Selfsufficientish.com

Said by my husband to his aunt
'Have a seat, I'm sure there's one that'll hold you.'

These are all fabulous, wish I could add one but I don't know any so will watch this thread avidly

cooks insult well you're about as sharp as a blunt knife

I'm sure there is someone for everyone, yours just died at birth

no your bum doesn't look big in that dress, its just the room shrinking

ofcourde I think your are intelligent sophisticated and witty, everyon has to have a some fantasies.

ofcourse I thinlk your handsome, now where are my contacts

excuse me I need some more space could you please move your ego a few miles to the left

no your breathe doesn't smell, its time for all plants to go into hibernation.

Claim: "I have the body of a god!!"

Riposte: "Pity it's Buddah"

Savoyard

Speaking as an outsider what do you think of the human race.

We are all entitled to be stupid but there is no need to abuse the privilege.

Your so funny that just made my piles smile.

Apparantly we lose 10,000 brain cells a day, you must of been born brain dead.

No your not a complete idiot, but keep trying I'm sure you will get there in the end

pelmetman wrote:
No your not a complete idiot, but keep trying I'm sure you will get there in the end

Or... Your not a complete idiot... some parts are missing

In response to someone who has just insulted you, eg: "You've got a big nose"

At least I can have an operation to correct my nose, but no surgery in the world will ever stop you being a complete ar5eh0le.

Zoe

quite good to say to someone who is good at pretending to work, while creating more paperwork, sloping off to "discussions" etc - "you're very officious".

Sounds like efficient. Means the opposite.

And Churchill's spat with Lady Astor - "Winston, I do believe you're drunk", "I may be drunk, but you're ugly, and tomorrow I'll be sober".

On leaving my last job.

"Over the years. i've come to consider you as.... someone i worked with.

There's not enough room in here for my a55 AND your ego

They conceal information from people like you in books

mamos

God made you ugly then hit you in the face with a shovel

mamos

I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works!

mamos

To someone you don't like................oh ! your just in time to be too late !

They said you weren't fit to eat with pigs. I wasn't having that - I said you were.