101 family friendly cracker jokes
- red
- A selfsufficientish Regular
- Posts: 6513
- Joined: Sun Jul 30, 2006 7:59 pm
- Location: Devon UK
- Contact:
101 family friendly cracker jokes
we are making homemade crackers this year. I need some jokes suitable for all the family... pleae help...
so far have
1. what does Father Christmas use to weed the garden? :his hoe hoe hoe
2. what's brown and sneaks around the kitchen? :mince spies
3. what did one snowman say to the other snowman?: can you smell carrot?
so far have
1. what does Father Christmas use to weed the garden? :his hoe hoe hoe
2. what's brown and sneaks around the kitchen? :mince spies
3. what did one snowman say to the other snowman?: can you smell carrot?
Red
I like like minded people... a bit like minded anyway.. well people with bits of their minds that are like the bits of my mind that I like...
my website: colour it green
etsy shop
blog
I like like minded people... a bit like minded anyway.. well people with bits of their minds that are like the bits of my mind that I like...
my website: colour it green
etsy shop
blog
- pumpy
- A selfsufficientish Regular
- Posts: 773
- Joined: Fri Jul 04, 2008 7:37 pm
- Location: Norfolk, where the cafe's still shut for lunch!
Re: 101 family friendly cracker jokes
Santa(looking out of the window) said to mrs. claus, "it looks like rain,dear".
it's either one or the other, or neither of the two.
- sleepyowl
- A selfsufficientish Regular
- Posts: 1121
- Joined: Sun Jun 29, 2008 6:53 am
- Location: Hasbury, Halesowen
- Contact:
Re: 101 family friendly cracker jokes
I think you'll find most people will draw blanks on this, by the age of 12 most of my jokes were smutty
Organiser of the Rainbow Moot for LGBT Pagans in the West Midlands
http://robstacey.blogspot.co.uk/
http://robstacey.blogspot.co.uk/
- Penny Lane
- A selfsufficientish Regular
- Posts: 544
- Joined: Mon Sep 08, 2008 8:35 pm
- Location: Wales
Re: 101 family friendly cracker jokes
5. What do monkeys sing at Christmas?
'Jungle Bells'!
6. Did Rudolph go to school?
No he was 'elf'-taught!
7. What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Snow caps!
(Red - how do you make crackers? Do you have a link? )
'Jungle Bells'!
6. Did Rudolph go to school?
No he was 'elf'-taught!
7. What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Snow caps!
(Red - how do you make crackers? Do you have a link? )
"It's breaking the circle.
Going to work, to get money, to translate into things, which you use up, which means you go to work again, etc, etc.
The Norm.
What we should be doing is working at the job of life itself."
- Tom Good, The Good Life.
Going to work, to get money, to translate into things, which you use up, which means you go to work again, etc, etc.
The Norm.
What we should be doing is working at the job of life itself."
- Tom Good, The Good Life.
- red
- A selfsufficientish Regular
- Posts: 6513
- Joined: Sun Jul 30, 2006 7:59 pm
- Location: Devon UK
- Contact:
Re: 101 family friendly cracker jokes
thanks for the ones so far
Penny - I'll do some instructions in a bit - meanwhile save toilet roll inners!!
Penny - I'll do some instructions in a bit - meanwhile save toilet roll inners!!
Red
I like like minded people... a bit like minded anyway.. well people with bits of their minds that are like the bits of my mind that I like...
my website: colour it green
etsy shop
blog
I like like minded people... a bit like minded anyway.. well people with bits of their minds that are like the bits of my mind that I like...
my website: colour it green
etsy shop
blog
- Andy Hamilton
- Site Admin
- Posts: 6631
- Joined: Tue Oct 26, 2004 11:06 pm
- Location: Bristol
- Contact:
Re: 101 family friendly cracker jokes
Little Girl "Daddy why can't I have a fawn for Christmas"
Dad "Well it's a little Dear"
Dad "Well it's a little Dear"
First we sow the seeds, nature grows the seeds then we eat the seeds. Neil Pye
My best selling Homebrew book Booze for Free
and...... Twitter
The Other Andy Hamilton - Drinks & Foraging
My best selling Homebrew book Booze for Free
and...... Twitter
The Other Andy Hamilton - Drinks & Foraging
- earthmotherwithin
- margo - newbie
- Posts: 7
- Joined: Mon Dec 22, 2008 6:48 am
Re: 101 family friendly cracker jokes
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
He wasn't peeling well!
He wasn't peeling well!
