Limerick Competiton - Win books and books special offer.

[invisiblepiper]

Hi MMM - strange humour - but yes - because it just doesn't rhyme as a limerick should.
( Don't ask - warped sense of humour!)

[Milims]

I heard it as:
THere once was a man from St Bees
Who was stung on the arm by as wasp
When asked does it hurt
He replied no it doesn't
But I'm glad it wasn't a hornet

[hamster]

My dad confused me for ages when I was young with:

There was a young curate from Salisbury
whose manners were quite halisbury-scalisbury.
He went around Hampshire
without any pampshire
'til his bishop compelled him to walisbury.

[Mal]

There was a young man called Santosh
Who grew his own butternut squash
Now his body is healthy
And wallet is wealthy
'Cos shop bought food is just tosh

Suddenly Mal was aware
Of wrongness of shop bought fare
Now his 'lottie is growing
From seeds he is sowing
And he's getting out in the fresh air

[Millymollymandy]

Hi MMM - strange humour - but yes - because it just doesn't rhyme as a limerick should.
( Don't ask - warped sense of humour!)

Oh I see!

[2ndRateMind]

It's not a limerick, but I thought I'd share this one with you, on Rain Forests:

Though we share the Earth as mother
I will call no Axeman brother;
For I have seen the forest rent
Where Axeman trod with fell intent,
Leaving, when he’d spent his lust
Our mother naked, but for dust
Stripped her robes of woodland green
Bruised, abused, no longer clean...

Thus, sons of Earth, though we all be,
Axeman is no kin to me.

Best wishes, 2ndRateMind.

[Millymollymandy]

There once were two Selfsuffish twins
Who didn't like putting plastic in bins
They didn't buy anything new
Used wee wipes after a poo *
And ate home grown veg for their dins!


* that might be poetic licence.

[jim]

An ish lady hailing from Bude
Pricked out courgette plants in the garden
Allotmenteers dressed in vests
Stared and ogled her efforts
Saying don't do that here, it's rude.

I was trying to write a smutty one but couldn't think of any rhymes.

Love and Peace
Jim

[TheLily]

There was a young girl aged just 7,
who thought that The Good Life was heaven,
she begged and she pleaded for all that she needed,
and was growing her own at 11.
The girl grew 'several' years older,
and her friends quite often would scold her,
for those friends were out dancing-
a'drinking and prancing,
but the girl had her head in her folder.
This old folder enveloped her wish,
not a vision of when she'd be rich,
nor of beauty or fame-
or a smug-married name,
but the ingredients for being an 'ISH'.
So finally it comes to the crunch,
a good forage provides her with brunch,
she's got veggies and fruit-
she finds a use for a boot,
and soon she'll have fresh eggs for lunch!

[sleepyowl]

I think a couple of people have missed the point of a limerick here

[Andy Hamilton]

Ok entries for this competition are now closed. I will now pluck out the best entries ready for voting.