Breast feeding, socially unacceptable or not?

Any issues with what nappies to buy, home schooling etc. In fact if you have kids or are planning to this is the section for you.
Post Reply
User avatar
citizentwiglet
A selfsufficientish Regular
A selfsufficientish Regular
Posts: 848
Joined: Fri Jan 04, 2008 3:02 pm
Location: Just outside Glasgow

Re: Breast feeding, socially unacceptable or not?

Post: # 181280Post citizentwiglet
Wed Dec 23, 2009 1:40 am

Helsbells wrote:I think that this is the differance between myself and my husband (origional start of the thread)
I grew up surrounded by women breast feeding so it was something that seemed normal to me, no one made a big show of it, but also no one hid themselves under a towel of cushion (which was why I found this so odd).
Yet my husband did not see women breast feeding at all. So to him it seems totally alien.
I will just have to wait and see how I feel when the time comes.
You were a girl, though. Do you think a boy might have been excluded from such activities, back in the day? (Not the Dark Ages, obviously, but you know what I mean.....). Would a boy, or a man, have been given a silent cue to leave the room / look the other way? I've been talking to a few of my friends about this very topic and whereas most girls have recollections of being around breastfeeding, only one out of fifteen of my male friends remembered being around it, even when they had younger siblings who were breastfed. Was it OK for girls to see it, but not for boys, I wonder?
I took my dog to play frisbee. She was useless. I think I need a flatter dog.

http://reflectionsinraindrops.wordpress.com - My blog
http://www.bothwellscarecrowfestival.co.uk - Scarecrow Festival
http://bothwellcommunitygarden.wordpress.com - Community Garden

tiggy
Barbara Good
Barbara Good
Posts: 123
Joined: Mon Mar 31, 2008 8:39 pm
Location: worcester

Re: Breast feeding, socially unacceptable or not?

Post: # 181466Post tiggy
Thu Dec 24, 2009 6:58 pm

As a society we need to get real and stop getting in a frenzy over purely natural things.I chose to be child free but would prefer to be where a contented baby is quietly feeding as nature intended rather than cope with an unhappy screamer.

User avatar
Helsbells
A selfsufficientish Regular
A selfsufficientish Regular
Posts: 907
Joined: Thu Mar 15, 2007 2:32 pm
Location: Berkshire
Contact:

Re: Breast feeding, socially unacceptable or not?

Post: # 181472Post Helsbells
Thu Dec 24, 2009 8:13 pm

Quite possibly citizen twiglet, although he is the youngest of two boys, and comes from a very conservative family.

User avatar
naomij
margo - newbie
margo - newbie
Posts: 21
Joined: Sun May 09, 2010 8:43 pm
latitude: 51
longitude: 1
Location: Kent, UK

Re: Breast feeding, socially unacceptable or not?

Post: # 195766Post naomij
Sun May 09, 2010 10:59 pm

I love bfing and do it wherever and whenever :sunny:

When my baby was new I sometimes felt a little shy but that was because it was more of a faff to latch her on, so I felt a bit self-conscious and clumsy! Now she's 1 she sorts herself out, feeds in the sling/on my lap/standing next to me whilst I'm sitting on the floor :dontknow:

I also always think...would you rather see her bfing, or hear her screaming...

I do think our society has a long way to go on this one.

RobHed
Barbara Good
Barbara Good
Posts: 121
Joined: Sun May 17, 2009 9:06 pm
latitude: 51.4796
longitude: -2.5948
Location: Bristol, England
Contact:

Re: Breast feeding, socially unacceptable or not?

Post: # 195862Post RobHed
Mon May 10, 2010 11:17 am

What sort of society are we that does not allow mothers to naturally feed their young in public ? I think the sight is one of the most beautiful things and whilst it may not be a good thing to just whip out wherever (in church during a service may cause a few problems or at a funeral....lol), what is the problem here ? Perhaps this harks back to our Victorian past.....

Rob (I'm a chap :wave: )
Mad Dad to Evie aged 11 and hubby to Siân

madabouthens
Jerry - Bit higher than newbie
Jerry - Bit higher than newbie
Posts: 38
Joined: Mon Jun 01, 2009 9:41 pm
Location: Sunny North Wales

Re: Breast feeding, socially unacceptable or not?

Post: # 195885Post madabouthens
Mon May 10, 2010 1:06 pm

I'm another chap and just about all the Mum's in our Church breastfeed. I think it should be the norm, anywhere and everywhere. Better for the Baby, better for the Mum and better for the Planet we share with others. :sunny:

Tony

RobHed
Barbara Good
Barbara Good
Posts: 121
Joined: Sun May 17, 2009 9:06 pm
latitude: 51.4796
longitude: -2.5948
Location: Bristol, England
Contact:

Re: Breast feeding, socially unacceptable or not?

