manor that had to be shared with everyone.

But then, I'm also eccentric enough to be kicked out of such group-housing these days :p

[invisiblepiper]

I have a big ish house (three bedrooms)- but I,m hoping grandchildren may come to stay one day. We bought it so cheaply to accomadate our family and dogs - I don't want to leave - so I.m at last doing something with the substantial garden. Never had time when the children were wee!
Wouldn't like to have a multiple occupancy I think.

[Thomzo]

I ended up in a large 3 bed house on my own when the ex moved out. I kept weighing up the pros and cons of moving to something smaller. I love the garden and it would be almost impossible to find a smaller house with such a great garden, and the location is ideal for me, plus all the costs of moving put me off. But I do know exactly what Ina means about collecting too much stuff. Every time I get rid of something, I seem to end up with more stuff.

Zoe

[LBR]

I agree with Ellendra, I'd rather have a one-room shack of my own, than a gigantic manor that had to be shared with everyone.

I've done that. I've lived in intentional communities. I've shared flats in Wohngemeinschaften with strangers in Germany. I've shared living spaces with college friends. Sometimes in grand houses, sometimes in apartment complexes.

I think these are all shabby counterfeits of having one's own home and family.

There is nothing that can replace one's own space. Not hearing, or smelling, the neighbors is important.
I'd like to have enough land to not be able to see any neighbors!

Those sorts of articles always seems like propaganda for government-controlled housing communities.

Property rights have to do with ownership. Here's to privacy.

It's why I bought a used mobile home. I have my own space, and don't have to live in an apartment/flat. Living in a mobile home is looked down on by many people. It's just snobbishness. Many people foreclosing on houses now, could have owned a mobile home, free and clear of debt, and be happily at home. This giant mess with the housing industry would never have happened if people would buy something they can afford. You can buy a perfectly good, used mobile home for less than the price of a good used car. It's the land that costs so much.

All the adorable, tiny houses, with one or two bedrooms are being torn down. Monstrosities are being built, and selling for close to one million dollars. I can't imagine how anyone could buy such an albatross.

You can tell, I'm all for simple, and do-able.

[Flo]

My aren't we a set of individuals who post here. Before I moved here, I lived in a block of 12 flats - 6 to each side. You'd find that people would sit on the stairs or the outside wall and natter, look out for each other, share information on repairs, complain about the garden not being done, the lack of recycling facilities, how loud the club on the other side of the car park was, the puddle on the corner where the block met the main road ....

We all had our private spaces but we were a community. Now that's my idea of how a building can give both private space and community living. I must admit that the line of houses where I live now is rather the same. We can natter over the wall, take deliveries for each other or not speak to each other as the mood takes us. But we know if someone is not around, suddenly absent or whatever. None of us has a lot of spare space but we manage. Much as I like my own front door and private space, I'd hate to be totally isolated from the neighbours. But that's the way I've grown up.

Old 'abits die 'ard as the tutor said when suddenly teaching Photoshop on a PC when he used a Mac all the time.

[Super.Niki]

Me and the bf were having this discussion t'other day actually.

He doesn't see the point in striding towards owning his own home and, for the moment, is happy in his little rented bedsit (although we both agree, anywhere but Leicester would be nice as the city is horrible ). However I can't stand renting and would much rather have my own place that I've brought!

Personally I hate living with other people, maybe it's because I've had some bad experiences with bullying and immature housemates (http://studenthalls-ohwhatfun.blogspot.com/) but I never feel like it's my home because I'm having to do thing everyone else's way. I can't use all eco-friendly cleaning products because the rest of the house needs whatever, there's problems over bills (and one cheap & lazy so-and-so who refuses to pay her share...), there's precious bits of privacy (no wandering round in the nuddy for me!), shared bathrooms are not fun, shared kitchens are worse! So many things in the contract that we're "not" allowed to do yet the Landlady NEVER does the things she's promised to do. Frankly the place I'm in at the moment is a s**t hole of a house, however we can't do anything tio improve it because we don't own it! These are all problems sharing with people I LIKE! If you don't get on with your housemates or just don't see eye to eye it's hideously lonely and really horrible because there's never a sense of being happy at "home".



