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Breast feeding, socially unacceptable or not?
Posted: Sun Nov 15, 2009 5:30 pm
by Helsbells
Had a big argument with my husband today about whether breast feeding is socially acceptable or not.
I think it is or at least should be and that it is only frowned upon because breasts have been so over sexualised people are surprised when they are used for something else.
I said that women ought to be able to feel comfortable to openly breast feed and shouldnt have to be descreet about it.
Basically out views were:
Him - Breast feeding is still socially unacceptable so it is better for women to be descreet when breast feeding,
Me - If breast feeding is still socially unacceptable then women should openly do it in order for it to become socially acceptable.
What are your thoughts?
Re: Breast feeding, socially unacceptable or not?
Posted: Sun Nov 15, 2009 5:52 pm
by Bonniegirl
I agree with you, it is a natural thing to do with them, beleive it or not they aren't mens playthings....

well not all the time!
Women should be able to feed their babies where ever they are, after all the rest of us eat and I've seen worse things at a dinner table than a women getting her boobies out.
Trouble is people get all embarrased and start complaining and then that makes for a bad experience for mother and baby, so if say a restuarant(for example) doesn't like it then they should at least have somewhere nice for you go and feed your baby and that to me wouldn't be the stock room!
Of course if I had ever been any good at breast feeding I think I might have been a tad naughty in unwelcoming places, hungry babies cry don't they and I can guarantee that crying babies would be more of a distraction than a breast feeding mum

I'd have said in loud voice 'Ok so what's it to be? Crying baby or titties out? Your choice people!
Re: Breast feeding, socially unacceptable or not?
Posted: Sun Nov 15, 2009 6:01 pm
by red
Helsbells - I agree entirely with you.
Re: Breast feeding, socially unacceptable or not?
Posted: Sun Nov 15, 2009 6:07 pm
by lovelygreenleaves
I think breast feeding in public is totally acceptable. However, I would be discreet. This does not mean going into a different room or hiding what you are doing, just not showing your breast. This is only because I wouldn't show mine to the public under any other circumstances and also I don't really want to look at other people's. I think it's lovely seeing a woman breast feeding if she's being discreet with a shawl or cover (easier said than done, I know!)
Re: Breast feeding, socially unacceptable or not?
Posted: Sun Nov 15, 2009 7:54 pm
by Durgan
Most of the women I know are not comfortable flipping their tit out in public. Even at home amongst friends women sort of hide the little monster feeding on the breast.
Mostly the debate is of academic interest only and is of importance only to those who have to breast feed, which is usually only done at home.
Re: Breast feeding, socially unacceptable or not?
Posted: Sun Nov 15, 2009 8:17 pm
by snapdragon
red wrote:Helsbells - I agree entirely with you.
Me too, it's about time that what is allowed to be shown as excitement for sad males in newspapers and on hoardings is no longer treated as shameful when used for it's proper purpose.
Re: Breast feeding, socially unacceptable or not?
Posted: Sun Nov 15, 2009 8:19 pm
by Mr and Mrs luvpie
Bonniegirl wrote: 'Ok so what's it to be? Crying baby or titties out? Your choice people!
I so plan to have the guts to use this quote next year!!
I do think it's sad that lots of people are made to feel uncomfortable about feeding in public, with my ex in laws, I was forced to sit in their bathroom as they did not agree with me feeding the baby

