101 family friendly cracker jokes

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red
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101 family friendly cracker jokes

Post: # 134258Post red »

we are making homemade crackers this year. I need some jokes suitable for all the family... pleae help...

so far have

1. what does Father Christmas use to weed the garden? :his hoe hoe hoe
2. what's brown and sneaks around the kitchen? :mince spies
3. what did one snowman say to the other snowman?: can you smell carrot?
Red

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Re: 101 family friendly cracker jokes

Post: # 134266Post pumpy »

Santa(looking out of the window) said to mrs. claus, "it looks like rain,dear".
it's either one or the other, or neither of the two.
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Re: 101 family friendly cracker jokes

Post: # 134411Post sleepyowl »

I think you'll find most people will draw blanks on this, by the age of 12 most of my jokes were smutty
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Penny Lane
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Re: 101 family friendly cracker jokes

Post: # 134441Post Penny Lane »

5. What do monkeys sing at Christmas?

'Jungle Bells'!

6. Did Rudolph go to school?

No he was 'elf'-taught!

7. What do snowmen wear on their heads?

Snow caps!

(Red - how do you make crackers? Do you have a link? :mrgreen: )
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Re: 101 family friendly cracker jokes

Post: # 134450Post red »

thanks for the ones so far

Penny - I'll do some instructions in a bit - meanwhile save toilet roll inners!!
Red

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Re: 101 family friendly cracker jokes

Post: # 135035Post Andy Hamilton »

Little Girl "Daddy why can't I have a fawn for Christmas"
Dad "Well it's a little Dear"
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Re: 101 family friendly cracker jokes

Post: # 135107Post earthmotherwithin »

Why did the banana go to the doctor?

He wasn't peeling well!
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Re: 101 family friendly cracker jokes

Post: # 135135Post Milims »

What do you call a 3 legged donkey?
A Wonkey!

What do you call a 3 legged donkey with an eye twitch?
A Winkey wonkey!

What do you call a 3 legged donkey with an eye twitch and bad wind?
A stinky winkey wonkey!
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Re: 101 family friendly cracker jokes

Post: # 135454Post JulieSherris »

Bit late, because you will have already done your crackers, but for next year....

Man goes into a shop to buy a new raincoat....

Shopkeeper: Sorry, I only sell T-Shirts, you'll have to go to Rudolph's place along the road, he specialises in outer wear...
Customer: Oh, you mean the Russian guy?
Shopkeeper: Yeah, everyone knows Rudolph the Red knows rain gear.....
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Re: 101 family friendly cracker jokes

Post: # 173881Post Rosendula »

OK, it took me a year to come up with these, but better late than never.... and perhaps in time for this year's crackers?

Why did the wheel stop rolling?
Because it was tyred

Why did the wheel lay down?
Because it was wheely tyred

Why did the wheel go to the doctor's?
Because it wasn't wheeling very well.
Rosey xx
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Re: 101 family friendly cracker jokes

Post: # 173884Post MuddyWitch »

What do Hogworts call their annual talent contest?

The hex Factor

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Re: 101 family friendly cracker jokes

Post: # 173941Post pumpy »

So, 12 months down the road............ Frank Carson was given some crepe paper, which was crushed round the outside of a toilet-roll inner tube & said (altogether now!)....... "that's a cracker!" !!!!! :iconbiggrin:
it's either one or the other, or neither of the two.
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Re: 101 family friendly cracker jokes

Post: # 173951Post red »

dear oh dear :icon_smile:
Red

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Re: 101 family friendly cracker jokes

Post: # 174089Post MuddyWitch »

Ok, Pumpy's is the most cringworthy so far! :lol: :lol: :lol:

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Re: 101 family friendly cracker jokes

Post: # 174120Post pumpy »

:wave: :wave: :wave: :iconbiggrin:
it's either one or the other, or neither of the two.
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