Home ed or not?

[Pumpkin&Piglet]

I know there are lots of home ed posts but I have quite a specific problem so I hope no one minds if I make another one!

I'm looking for a bit of reassurance really but if it's not there and the best idea is school then I can accept that.

I've got so many people who think it's their place to lecture me and 'have little chats' with me about what's best for my children that I'm beginning to question what is right and that in itself upsets me that people can make me question what I feel.

Anyway, the gist is, I want to home ed my boys. I'm researching all the general issues, socialising, academic ability etc but what concerns me is how I will cope.

My 4 yeard old currently goes to playgroup/nursery 3 days a week, two half days and one full day. When he's home I cope fine although it's stressful sometimes - nothing odd there I don't think.

I also have a 2 year old and plan to have more children in time. Nothing ridiculous, one next year and perhaps one more in a couple of years after that if all is appropriate at the right time. I like planning and doing activities with the boys and we'll go to groups and we're out and about a lot and I'm happy to put in the time and effort etc to give them all that I can.

My eldest is relentless though, he needs occupying full time and has all the normal things a 4 year old does - no awareness of personal space, constant questions, constant silly noises and jumping on my sofa etc etc.

I enjoy spending time in my home with my children and out and about with them but will it be too much for me when they are both around me full time? I feel ridiculous asking as I feel if you're going to have children you ought to be able to lok after them and I feel I can do that - but is school best for them?

[boboff]

So you would like to educate them, but find the oldest annoying?

You are so so so so not alone in feeling this!

Unfortunately I can't answer the question, and really no one can but you!

Personally I couldn't do it, and find teaching my kids anything hampered by the "dad" role that I play, i.e. any form of criticism is taken to heart, and taken very personally.

If you are good at educating children, great, but you may find you're better at educating them when they are in KS 2, so 7.

It doesn't make you a bad Mum to send them to school, if it's best for them and you.

[mrsflibble]

sometimesI want to throttle my seven year old, like any normal parent. We just happen to be an HE family.

you're also not alone in having poeple tell you what you should do, what's right etc. what's right for you is not necessarily right for anyone else so you know what? stuff them!!!

get yourself on education otherwise's site, and try to find a local group where you can meet up with other parents. they're hard to find, but finding a national forum and going through them helped me to fin my local groups.

once you can meet up with other parents, you will realise you are not alone, you are not mad in wanting to do this, you can manage it and your kids will succeed.

much love, pm me if you want. I'm right here ;)

[oldjerry]

I know there are lots of home ed posts but I have quite a specific problem so I hope no one minds if I make another one!

I'm looking for a bit of reassurance really but if it's not there and the best idea is school then I can accept that.

- but is school best for them?

Depends on your circumstances,but I think what most 4 yr olds need is some EDUCATION.

Wether you do it or leave it to your local school is up to you,but,in my experience (3 kids,in later life,still all under 13) when they get to 4 or thereabouts,they just want to learn stuff.So all your assessment of their personality,behaviour,etc,etc you may well come to question,...it'll turn out OK,whichever way you chose.

[Pumpkin&Piglet]

I think it's not the coping I worry about - I'm confident in that and I'm confident that they'll get everything they need.

I'm worried that giving them a home education will not be amazing enough to warrant not sending them to school - if that makes sense?

I think I worry about it a bit too much. I think I may also have a romanticised view of what home ed could be like and need to accept it with it's negativity (and I still think it's better than state schools even when I do this!) and just remember whatever I do, as already mentioned, it'll all work out alright in the end whatever.

I recon I'll give it a go and not over think it :)

Thank you

[Uller]

I don't have children and wasn't home-educated, so probably not best placed to comment on this but could you try it for a year or so and see how it goes? I would imagine that, like any type of learning, different methods suit different children - you might just have to see what happens.

And I'm not sure that going to school is so amazing that it justifies not being taught at home!

[Pumpkin&Piglet]

Yes. This is one of the things that frustrates me when speaking to people who don't really understand. Whichever I decide I can change my mind at any point and go with the other. And even change t back again if I really feel that is right.

There are obviously consequences to doing that but there are consequences to everything and I will think of as many as I can before taking action which will affect my child's well-being.

Thank you, it's good to get as many views as possible to help me in anything I haven't thought of so that fact that you don't have children doesn't matter!

[mrsflibble]

to be honest, I think a relaxed and happy atmosphere with a better teacher to child ratio than a standard school is the best thing. For me, that's home ed. I seem to get far more actual life-valuable stuff (probably a better way of phrasing that...) out of sophie than school did. she can now read the underground map, work out bus times, calculate her change for a shop/bus fare/train fare and is beginning to get the hang of calculating her discount for our privilage rail cards too.
we've been to science lectures at the RI in london, animal experience days, she attends a gym once a week and a craft club once a month where she mixes with children of different ages an backgrounds so she's getting a wider range of stuff.....

but then we're very happy, a year into home educating and are seeing our education officer on weds and have already met her and know we're on track so... yeah. we're happy doing it this way :D

[chickenchargrill]

My eldest are both going through the school system. But we do extra 'lessons' at home as the school is rubbish. Although the extra learning at home is more due to their passion for learning.

Youngest, who's 2 and a half, will be home educated. Although, if I said that in my local HE group on FB, I'd be told off. If you have kids, you already home educate.

We're doing it on a trial basis, Dexter won't go to nursery and will miss reception year too. If it works out, I'll carry on at home, if not, we'll send him to school. I can't see any reason why it wouldn't work though. The local HE community is fab and meet up lots. They do gym groups, bsl, crafts, science weeks, day trips. There's certainly no reason Dexter won't be socialised. If anything, it's a better social experience because they're learning to socialise and work with children and adults of different age groups rather than whoever happened to be born between that August and July.

[Pumpkin&Piglet]

I have an attitude of I want to try it and if it doesn't work then we'll try school but my biggest concern with that is my son then going into a situation where the children at school know how it all works and have made friends already and he's an outsider.
Am I causing him unnecessary difficulty? Or am I creating a situation in which he can learn skills and giving him an opportunity to learn?

[chickenchargrill]

It is an opportunity to learn. I can't speak for all schools, but both my girls ended up making new friends every year from nursery to year 4, because the friends they made ended up in a different class from them the year after. Kids adjust pretty quickly. New kids start every year, being the new kid can have its advantage too.