I'm Back - long self indulgent rant alert
- bonniethomas06
- A selfsufficientish Regular
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- Joined: Wed Oct 17, 2007 10:24 am
- Location: Wiltshire, UK
I'm Back - long self indulgent rant alert
Well, it's been a long time since I have been on this forum and I feel I owe a bit of an explanation. It's been a rocky year - after finally finding somewhere that I could live out my selfsufficientish dreams (field, accomodating landlady, woodburner etc) - I moved out!
This was gutting, but if I am honest, it all got too much. In the beginning, it was very much a joint enterprise, and my then partner was keen on weeding, mowing, livestock and caught up in it all.
This coincided with a drastic cut in income for us both - fine with me, as I was happy to do the selfsufficient thing, but it caused a lot of arguements - he was not really up for 'budgeting' .At the same time his enthusiasm waned and I often found myself outside strimming half an acre of nettles, while he sat inside blasting aliens to bits on his Xbox thingy even though it was a rare bright, sunny day . The patch just grew and grew and it became so disheartening just watching my lovely neat veg get subsumed by nettles and everything got out of control.
I can't blame it all on him - if I am honest, the life of simple pleasures began to wear a little thin, and I started to look longingly at new clothes and clean, presentable houses with envy. I discovered that it is one thing to aspire to selfsufficiency when you have the choice - but when you are struggling to pay for heating and a bottle of wine (food that isn't pork, eggs or vegetables) and your house is permenantly cold, because the hand-knitted socks aren't keeping your feet warm enough - it becomes a bit of a drag.
Anyhoo - long story short, old Partner is long gone, and new one is WONDERFUL and willing to learn how to grow veg. I have had a break from all things selfsufficient, and spent six months living with lovely new partner in his lovely, clean, dry, warm, modern house - doing normal people things like going out for dinner and to the cinema.
BUT - this year, as the buds started to swell on the trees and I can feel the ground trembling with the vibration of new life, IT CAME BACK! Suddenly, I was desperate for the smell of tomato leaves on my fingers and the sight of seedlings breaking through the soil. So I put my name down for an allotment - and two weeks later, one came up! It is in quite good condition - not too overgrown. We have a shed in mind and are going to make some raised beds to make it more manageable. The plot is really well organised, with a lovely 'clubhouse' that even has a log burner and loos!
I still make bread by hand, I still knit, and I still crave a cottage with a manageable garden. Maybe even a couple of chooks again one day. I still would never be a rampant consumer ever again and still buy all my clothes in charity shops. I have never been much of a one for balance, but hopefully this time I will get it right!
If you are still awake, thanks for reading
This was gutting, but if I am honest, it all got too much. In the beginning, it was very much a joint enterprise, and my then partner was keen on weeding, mowing, livestock and caught up in it all.
This coincided with a drastic cut in income for us both - fine with me, as I was happy to do the selfsufficient thing, but it caused a lot of arguements - he was not really up for 'budgeting' .At the same time his enthusiasm waned and I often found myself outside strimming half an acre of nettles, while he sat inside blasting aliens to bits on his Xbox thingy even though it was a rare bright, sunny day . The patch just grew and grew and it became so disheartening just watching my lovely neat veg get subsumed by nettles and everything got out of control.
I can't blame it all on him - if I am honest, the life of simple pleasures began to wear a little thin, and I started to look longingly at new clothes and clean, presentable houses with envy. I discovered that it is one thing to aspire to selfsufficiency when you have the choice - but when you are struggling to pay for heating and a bottle of wine (food that isn't pork, eggs or vegetables) and your house is permenantly cold, because the hand-knitted socks aren't keeping your feet warm enough - it becomes a bit of a drag.
Anyhoo - long story short, old Partner is long gone, and new one is WONDERFUL and willing to learn how to grow veg. I have had a break from all things selfsufficient, and spent six months living with lovely new partner in his lovely, clean, dry, warm, modern house - doing normal people things like going out for dinner and to the cinema.
BUT - this year, as the buds started to swell on the trees and I can feel the ground trembling with the vibration of new life, IT CAME BACK! Suddenly, I was desperate for the smell of tomato leaves on my fingers and the sight of seedlings breaking through the soil. So I put my name down for an allotment - and two weeks later, one came up! It is in quite good condition - not too overgrown. We have a shed in mind and are going to make some raised beds to make it more manageable. The plot is really well organised, with a lovely 'clubhouse' that even has a log burner and loos!
I still make bread by hand, I still knit, and I still crave a cottage with a manageable garden. Maybe even a couple of chooks again one day. I still would never be a rampant consumer ever again and still buy all my clothes in charity shops. I have never been much of a one for balance, but hopefully this time I will get it right!
If you are still awake, thanks for reading
"A pretty face is fine, but what a farmer needs is a woman who can carry a pig under each arm"
My blog...
http://www.theparttimesmallholder.blogspot.com
My blog...
http://www.theparttimesmallholder.blogspot.com
- Annemieke
- Barbara Good
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Re: I'm Back - long self indulgent rant alert
Interesting stuff Bonnie, and yes, I enjoyed reading it. Sometimes a compromise (and a new partner) is best.
Love, Annemieke: 3 times married, 3rd time lucky!
Love, Annemieke: 3 times married, 3rd time lucky!
Grow no evil, cook no evil, eat no evil!
And if you are interested in food and/or health, have a look at my website:
http://ThoughtforFood-aw.blogspot.com.
Love, Annemieke
And if you are interested in food and/or health, have a look at my website:
http://ThoughtforFood-aw.blogspot.com.
Love, Annemieke
Re: I'm Back - long self indulgent rant alert
Yes - nothing wrong with compromise. I really admire those who can do the self sufficient lifestyle but I do like my mod cons (well some of them). Enjoy life - it sounds like it is good now :)
best wishes
JuzaMum
best wishes
JuzaMum
Happiness isn't having what you want but wanting what you have.
