Weddings - Kids or no?!!!

[Nomada]

I dunno, maybe they can't afford a kids entertainer, I guess that could be quite expensive.

They're getting married in an Abbey and paying for all the guests to stay in a Castle overnight! So I'm not sure if this would break the bank

Oh my god! Ok then!

[growingthings]

Oh how the other half live!

[red]

Maybe you need to take a step back and consider who's wedding it is. Then think again about who's being selfish by getting in a strop.

It's very simple. Respect the couple's wishes.

yes absolutely.. although I personally dont understand it.. it is their day, and up to them. however, the B&G (and their parents!) do need to understand this might mean some people wont come.

[Green Aura]

Sorry in advance - small tant coming.

I don't care if weddings, birthdays or any other event is child-free or not. It's the prerogative of the people who's party it is. (Well that's not wholly true - I'm not sure I want to go somewhere my kids aren't welcome).

What really p*sses me off is when they invite your whole family, but not your kids, then get angry because you can't/won't go because they've invited your whole family - so no babysitter.

This happened to me at a golden wedding. My aunt was livid because I wouldn't go. Her answer was for OH to stay at home and look after the gal. Not much of an incentive to go either.

I felt sorry for her grandchildren, only a couple of years older than mine - they were the only kids there.

[red]

Child free weddings seem more common recently,but I dont understand that at all! I think of weddings as a family affair, and children are what make a family IMO. Each to their own I suspose, but if I was in a similar situation I would not go if my kids were not welcome because I have not yet spent a night away from them and have no desire to do so yet! I am planning to get married next year and I will be inviting lots of kids, and providing a bouncy castle or something to entertain them. My wedding will be very much family centred, as that is the most important thing in my life.

I agree with you.
When I got married - it ws a cheap affair, there were a fair few kids and they were invited to the ceremony, the reception (sarnies and chocolate cake on a river trip) and to the ceilidh.

I didn't want that thing when people are dancing and you cant cos a toddler has wandered into the middle right at the wrong moment... so we set upa 'play area' in the village hall in the lobby area.
I provided lots of scrap paper and coloured pencils, toys and we set up a table football game

it was easy to keep the kids to this area.. and they were always well attended by adults as men were always playing the table football....

[Masco&Bongo]

We had about 20 kids at my wedding.... if we'd said no kids, the majority of the family wouldn't have been able to attend. They'd come about 150 miles for the wedding, all the family was there (so no family for babysitting) and I thought that it wouldn't be fair to not have kids. We (still) don't have any kids of our own...

We ensured that there were decent changing facilities, that baby food could be heated, and that children's meals or half portion adult ones were available

We made up 'party bags' for the kids - a colouring book and some pencils/crayons, a little hand-held puzzle game and they had jelly beans for wedding favours instead of sugared almonds.

The youngest child we had there was about 6 months old, and we had no issues at all with any of the kids. We have some lovely photos of loads of the kids dancing with my mum and sister at the reception

[Clara]

Weddings not my thing - kids, my kids definitely are .... so I'd know what I'd say, but that's not that helpful!!!

Anyhow what I wanted to say was make sure if you go without them for the whole weekend then make sure you have a plan re BFing - otherwise you'll be busting out your dress and in pain after a couple of days!!

[growingthings]

Anyhow what I wanted to say was make sure if you go without them for the whole weekend then make sure you have a plan re BFing - otherwise you'll be busting out your dress and in pain after a couple of days!!

That was my biggest concern, Smallest will have only just turned 1 by the time we go and I haven't had a night away from her since she was born, and I'm not sure that someone else should make that decision for me, if you know what I mean? I'm definately going with the kids who will either be there or with my parents. If we can't manage that then I guess I will resign myself that we're not going.

I'm off out for a girly drink and a chat with another friend who is going (who doesn't have children) so I'll see how she thinks they'll react to finding out that probably everyone that they've invited with kids will want to bring them! Norfolk to Ireland is a long way after all!

Lorna x

[mrsflibble]

had this problem last year with a friend of mine's wedding. Basically although she had family children there, she didnt want friend's children there as they were paying for a sit-down meal for everyone.

the invite was also ambivalent. "The Olivers" I took to mean all 3 of us. turns out that no, "The Olivers" only referred to hubby and myself. We ended up leaving sophie at short notice with my mum for the weekend. Soph had a fab time but we both felt like we'd had an arm lopped off.

another friend is marrying as soon as her divorce is finalised (loooong story, escape from a violent relationship, nastyness, finding love completely by accident with one of her best friends...) and she has said all kids are totally welcome, the more the merrier, please borrow some if you dont have any 'cos she loves children and wants loads there to celebrate....

[flyonthewall]

I think it's up to the couple to decide - but they also have to understand if some people cannot get babysitters or don't want to leave the kids. If you're getting married, it's your day, fair play to you to decide how you want it. Not everyone is a big fan of kids and it doesn't make those people selfish or bad people - personal preference. When my sister got married, the service was just close friends and family, no kids (to avoid the screaming through vows scenario) and then the evening do was a family thing which I thought was a nice compromise. Anyone who could not get a babysitter was then at least able to come to the reception.