their beliefs were also firmly ingrained into my then husband who tought it was disgusting, tits are made for page 3 in that family and nothing else! With son 3 I did feed in private, but that was purely because he/we had such a tough time over it we/i needed to be able to sit alone, we struggled with it for about 4 months, but I know that if I'd fed infront of people I would have stopped a lot earlier as every feed I felt such a failure. I don't think it helped that even whilst in hospital I was pushed toward bottle feeding him, I'd never had problems feeding the older ones, so coming across a problem I didn't know how to cope with it, since I've actually looked into what I could have done and so will be more confident if faced with the same situation again.
New boy who is here at Christmas, best do better I tell ya, because I don't intend to be shut in a room alone for any reason this time. But I do think that it takes a strong woman sometimes to feed in public.
Sarahx
Re: Breast feeding, socially unacceptable or not?
Posted: Sun Nov 15, 2009 9:10 pm
by Fizzy Izzy
Helsbells I completely agree with you. However, as a currently BFing mum myself, I don't feel comfortable with other people seeing my breasts. I carry a nursing cover and use it most of the time when I'm out. I don't think that mums should have to use one and I don't think they have to try and hide all their skin or their nipple or whatever. I think women have a right to BF in whatever way is comfortable for them and their baby (some babies don't like a cover on their head). In fact, I would leap to the defense of anyone challenged on this. But my personal preference is to cover.
Durgan wrote:Most of the women I know are not comfortable flipping their tit out in public. Even at home amongst friends women sort of hide the little monster feeding on the breast.
Mostly the debate is of academic interest only and is of importance only to those who have to breast feed, which is usually only done at home.
I don't agree with this. I don't use my cover when I'm at home or among friends. I don't think BFing is mostly (or should be) at home. The current recommendation is to BF exclusively for six months and for breastmilk to continue to be the most important part of the diet up to a year old. WHO recommends a minimum BFing time of two years. Why should women stay home for two years because they choose to BF?!! I BF anywhere and everywhere

Re: Breast feeding, socially unacceptable or not?
Posted: Sun Nov 15, 2009 9:22 pm
by Thomzo
Exactly, crying baby or a woman sat discretely in a corner with a contented baby. I know which I prefer (and I don't have any children).
Time to change people's attitudes I think.
Zoe
Re: Breast feeding, socially unacceptable or not?
Posted: Sun Nov 15, 2009 10:13 pm
by Helsbells
Thanks all for your honest responses, however I am still intregued as to why generally women feel they should cover up and hide themselves when they are breastfeeding, why is this?
Re: Breast feeding, socially unacceptable or not?
Posted: Sun Nov 15, 2009 10:19 pm
by Bonniegirl
Breastfeeding aside, would you bare your breasts in public? When I was young and they pointed up in the air I would go topless on topless beaches abroad where no-one knew me a no pics allowed

, but I wouldn't fancy letting them out of the bag these days.
It's part of your body you would only share in private, so although they are doing what they are designed for it's still yer private parts!

Re: Breast feeding, socially unacceptable or not?
Posted: Sun Nov 15, 2009 10:52 pm
by lovelygreenleaves
Bonniegirl wrote:Breastfeeding aside, would you bare your breasts in public? When I was young and they pointed up in the air I would go topless on topless beaches abroad where no-one knew me a no pics allowed

, but I wouldn't fancy letting them out of the bag these days.
It's part of your body you would only share in private, so although they are doing what they are designed for it's still yer private parts!

That's what I think, it's not shameful at all, but some things are just private. I think it's perfectly acceptable to breastfeed in public if your breast is covered (as much as you can!) I appreciate that this is difficult for some babies and I'm not sure what the answer is in those situations

Re: Breast feeding, socially unacceptable or not?
Posted: Mon Nov 16, 2009 5:46 am
by Minnesota
in a day where there are almost no "private parts" anymore (anybody watch TV lately ?)
this is a strange argument. this really shouldn't be a problem. those who complain about this really need to focus their energy on something important.
Re: Breast feeding, socially unacceptable or not?
Posted: Mon Nov 16, 2009 6:28 am
by Millymollymandy
TV and real life are quite different as most of us are not leading a 'celebrity' lifestyle. I don't come across women with their breasts out in my day to day life (exception being beaches in places like Australia and occasionally, Greece - not places I go to very often!!!). Anyone I've ever seen breastfeeding has done it discreetly which is fine by me - but I don't want to see it up close and personal or be made to feel uncomfortable any more than I want to see some woman (or man) get her bits out for any other purpose - in my real life.
Re: Breast feeding, socially unacceptable or not?
Posted: Mon Nov 16, 2009 6:47 am
by Jessiebean
Hmm I am perplexed by people who think breastfeeding in public is off... If a baby is hungry it needs to be fed and growing our babies is after all what the human race is supposed to do!
My babies have been fed when they are hungry wherever that may be as long as I am physically comfortble, parenting rooms are good as long as they don't smell like dirty nappies and have a comfortable nursing cubicle/spot but otherwise whereever I am that is where bub is fed. I have never been a "tops off and nipples ahoy!" kind of breastfeeder but my discretion is simply because I don't want the boobies out and roaming.. not out of respect for anyone else's perverted views on breastfeeding being indecent!