Selfsufficientish.com

It was sugested that i start this thred because i seem to be on the reciving end of some of the stupidest sugestions and coments regarding my "ish" life.

I will start us off with my most recent ones.

1, You can't keep a cokerill on a housing estate.
2, You will have to fox proof the chicken run.
3,You will have to lock the chickens away at night.
4, You can feed them just on kitchen scraps you know, i will save some for you.
5, You will have to dig that over before you plant anything in there.
6, Isn't it easer to get a bag at the shop insted of taking one with you.
7, I have wanted to grow my own veg for years, i have just flaged the whole of my garden over.
8, Isn't it easer to go to the supermarket for your veg
9, How do you get the mud off your spuds.
10, You should get a gote because i don't drink cows millk.

Eve

11. What about the insects on your veg from the garden?
12. (a personal one to me) You're so short! (I'm 4' 9" - but dont they think after 24 years that I know this already!!)

13. Hey Blondie! (duh)!

I moved into a house with edge to edge lawn (and thought, 'blank canvass'). Due to working full-time back then it took me two years before I had my front garden as I wanted it; the only grass being paths between my fruit bushes and herbs. I felt so happy and so incredibly proud. At which point my father ( ) said,

14. "Why don't you pull it all out and grass it over? It'll be much easier for you."
and
15. "You shouldn't be digging the garden. It's much too hard for you. Tell 'Im to dig it." (So while Richard's doing what I enjoy, should I be playing darts then? )

More stupid things my parents came up with:-

16. "I emptied my compost bins and do you know what I found in there? Loads of slugs and snails. Hundreds of 'em. So I fed 'em to the fish. I don't want snails in my compost bin"

Of course, in answer to 16. I pointed out that's a great way to thank them for turning their kitchen waste into compost. There they are, eating peelings and pooing compost and their reward is being fed to the Koi. The reply?

17. "I don't want to be putting my hand in snail sh!t"

As their attempts at composting were unsurprisingly not a great success, I suggested they get in touch with the local Friends of the Earth rep. to inquire about (or perhaps start) a local garden waste collection. They did.

18. "Do you know what she said? She said, 'Why don't you leave all the leaves on the garden and they'll rot away there.' Stupid woman."

*tuts very loudly* you got me talking about my parents again, didn't you?

(Edited to make it make a bit more sense)

24).....long winded i'm afraid......took a newborn baby for a walk....he was asleep so i had a look in a few shops. came across a couple and they oooh and arrrh'd over the baby, and asked the age (11days). the bloke(it has to be doesnt it ) said....'so his eyes arent open yet?'......i said.....'he's asleep'

Can I have another go - cos I just remembered it? perhaps not stupid really - but I found it SOO funny - 25.
RAF were doing manoevres from our local airport - stunning but very noisy all day. I commented the next day that there had been tornadoes out over Prestwick - to which my neighbour replied ' Yes! I can't be doing with this foreign weather '

Just remamberd another, this one has had the family giggling for about 30 years,

26, My Dad asked my mum when she was going shopping if she would pick him up 2lb of nails, she replyed " will they be heavy?"

We still teease her with it, meen i know but funny none the less.

Eve

27. "You can't buy land if you're poor."
Said to me 3 weeks before I closed on my new 5 acres, while working minimum wage and paying for my own insurance. Ha!

Ellendra wrote:27. "You can't buy land if you're poor."
Said to me 3 weeks before I closed on my new 5 acres, while working minimum wage and paying for my own insurance. Ha!

Well done! I've just had a quick search (well, OK, another quick search - I'm always doing it) of land for sale around where I live and having done some rough calculations, I have found that to buy 2.25 acres with the necessary 100% mortgage, we would have to increase our income 14-fold! Ah well. I can still dream

Hope you have fun

27. Friend commenting on my allotment: "I dont know how you find the time" me in response: "well I dont wash my skirting boards every week."

"I don't know how you stand the quiet, and the hot weather every day" lady on Holiday at the gite.

Visitors to the Craft Village constantly ask "do you live here?" and when the response is affirmative they then ask "so you've got toilets and hot water?"!!!!

We're on the north coast of Scotland - not Mars.

Observing our purchases as they went thru the till the shop assistant said "I've never had ginger beer. What does it taste of?"
I went to the same lad 3 days ago and asked when they were getting more pumpkins as those in the "halloween box" were all a bit manky. He told me that they sometimes have others on the shelves that were edible!

"How can you not watch television?" is right up there on the top ten stupid things.

(sorry no idea what number)

we bought an old stone french farmhouse, and despite having done some major works on it to get the roof done, plumbing and sanitation in place, new floors and ceilings, and decorating - and having created (though I say so myself) a lovely authentic looking rustic country kitchen effect - we do get LOTS of people say ' oh - well it'll be nice when it's finished'.

One of the classics being - one visitor who toed our authentic stone flag floor which runs throughout the kitchen, pantry, hall and bottom of the stairs - ' well at least you can get on with doing a proper floor now'.


AARRRGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.