Post: # 195889Post RobHed
Mon May 10, 2010 1:19 pm

madabouthens wrote:I'm another chap and just about all the Mum's in our Church breastfeed. I think it should be the norm, anywhere and everywhere. Better for the Baby, better for the Mum and better for the Planet we share with others. :sunny:

Tony

That is most enlightened of your church and good to hear, Tony.....! :cheers:
Mad Dad to Evie aged 11 and hubby to Siân

sortanormalish
Barbara Good
Barbara Good
Posts: 156
Joined: Fri Feb 26, 2010 2:54 am
latitude: 85.0
longitude: 35.0
Location: Tennessee

Re: Breast feeding, socially unacceptable or not?

Post: # 195914Post sortanormalish
Mon May 10, 2010 6:22 pm

I haven't read all the posts, sorry if I'm repeating.

There is a Mennonite (sect of the Amish) community not far from here. Every so often you see a young mother with what appears to be a giant baby bib tied around her neck. Protruding from beneath are tiny little feet. These are some of the most modest people in the world and they don't hesitate to feed a hungry baby in public. I've seen muslim women do the exact same thing. I took their cue, so others wouldn't feel awkward around me.

My husband thought I was mean to cover our babies up and not talk to them while they ate. He didn't care that other people would see my boob and didn't hesitate to confront people who were rude.
His thoughts on breasts are this: They aren't just toys for men unless they are filled balloons, in which case they are actually worthless. Most men don't even get turned on by fake ones (his claim, not mine). Curiosity is not the same as excitement he says. Breasts are organs for feeding young because humans are mammals, thus, instinct drives men toward women they see as potential breeders, whether they actually want to breed or not.
"You are a strange little mouse."
"Thank you." -Tale of Despereaux

User avatar
Gwnïo
margo - newbie
margo - newbie
Posts: 7
Joined: Thu May 06, 2010 8:23 am
Location: South Wales

Re: Breast feeding, socially unacceptable or not?

Post: # 195915Post Gwnïo
Mon May 10, 2010 6:28 pm

Helsbells wrote:I think that this is the differance between myself and my husband (origional start of the thread)
I grew up surrounded by women breast feeding so it was something that seemed normal to me, no one made a big show of it, but also no one hid themselves under a towel of cushion (which was why I found this so odd).
Yet my husband did not see women breast feeding at all. So to him it seems totally alien.
I will just have to wait and see how I feel when the time comes.
Helllooo :)

My husband is one of 5 brothers, not a single one of them was breastfed and their mother always said it was disgusting and actually shuddered in front of me once!
My son has just turned 2 and is still breastfed, albeit mainly during the night. I freely breastfed infront of mother in law and her friends and sisters, didn't go flashing them about of course! (Although when J's brothers were around I did cover up a bit more!)
She's now slightly more accepting of it, especially as my son is fit and healthy and not pale and sickly as she imagined!
J came round to it after a short while, I think there was an issue with no-one but me feeding baby and people not knowing how else to help a new mum than that way... does that make sense???

I'm sure your husband will come around to it in time, and then it'll just as natural to him as it is for you :icon_smile:

User avatar
Helsbells
A selfsufficientish Regular
A selfsufficientish Regular
Posts: 907
Joined: Thu Mar 15, 2007 2:32 pm
Location: Berkshire
Contact:

Re: Breast feeding, socially unacceptable or not?

Post: # 195939Post Helsbells
Mon May 10, 2010 8:38 pm

Yey, I am so glad this thread has come back up again, it's so interesting.

There is a Mennonite (sect of the Amish) community not far from here. Every so often you see a young mother with what appears to be a giant baby bib tied around her neck. Protruding from beneath are tiny little feet. These are some of the most modest people in the world and they don't hesitate to feed a hungry baby in public. I've seen muslim women do the exact same thing. I took their cue, so others wouldn't feel awkward around me.
This is still a problem for me though, why should the baby be covered with a towel? I am not saying fling your boobs all over the place, but surely part of breast feeding is bonding with the baby, how can the baby and you bond if it can't even see you with it's head stuck under a towel?

I have made it quite clear to hubby that I will certainly not be doing this.

User avatar
Helsbells
A selfsufficientish Regular
A selfsufficientish Regular
Posts: 907
Joined: Thu Mar 15, 2007 2:32 pm
Location: Berkshire
Contact:

Re: Breast feeding, socially unacceptable or not?

Post: # 195940Post Helsbells
Mon May 10, 2010 8:41 pm

Just re-read post and sorry if it sounds aggressive!! Obviousely it's all about choice and women should be able to choose to feed their baby in whichever way is best for them without fear of critisism from others.
Anyway what do I know, I don't even have a baby!!

sortanormalish
Barbara Good
Barbara Good
Posts: 156
Joined: Fri Feb 26, 2010 2:54 am
latitude: 85.0
longitude: 35.0
Location: Tennessee

Re: Breast feeding, socially unacceptable or not?