I want a house... don't really mind how big (although to be honest G's bedsit is far too tiny for me, let alone the both of us, to live in!!) just a one-bed flat or larger bedsit than G's would be lovely, no housemates to share with, my own space... pure bliss!

[Rosendula]

Mixed views here. I understand the reasoning, and I think in theory it would be good:

• more people living there means the house is left empty less often so security it better
• more people around to help each other out with everything from looking after the children, to bringing in some money, housework, decorating, etc., etc.
• children benefit from wisdom of multiple generations and learn to socialize with a wider variety of age groups more assertively

That said, I have my doubts. My house is tiny, far too small for the 5 of us who live here now, and although my children are welcome to live with us for ever and ever should they so wish, we really wouldn't have room for any future spouses or children.

As for the idea of my family living in the same house as my parents I just couldn't do it. I couldn't wait to get out of there as soon as I could. Not only are my parents horrible, nasty, vindictive people (and they were nasty to my children which is why I stopped them seeing them), we just have different tastes and values. For example, they have a large garden which is all about show - the grass has to be a certain length, the lawn is surrounded by flower boarders, leaves are raked up and added to landfill (they tried compost bins, but got upset by all the slug and snails in there and fed them to the fish before adding chemical compost activator ). My garden, on the other hand, is what I call a 'working garden'. If something doesn't have a use, whether edible, medicinal or something else, it doesn't grow there. The only exception is a small grass lawn which I keep as a play area. My parents just don't understand that and think my garden's a mess because my fruit bushes are tall They also think that I shouldn't do the gardening because I'm female Add that to my mother's obsessive compulsive disorder (cleaning), and their shared fear of dirt and germs, their constant criticisms, my father's dominant personality........ I'd end up behind bars, honest!

Oh! And we like to sit with our feet up on the settee!

[Green Aura]

I think what you do during the day - studying, working, whatever must have some influence on how you feel about your home. Virtually everyone I know whose daytime activities involve dealing directly with the public just want to close the door and do their own thing when they get home.

Other acquaintances, who work mainly in computing, seem quite happy to share their homes - at least until they're ready to "settle down".

I think I'm definitely in the first category. Although I have adopted a few waifs and strays (of the human variety) along the way.

[The Riff-Raff Element]

All the time that I was growing up, our house was filled with waifs & strays, mostly my or my brother's friends seeking refuge. After we left home, they kept coming. My parents loved it.

Now I am a parent myself I hardly pass a day without tripping over some strange child or other loafing around our house and I begin to see their point.

OK, it hardly makes for a tidy environment, but it is rather fun.

Since we've lived here we have twice had complete strangers come to stay as working guests for weeks at a time in our home and enjoyed it thoroughly. We are fortunate that our house does ramble and there are hidden corners. If we were to include the gite next door and move a couple of internal walls we could extend it to be truly huge, and I think to an extent that we are already tentatively working out how we could in principle accommodate one or more of our daughters with their future families.

Perhaps if one grows up in a madhouse, one becomes accustomed.

[Shirley]

I wish there were more small houses on the market. Wherever you look, small old properties are being done up and extended - two bedrooms doesn't seem to be enough for anybody, and nobody would even try to stick a one bedroom one up for sale! At the moment, I live in a house that's far too big for me (three bedrooms - with the result that I have collected far too much "stuff" ); but I had no choice - tied housing. The neighbours live in an identical house, and they are a family with three kids. For them, it's just right.

What I'd like to live in is a "but and ben" - i.e., one kitchen/livingroom, and a small bedroom. So much easier to maintain and heat - and doesn't lead to heaps of stuff all over the place...

sadly, in our area, most of these seem to be sold for silly prices as a 'house in the country' for the folks that can afford it. I hate to see holiday cottages that are only used for a few week a year when there could be someone living in them all year round.

[Green Aura]

Oh me too Shirley. And unfortunately it's the English who seem to be the main culprits. Too much equity in property.

Without being too harsh, with a bit of luck the current financial difficulties may curtail this practice, and drop prices sufficiently so that locals, on local incomes, can afford to buy.

I know I'm an incomer but at least I live here all year round and contribute to the community and local economy.

[ina]

A colleague was offering one for rent recently - one bedroom; no pets, no DSS (of course! - they are highly dangerous folks, them... ) - £500 rent. Plus council tax etc. Well, I couldn't afford that on what I earn... Housing market is just mad.