First not going to school day

[Annpan]

Tomorrow will officially be E's first day not in school. The local schools all go back and she is almost 5 so would otherwise have been due to start. We had always (since getting pregnant) thought we would home-educate but it seems like this is a big milestone for us.


Anywhoos....

Recently, we have been struggling a little with family and friends questions about home-ed and it occurred to me that there ought to be a small information leaflet about home-ed that I could hand them to help with their curiosities. Basically, the majority of people (parent and non-parents alike) seem to be rather ill-informed about what home-education is, and how it is done.

The main issue we struggle with is how to tell parents of conventionally schooled children that our choice to home-educate does not reflect directly on their choice to send their child to school....

I learned (after loosing a few friends) not to tell parents:
1) that we believe school serves mainly to institutionalise children from a young age
2) that we don't agree that our child (who has no special needs that we are aware of) would get a full and balanced education in main-stream school
3) that we don't agree with enforced religion in our schools
4) that schools serve as a breeding ground for bullies
5) that the social skills learned at school are the skills to either stand out (class clown, trouble maker, etc) or to blend into the background so as to avoid getting picked on, and these are not the same skills that are needed in non-school life.

I don't think that I really believe any of the above 100%, but I do believe there is truth in each statement. But by the time I would utter any of the above I have already alienated and/or offended the other person.

My best answer so far is that it 'suits our lifestyle' but that just leaves them agog, wondering what kind of mental lifestyle we have that precludes us from taking a child to school at 9am.

Basically, I know my reasons to not send my child to school. But I need to find a few, less destructive ways of telling other parents.


The questions usually go like this
Why?
Is it legal?
Who do you need to tell, do they check your house?
Do they give you the curriculum?
What about socialising?
What about exams?

So I was planning on making up a bit of a non-preachy info sheet that covered the basics.... above all it has to not be offensive to the people who choose to send their kids to school.

Can anyone share with me their thoughts on this? or give me some ideas....

[battybird]

Hope E has a lovely "first day" at school! At least she wont have the trauma of having to adapt to new rules, people, routines and will be able to be stuck in straight away...I wish I had been blessed with the patience (and not had a fulltime job ) to home ed at least one of my sons. I am not sure that giving friends a leaflet will stop those who feel threatened from falling out over it. True friends will respect your decision and even with a lively debate, still stay friends But I am sure others with experience will help you compile something.
Having run a nursery for several years, I often found that the natural learning process seemed to stall when 4yrolds (soo young) entered a formal "learning environment" . In my opinion they learn constantly, in their own way and knowledge of the childs needs and a "one-to-one" contact has many advantages. My youngest learned to read with no active input from us except regular reading to him...I was stunned when he told me he could "read" a simple book and then actually did it! And that was when he was three and coming to the nursery with me. We did no "formal" teaching (despite pressure from some parents). But...young children learn maths, language, science, history, geography with structured (ish!!) play and dont need to be force-fed alphabets and writing and reading!
So I am envious of you and wish you all the best!

[crazymaisey]

First of all, congratulations! I think it's wonderful that you are doing this!

My first thoughts about the bullies, clowns, trouble makers or simply blending into the background to avoid being picked on (as you mentioned) might come across as pretty negative, and make the parents you talk to feel very guilty that they allow their children to be in such a place. It's not all doom and gloom at schools as you will know. But maybe if you just tell people that you've always wanted to try it to see if it would make a difference, your child having one to one education rather than how it is at schools. Tell them you know it's going to be hard work but you just want to give it a go. Just sort of laugh and say something like "give it a week and I'll probably change my mind!" You know in your heart that you won't. But it will save them being negative towards you and saying it behind your back. I just think this is how I would tell people. You're not making them feel negative. Plus they'll probably walk away thinking "Wow! I couldn't do it!" And they'll probably ask you down the line, how things are going.

[that_sarah_girl]

I really admire you for this!

Personally I don't think I would home-school my son, mainly because I've never been very "academic" myself and wouldn't know where to start.

Growing up my parent's had these friends who had 7 or 8 kids (I lost count!) who were all home-schooled. They've turned out fine as far as I'm aware

[Thomzo]

Hi - not a parent so I shall act the part of the concerned friend. I guess I'd want to be reassured that you were capable of actually providing a proper education and that E wasn't missing out on the social interaction with other children. Perhaps you can talk positively about what you actually do, and enthuse about what you've done/researched/learnt over the last week/month etc.