Post: # 195953Post sortanormalish
Tue May 11, 2010 2:59 am

This is still a problem for me though, why should the baby be covered with a towel? I am not saying fling your boobs all over the place, but surely part of breast feeding is bonding with the baby, how can the baby and you bond if it can't even see you with it's head stuck under a towel?

I have made it quite clear to hubby that I will certainly not be doing this.[/quote]

I agree that the time spent bonding is valuable, but public feeding is usually the exception so I don't think a feeding here or there under a towel should be a problem. If you find more than a few feedings under a towel, toss the towel.

But my point was that even in extremely modest cultures, women still feed in public because feeding the baby is more important than an ogler's opinion.

I knew when I fed in public that some people would be offended no matter how much was hidden. I wasn't concerned about those people, nothing makes them happy. I was trying to be sensitive to people who understand how babies eat, but don't want to look at my boob.

I thnk that the easiest way to change attitudes is not a topless walk down the avenue, but women casually/discretely feeding in public while going on with ther lives. I think we need to exude an air of normalcy in order for others to realize it is, in fact, normal.
"You are a strange little mouse."
"Thank you." -Tale of Despereaux

User avatar
2+bump
Jerry - Bit higher than newbie
Jerry - Bit higher than newbie
Posts: 40
Joined: Wed Mar 11, 2009 2:54 pm
Location: Perthshire

Re: Breast feeding, socially unacceptable or not?

Post: # 197422Post 2+bump
Mon May 24, 2010 5:46 pm

I am a breastfeeding mother, my youngest is 7 months and I always feed him wherever and whenever he needs fed. I do try to be discreet about it for my sake, not for others, I wouldn't walk around topless for all to see so why would I get them out in full view when I'm feeding. It really shouldn't be the issue that it is in this country, as with the issue of what age you should stop feeding, it is the healthiest way to feed your baby if your able to
Looking forward to being sufficientish

Image

Peppa Pig
Jerry - Bit higher than newbie
Jerry - Bit higher than newbie
Posts: 48
Joined: Sun May 23, 2010 8:53 pm
Location: Leicestershire

Re: Breast feeding, socially unacceptable or not?

Post: # 197425Post Peppa Pig
Mon May 24, 2010 6:51 pm

I have breast fed my 24 month old since day one and Im just weaning her off now finally. I have never got them out in public although sitting in the garden I get them out and its lovaly just sitting there with the birds and all that.
I wouldnt feel safe from prying eyes as having lots of milk in gives you bigger boobs that get stared at anyway and the last thing I would like attract are other people in what I see as a private, comforting for baby meal. :icon_smile:


Of course on the gogglebox you wouldnt know I was that old, its amazing what they can do now with makeup :lol:
Muddy Puddles is our favourite episode!

Bosom Buddy
margo - newbie
margo - newbie
Posts: 1
Joined: Sun Jul 11, 2010 8:39 pm

Re: Breast feeding, socially unacceptable or not?

Post: # 202553Post Bosom Buddy
Sun Jul 11, 2010 9:09 pm

Hi all,

Felt compelled to join in the discussion! There's a lot of mixed views from the public, as far as 'should do it in the toilet', 'should be discreet' and 'with all this modern science do women even need to breastfeed anymore' being a sample of the comments received! Women do find it difficult to breastfeed in public due to the fact it's not 'normalised' in western society, we are inundated everday with representations of how breasts 'should' look, not what they should be used for. Sex education is taught in schools, but no aspect of caring for babies so we miss the opportunity to change opinions towards breastfeeding. It seems our education system thinks that if we discuss caring for babies our already high teenage pregnancy rate will increase - so what if it does, does age really signify the 'quality' of parent? (But that's another discussion!)

As a breastfeeding Mother, I came up against many hurdles along the way. So much so that a friend and I actually created a breastfeeding in public group (Bosom Buddies, find us on Facebook!) where Mums can come along and feed their little ones knowing they are surrounded by like minded individuals and have no reason to have the 'feeds of shame' in the loos or in the back of the car. By supporting women to breastfeed in public, we change opinions by allowing individuals to see that breastfeeding does happen! I've even had children come over to ask me what I'm doing?? What a shame that society sees breastfeeding as a taboo, but women getting drunk, leary and urinating in the streets is now pretty much a social norm. There's a website called Milky Mums who are proposing having little business card sized 'Thank you' cards to hand out to women who they see nursing in public, what a fabulous idea. How mad it is that in this world the most beautiful, caring act is up for discussion as being socially unacceptable?! I in no way would compare breastfeeding to the social unacceptable acts I see happen in my local town centre on a weekend! Breastfeeding in public is not a crime, nor should any woman feeding be made to feel that it is.

Rant over :)

Post Reply