Perth Western Australia
- Milims
- A selfsufficientish Regular
- Posts: 4390
- Joined: Mon Oct 16, 2006 9:06 pm
- Location: North East
Re: 101 family friendly cracker jokes
What do you call a 3 legged donkey?
A Wonkey!
What do you call a 3 legged donkey with an eye twitch?
A Winkey wonkey!
What do you call a 3 legged donkey with an eye twitch and bad wind?
A stinky winkey wonkey!
A Wonkey!
What do you call a 3 legged donkey with an eye twitch?
A Winkey wonkey!
What do you call a 3 legged donkey with an eye twitch and bad wind?
A stinky winkey wonkey!
Let us be lovely
And let us be kind
Let us be silly and free
It won't make us famous
It won't make us rich
But damn it how happy we'll be!
Edward Monkton
Member of the Ish Weight Loss Club since 10/1/11 Started at 12st 8 and have lost 8lb so far!
And let us be kind
Let us be silly and free
It won't make us famous
It won't make us rich
But damn it how happy we'll be!
Edward Monkton
Member of the Ish Weight Loss Club since 10/1/11 Started at 12st 8 and have lost 8lb so far!
- JulieSherris
- A selfsufficientish Regular
- Posts: 1608
- Joined: Sat Jul 19, 2008 11:12 pm
- Location: Co Galway, ROI.
Re: 101 family friendly cracker jokes
Bit late, because you will have already done your crackers, but for next year....
Man goes into a shop to buy a new raincoat....
Shopkeeper: Sorry, I only sell T-Shirts, you'll have to go to Rudolph's place along the road, he specialises in outer wear...
Customer: Oh, you mean the Russian guy?
Shopkeeper: Yeah, everyone knows Rudolph the Red knows rain gear.....
Man goes into a shop to buy a new raincoat....
Shopkeeper: Sorry, I only sell T-Shirts, you'll have to go to Rudolph's place along the road, he specialises in outer wear...
Customer: Oh, you mean the Russian guy?
Shopkeeper: Yeah, everyone knows Rudolph the Red knows rain gear.....
The more people I meet, the more I like my garden
- Rosendula
- A selfsufficientish Regular
- Posts: 1743
- Joined: Fri Jun 13, 2008 4:55 pm
- Location: East Yorkshire
Re: 101 family friendly cracker jokes
OK, it took me a year to come up with these, but better late than never.... and perhaps in time for this year's crackers?
Why did the wheel stop rolling?
Because it was tyred
Why did the wheel lay down?
Because it was wheely tyred
Why did the wheel go to the doctor's?
Because it wasn't wheeling very well.
Why did the wheel stop rolling?
Because it was tyred
Why did the wheel lay down?
Because it was wheely tyred
Why did the wheel go to the doctor's?
Because it wasn't wheeling very well.
Rosey xx
-
- A selfsufficientish Regular
- Posts: 2460
- Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2008 3:13 pm
- latitude: 52.643985
- longitude: -1.052939
- Location: Leicester, uk, but heading to Ireland
Re: 101 family friendly cracker jokes
What do Hogworts call their annual talent contest?
The hex Factor
MW
The hex Factor
MW
If it isn't a Greyhound, it's just a dog!
- pumpy
- A selfsufficientish Regular
- Posts: 773
- Joined: Fri Jul 04, 2008 7:37 pm
- Location: Norfolk, where the cafe's still shut for lunch!
Re: 101 family friendly cracker jokes
So, 12 months down the road............ Frank Carson was given some crepe paper, which was crushed round the outside of a toilet-roll inner tube & said (altogether now!)....... "that's a cracker!" !!!!!
it's either one or the other, or neither of the two.
- red
- A selfsufficientish Regular
- Posts: 6513
- Joined: Sun Jul 30, 2006 7:59 pm
- Location: Devon UK
- Contact:
Re: 101 family friendly cracker jokes
dear oh dear
Red
I like like minded people... a bit like minded anyway.. well people with bits of their minds that are like the bits of my mind that I like...
my website: colour it green
etsy shop
blog
I like like minded people... a bit like minded anyway.. well people with bits of their minds that are like the bits of my mind that I like...
my website: colour it green
etsy shop
blog
-
- A selfsufficientish Regular
- Posts: 2460
- Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2008 3:13 pm
- latitude: 52.643985
- longitude: -1.052939
- Location: Leicester, uk, but heading to Ireland
Re: 101 family friendly cracker jokes
Ok, Pumpy's is the most cringworthy so far!
MW
MW
If it isn't a Greyhound, it's just a dog!