The proof is in the eating so if E is allowed to show off her reading, writing, reciting skills to friends and family they will be reassured. If they can see her interacting with other children and adults they won't worry about her missing out on social skills. Perhaps, instead of a leaflet, you can put together a learning plan, detailing what you are going to be teaching her and then you (or she) can proudly show it off as each milestone is reached.

You've already identified that you don't want to be negative so just continue being really positive and emphasise that she will get loving, one-to-one tuition and that you'll be learning together in a positive, supportive and non-threatening environment.

Good luck
Zoe

[noplasticbags]

I hope you and E had a memorable day. If I had my time again I would have organised my life so this were a possible option, my third is very academic and thrives at school, but it was not such a positive time for my other two. Do Education Otherwise not have anything you could adapt for your purposes?

Many congratulations on your long journey

[Mrs H]

Why tell them anything? If they are good friends they will respect your decision. A decision which you have made for your child not theirs. Our eldest is going into p2 in a rural school, there is only 4 others in his little class. I love it as he recieves very good care and as there is only 43 kids in the whole school they all know each other. However if this school gets closed down then r next closest has over 30 kids in each year with just a teacher and a classroom assistant, that scares me as i dont believe each child can get a good standard of education. If we hit that stage then i would definatly consider homeschooling. At the end of the day at 5 they r still babies and when in a secure and loving environment they learn all the time, everything they watch and listen too gets processed (as proved to me today when r 3 yr old told me that she hurt her arse!! Whoops, bad mummy!!! must watch what im saying abit more!!)
I dont feel you should need to justify your decision to anyone, they either respect it or they dont. The world would be a very boring place if we all agreed. xxx

[battybird]

Why tell them anything? If they are good friends they will respect your decision. A decision which you have made for your child not theirs. Our eldest is going into p2 in a rural school, there is only 4 others in his little class. I love it as he recieves very good care and as there is only 43 kids in the whole school they all know each other. However if this school gets closed down then r next closest has over 30 kids in each year with just a teacher and a classroom assistant, that scares me as i dont believe each child can get a good standard of education. If we hit that stage then i would definatly consider homeschooling. At the end of the day at 5 they r still babies and when in a secure and loving environment they learn all the time, everything they watch and listen too gets processed (as proved to me today when r 3 yr old told me that she hurt her arse!! Whoops, bad mummy!!! must watch what im saying abit more!!)
I dont feel you should need to justify your decision to anyone, they either respect it or they dont. The world would be a very boring place if we all agreed. xxx

[red]

We are on our last year of home ed.. so my advice is

get used to it. it wont ever stop. You wont always have your leaflets with you... and people would rather talk anyway.

Only because of talking to people did I find out home ed was a possibility, and have worked ever since we took the plunge to be a good impression.. however, i never offer my thoughts unless asked, and have always met people who were angry at my choice.

I have also met other home educators who are angry at the way we have chosen to do home ed - eg because I am fine.. approve of.. the idea that the local authority should know we are home educating, and we always allowed the visits from the home ed inspector (enjoyed them actually), that we have always stuck to a schedule - starting at 9 and finishing at 3 etc

You can't please everyone, and if you choose to be alternative.. you will please even less.

So.. i say.. live with it.. as already suggested... don't try to explain it. just live with it.



edit to add: - everyone could see the vast improvement my son made, and armed with the glowing reports the inspector from the local authority gave us, any opposition evaporated when the results were to be seen. and I was useful to be able to say to strangers how happy the LA were with our work etc

[PlainQB]

Hello,

A leaflet or factsheet sounds like a good idea. It would be nice if all parents thought carefully about what was best for their child rather then either dumping them in school because that's what everyone else does and it's easiest or homschooling because then the parents can maintain an isolated envioroment where their views rule. Differnet children need different enviroments and those needs should come first.

Are there any options for half way houses. I'm thinking perhaps school on only a couple of days a week or only in the mornings?

[RuthG]

Have you come across these guys:

http://www.education-otherwise.net/

They already do leaflets etc and are a great source of help, especially if you end up delaing with the authorities.

We home edded ours and didnt tell the LA, because they had never been to school so we didnt have to. But they are likely to seek you out and start asking questions and demand to 'inspect' your curriculum - they do not actually have the right to do this as yet, and you do not have to allow them to question your child, or enter your property.