Hyperhidrosis, anxiety and depression *help*

[ajs88]

My OH has Cranifofacial Hyperhidrosis, excessive sweating from the face caused by both heat and exhaustion but also anxiety and nervousness. Hes had it since late teens and throughout our 6 years togther, its always been a big thing for him, he even thought I'd leave him when he told me, but hes always seemed to coped with it.

I thought he copt with it and it didnt effect him much but in fact hes just spends his entire day preventing it, figuring out how to avoid it and generally trying to stay inside his comfort home which quite often is just the inside of our flat. This really isnt coping with it and yesterday he opened up about how much its effecting him, he avoids participating in things he finds interesting, he doesnt want to train to become a teacher because of it and worrys that he'll always be unable to making a living because all jobs involve social interaction and speaking in public, ironically what makes him sweat is what hes really talented at

Most worrying of all he says hes thought of suicide as a solution to his 'problems' and also jobs that would allow his to withdrawal like nightshifts and so on

Hes prone to depression and withdrawal, he withdrew in his late teens and twenties, and the later when we were together and he had to work from home. The sweating makes him to want to withdrawal but withdrawing makes him depressed. He lots his twenties to it and doesn't want to waste the rest of his thirties so as accepting as I am to contining to support him no matter how hard I know it isn't the soultiuon because it wont make him happy and give him the confidence and self-worth that he needs and feels he would get from a 'good job'.

Obviously I'm in hysterics from him using the S word, especially as I've felt this way before, hes said hes ready to go to the doctors which he wants me to accompany him to, hes also agreed to accept that at some point he should tell his line manager who is also a good friend and very caring, and weve started a diary in preparation for the doctots appointment which means talking through the day together which he seems to like and makes it much easier for me to understand how bad it is

Really I suppose I'm just asking for support with this as he wouldn't want me to talk to our friends and family about it but if anyone knows anything that might help I'd really appreciate it.

In terms of treatments he tends to find something that works and thinks hes cured and then it 'breaks', he sweats once and then hes straight back to square one, first Oderban, then hypnotherapy and then Saint Johns Wart. The treatments suggested by just looking it online are different tablets like Beta Bloackers that have lots of sideffects and don't seem to work. Botox that works but is expensive and surgery to cut the sweat glands which does seem to offer a permanent solution.

I hope that eventualy they will offer him surgery as I'm sure that they'll put him through lots of different meds first that wont work or will only work for a short time. But there is a phycological problem about being withdrawn even agoraphobic at some points in his life, OCD and prone to anxiety and depression, even if they solve the sweating he will still have these and they will continue to effect him, although stopping the sweating would be a first step

Sorry for long story just needs

[lazyspice]

I don't post very often and I wish I had some useful suggestion to make but I couldn't read and not post. It sounds like you're both under a lot of stress and pressure trying to deal with this and I just wanted to offer a

Talking about it and having a better understanding can only help but I know sometimes you need to bounce ideas around on "neutral" ground and forums can be ideal for that. I'm sure someone will have some experience or knowledge to offer.

[Thomzo]

Wow, he is one lucky guy to have such a good support as you. A friend of mine has a similar problem but with her hands. She found some relief, albeit quite temporary, from acupuncture. I think you can often get treatment on the NHS.

It might be enough to get some temporary treatment just before a potentially stressful situation. That might help your OH's confidence. That combined with some training on how to handle stress (cognitive behaviour therapy?) might do the trick.

Good luck
Zoe

[noplasticbags]

I've not got any practical advice - the plan you have sounds like a good start, but wanted to send you kind thoughts and support. The doctor's really should pull out all the stops once the S word is used. Try to see the fact that he has opened up to you as a step forward, at least now you know what he is thinking, and can begin to get all the medical support he needs - it is a strain on you, but he was thinking these thoughts before, it's just that you didn't know about it (hope that makes sense).

Please let us know how you get on. If the NHS doesn't go at what you consider a fast enough pace, an MP's letter is always useful.

Thinking of you

[Jessiebean]

Hi there,
I sounds like you are doing it pretty tough. I think it will probably be a multipronged attack which will help the most. I have found that my anxiety and depression have responded well to a treatment plan with a few approaches. As Thomzo says Cognitive Behaviour Therapy will help and he really needs to face the fears head on to some extent, exercise and being social being some real key factors in overcoming anxiety and depression. Obviously this could be pretty confronting but (not being flippant here BTW) if he is looking at suicide as a real alternative then anything less than that has to be better right? Even if it is sweating from exercise or feeling exposed by being out and about. No-one gets any better with anxiety and depression by hiding, not exercising and staying indoors (exercise and sunlight are an effective part of a treatment plan). I know it is really hard for him but he needs to get out and start "doing stuff"and seeing that he can and it isn't going to be worse than dying, your mental strength gets stronger by doing not dwelling. I used to have panic attacks, social phobias etc but have mostly overcome them in this way (and having a supportive husband but he has you so that is covered- take care of yourself BTW). I don't know anything about hyperhidrosis but getting the anxiety under control will probably help and maybe there are medications etc that will make it better enough?