- boboff
- A selfsufficientish Regular
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- Joined: Mon Jun 08, 2009 9:29 am
- Location: Gunnislake,Cornwall
Re: I'm Back - long self indulgent rant alert
That is lovely news, I am so glad things have worked out for you.
My little annoyance is Bubble Whitch Saga on Facebook, the OH plays that when I come in muddy!
My little annoyance is Bubble Whitch Saga on Facebook, the OH plays that when I come in muddy!
http://boboffs.blogspot.co.uk/Millymollymandy wrote:Bloody smilies, always being used. I hate them and they should be banned.
No I won't use a smiley because I've decided to turn into Boboff, as he's turned all nice all of a sudden. Grumble grumble.
Re: I'm Back - long self indulgent rant alert
Welcome back Bonnie,pleased to hear things are working out.Recent times have shown me how any doing the self reliance thing with acres is one thing,doing it in an urban situation is far more challenging and (am I making a virtue out of a necessity?) a lot more rewarding.
Anyhow,it'll be good to see you posting again.........if you're not too loved up!
Anyhow,it'll be good to see you posting again.........if you're not too loved up!
- Mrs Moustoir
- Living the good life
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- Location: Worcestershire, but my heart's in Brittany
Re: I'm Back - long self indulgent rant alert
Welcome back Bonnie - nice to see you posting again
- Thurston Garden
- A selfsufficientish Regular
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Re: I'm Back - long self indulgent rant alert
Glad things have worked out for the better in the end Bonnie! My situation was very similar except mine was not playing on an xbox but playing with other humans. But you got a new man and I got a straw hoose
My fingers too will smell of tomato leaves this year and like you I can't wait!
My fingers too will smell of tomato leaves this year and like you I can't wait!
Thurston Garden.
http://www.thurstongarden.wordpress.com
Greenbelt is a Tory Policy and the Labour Party intends to build on it. (John Prescott)
http://www.thurstongarden.wordpress.com
Greenbelt is a Tory Policy and the Labour Party intends to build on it. (John Prescott)
- bonniethomas06
- A selfsufficientish Regular
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- Joined: Wed Oct 17, 2007 10:24 am
- Location: Wiltshire, UK
Re: I'm Back - long self indulgent rant alert
Oh no TG, that's probably more annoying in fairness! And I am sure she would rue the day if she saw your lovely shiny new house
"A pretty face is fine, but what a farmer needs is a woman who can carry a pig under each arm"
My blog...
http://www.theparttimesmallholder.blogspot.com
My blog...
http://www.theparttimesmallholder.blogspot.com
Re: I'm Back - long self indulgent rant alert
It’s only fun if you don’t have to do it – otherwise it is just another job.
Pleased that you are feeling the vibration; follow that thread and you’ll realise that it is the sideways glance at the hidden things, the feeling for things, the childish excitement, all these are the truth in life.
That is enough of a hint; for to write about it is not to know it…
Pleased that you are feeling the vibration; follow that thread and you’ll realise that it is the sideways glance at the hidden things, the feeling for things, the childish excitement, all these are the truth in life.
That is enough of a hint; for to write about it is not to know it…
- Millymollymandy
- A selfsufficientish Regular
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- Location: Brittany, France
Re: I'm Back - long self indulgent rant alert
I'm glad everything worked out for you in the end, Bonnie. I wondered what happened with the floristry business.
So pleased that your Ishness has come back and an allotment sounds like a perfect compromise. Good luck with it!
So pleased that your Ishness has come back and an allotment sounds like a perfect compromise. Good luck with it!
http://chateaumoorhen.blogspot.com/boboff wrote:Oh and just for MMM, (thanks)
- Helsbells
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Re: I'm Back - long self indulgent rant alert
Welcome back, sometimes you need to have time away to realise what you really want, glad you are happy now x
- bonniethomas06
- A selfsufficientish Regular
- Posts: 1246
- Joined: Wed Oct 17, 2007 10:24 am
- Location: Wiltshire, UK
Re: I'm Back - long self indulgent rant alert
Thanks all - MMM I am doing odd weddings for friends and help out at a local forist a few times a month, so still learning and trying to build a portfolio. I don't ever think it is going to make me big bucks and at the moment I can't afford to give up my dull office job to give it a fair go, but figure building the skills for the future is a good place to start.
"A pretty face is fine, but what a farmer needs is a woman who can carry a pig under each arm"
My blog...
http://www.theparttimesmallholder.blogspot.com
My blog...
http://www.theparttimesmallholder.blogspot.com
- Flo
- A selfsufficientish Regular
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- Joined: Sun Mar 30, 2008 10:12 am
- Location: Northumberland
Re: I'm Back - long self indulgent rant alert
Building a little pot of money to give you a fall back when you come to try again is also a good idea.
I'm a farmer's daughter and know that self sufficiency requires all the family to be onside. Plus support from friends and neighbours at times.
I'm a farmer's daughter and know that self sufficiency requires all the family to be onside. Plus support from friends and neighbours at times.
- boboff
- A selfsufficientish Regular
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- Location: Gunnislake,Cornwall
Re: I'm Back - long self indulgent rant alert
Flo has that spot on!
Trouble I am more management, so my aspirations for self sufficiency require workers, which aren't keen!
Still it will just take longer!
Trouble I am more management, so my aspirations for self sufficiency require workers, which aren't keen!
Still it will just take longer!
http://boboffs.blogspot.co.uk/Millymollymandy wrote:Bloody smilies, always being used. I hate them and they should be banned.
No I won't use a smiley because I've decided to turn into Boboff, as he's turned all nice all of a sudden. Grumble grumble.