[ajs88]

Thank you so much for your support and really means a lot. I hadn't heard of Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. He signed up at the doctors yesterday and I'm also going to look into my works insurance scheme to see if they cover treatment encase the nhs doesn't. But in the mean time i think we just need to have some fun and enjoy ourselves, I'm starting this Sunday with a walk in Greenwich Park, may sound very ordinary but something weve never done despite living minutes away from it

But yes thank you again its so good to feel its a normalish problem and others understand

[Goldie]

I think the first great start is he has you and you sound very supportive. I have suffered similiar problems since my teens and due to my hiding away and not talking I became worse struggling with ocd and severe panic attacks that caused me to sweat dreadfully to the point I dare not go out. I think the cognitive behaviour therapy did help but i did not find my GP helpful so my husband took me to a qualified herbalist, I took the medicine he prescribed after a consultation for a long time as herbs take longer to work than drugs but they made such a difference to my life and now I feel so much better and stronger, but do try to go out and about throw yourself into whatever makes you feel an uplift, it's so easy to lose motivation feel tired and see no point to life, these dark holes are hard to get out of but you will do it and be happy you did. I teach now after going back to college, previously I could not even walk down the school drive because the anxiety was so bad and it became easier to stay at home were I felt safer. Again I have a great supportive husband and find my animals especially my cat and two goats life savers they always lift my heart. Try using lots of things around the home like Lavender oil and spray for pillows to help you relax, candles happy dvd's , I still watch a gardening dvd if I feel a bit down or the weathers dreary. You will get that feel good factor back again and it will feel so good. Good luck to you both.

[Mrs H]

Wow, hunni sending u huge hugs and letting u know we r all thinking of you and r all here for you.I have no experience of your hubbys condition however my oh suffered from depression for a long time before seeking help. Opening up to you is a really huge step for him but for you mentally its exhausting as he admitted he has thought of suicide. When we hit this point I felt a lot of pressure and fear, the what ifs? For me were huge. But it put me in a better position to help and encourage him. Knowing how he was feeling made it so much easier.
Make sure and look after yourself and your own feelings and you will be ready charged to help and support ur oh. He is very lucky to have you and for him to open up to you like that shows what a strong and trusting relationship u have. Be very proud of yourselves and move forward together. Keep us updated on how he gets on. Sending you both love n hugs. Xx

[darkbrowneggs]

It sounds as though you have a wonderful strong partnership and that he has a good support in you.

This little booklet might be worth reading through - it is only 1p from Amazon (plusp&p) and this one also

Sending good thoughts
Sue

[ajs88]

Thank you so much for all of your support I really am cherishing it, ive ordered both of the booklets and am very thankful for you suggesting ones that are so cheap

[battybird]

Wish I could add something new, but cannot except and hope life improves soon!

[that_sarah_girl]

I don't know anything about hyperhidrosis, but my parner has bipolar disorder (manic depression) which sometimes causes anxiety too.

There's no easy answer or cure, but you're doing brilliantly just by being there for him and supporting him. The best thing you can do is go along to the doctors and learn as much as you can about his condition so that you can recognise any signs that he is about to go through a low point or that his medication may not be working properly or whetever...you may be able to recognise better than he can when he's "not right".
I know it's a bad sign if I come home and he has cleaned the house from top to bottom, done the shopping, taken the kids out, and cooked a 3-course meal because it means he's in his manic state which usually comes right before the depression. I have to practically force him to stop for a minute to have a cup of tea!

Also, remember to take time out to look after yourself. It's not easy dealing with something like this on your own. Even if he has said he doesn't want any of your family knowing, maybe you have a mutual friend you could talk with? It might help to take the pressure off you if someone who knows him knows what you are going through.

[Thomzo]

Even if he has said he doesn't want any of your family knowing, maybe you have a mutual friend you could talk with? It might help to take the pressure off you if someone who knows him knows what you are going through.

I agree. Although my friend has found life an awful lot easier by telling her close friends about her problem. We can be supportive and she doesn't need to try to hide it around us which means, ironically, that the stress is removed so she doesn't have the symptoms nearly so much.

Zoe