How do I get motivated?

[JulieSherris]

Haha, serves ya right MuddyWitch - anyway, it's about you did something other than yak on MSN all night....

[thesunflowergal]

I've given up looking for motivation, six months unemployed has done me in, I had a five minute chat with the lady in the paper shop which was the highlight of my day.
Heaps of 'things to be done' but no company

Thats you and my hubby too, fingers crossed that something comes along soon for you. DH has found that he needs to look further afield, as there does not seem to be much for him in Wiltshire.

My eldest has gone to stay with my MIL for the weekend, so I am going to try and get motived. But also spend some quality time with the baby

[grannymags]

What a brilliant idea to clean the sink before going to bed! I am going to do that tonight.

I have read somewhere about cleaning the sink every morning but I started doing that and found it a daunting task! We have a dishwasher but everyone seems to leave the dirty dishes on the sink or worktop and use clean ones from the dishwasher instead of putting them away. I have attempted to turn this around but always come home to a kitchen full of dishes and messy worktops covered in crumbs! Doing the sink at night should solve this problem for me or at least reduce it.

My house is a complete tip. I am the worlds most reluctant housewife. There is always something much nicer to do. I would love to be able to pay someone to do it for me!!! Clearing it all is an overwhelming prospect. Wouldn't it be nice to be able to invite people in?

So, clean my sink tonight and decide which small area of the house I will tackle in the morning.

Thats enough planning! Otherwise I will lose this motivation. I know what I am like!

Thanks

Maggie x

[CyberPaddy66]

We had help from my mother recently to give our place the complete going over (when I was in Hospital) to get rid of the dust left by the birds, since then we've been pottering about with a bit of dusting here and a bit of wiping down there and our flat has never felt so clean

Good tip about the sink, I absolutely hate finding dishes in the sink and I'm the one who puts them there so I try to put the dishes in the dishwasher as soon as we've used them, I think you need to 'train' other in your house to do the same Grannymags.

[grannymags]

Hi,

Well, I have cleaned my sink for the last couple of evenings before going to bed and what a difference!

The kitchen seems to stay clean all day! I put the dishes in the dishwasher as I use them, set it going before bed and put the dishes away in the morning.

I still come home to dishes in the sink or elsewhere (!) but it doesn't seem so bad as the kitchen was already clearish to start with. I have to sort the cupboards so I can put everything away.

Still have the rest of the house to go! Mountainous struggle. Hubby is completely untrainable I am afraid! I have been trying for nearly 30 years but he wont listen. I think it is deliberate! He does bring me a cup of tea every morning which is lovely. Everything else he does 'Dreckly'. Thats Cornish for sometime, never!!

Any suggestions as to how I can motivate myself to sort out the living room? Chaos reigns!

Maggie x

[CyberPaddy66]

Little by little is my motto these days, every time you enter or leave a room make sure your hands are not empty and find places for things to be stashed away until you need them, I have so much stuff in the attic I'd hate to be the removal firm when we do end up moving because I'm sure not going to pack all that up

[Uller]

I am hopeless at housework and have tried various things over the years - setting a particular day when the house is cleaned, or doing half an hour a day when I get home from work.

I think the most important thing though, is to work on the guilt rather than the motivation. Why on earth should you feel guilty because you haven't done something? I decided a while ago that I wasn't going to feel guilty. If I spend the whole weekend reading or watching TV and not lifting a finger, I don't feel guilty - I work full time and deserve some downtime. If you spend time with your kids, or pottering in the garden, or on the internet, don't feel guilty - you are being a good mother (or father!), growing food/improving your environment, expanding your knowledge etc.

The remarkable thing is, since I've stopped feeling guilty, I seem to be more inclined to do things - I'm doing it because I want to rather than because I feel I have to!

[grannymags]

oh Uller, you are so right. We do feel too guilty for spending time for ourselves.

What you have said has stuck a chord with me and I am going to concentrate on
feeling less guilty and, as you say, do a little at a time.

I am about to be paid some money I am owed so I am going to buy a new mattress
so I will HAVE to sort out the library of books just lying everywhere in my bedroom.
I will do it slowly and order the mattress when I can find the bed! That way I will not
be putting myself under pressure.

Kitchen still looks tidy, well, it does to me anyway. Others may be horrified if they saw it!!

Maggie

[boboff]

Wow, what a thread.

Poor Ann, must be hard.

Being a new at home dad with kids 7 & 9 it is so much easier. We cleaned the dishes, the oven, and took all the dirty dishes out the dishwasher, as it's just broke this morning, I washed and they dried and put away, kitchen is clean, and like you mentioned, it motivated me to clean out the Porch and downstairs toilet which has had Mum and 5 kittens in it for 2 months, so was gopping. We can use the loo again now, before it was way too smelly!

This whole guilt and motivation thing, it's
so common. I feel exactly the same way. I have really good weeks, and then tired don't do anything for a couple of weeks ( I do all the usual stuff, not the to do list stuff)

I got a book out the library last week, Surviving and Thriving or something like that, and the introduction said that you have to cater for your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual energy. Have a 'puter day or a book day is important I think in maintaining these energies.

I really do envy those people who can just do nothing, play video games for hours on end etc, it must be good to not fell guilty. But I think guilt must be there for a reason, if not we would at a push not really achieve anything. Leaving things to the last minute, but still getting them done, is way different than not doing them at all.

[PlayingWithFire]

Hello all

In my case - It is not so easy when the motivation was previously "what will others think?", a sort of guilt and sense of what is expected - which is often derived from artificial standards set by TV advertising - all those cleaning products, gleaming surfaces, immaculate houses and 'perfect' housewives. This is the myth of consumerism and turns us into house cleaning slaves, whipping ourselves to do ever more, and thus use ever more.

One thing that is striking to me as I read your replies and the original question, is how 'alone' everyone sounds. Housewife or househusband with a child to care for, trying to cook meals, care for house and garden, animals, etc?

Traditionally this was work done in cooperation with others, grannies, sisters, husbands, other children, neighbours, brothers, etc.

So, here is an alternative to the above advice. Get friends to call round occassionally, and help, and you do the same for them. Prepare a light lunch, put some music on, fast tempo salsa, ... and have fun! Cleaning a friends house is way more fun than doing your own.

We live in a rural location and most friends are far away, so to overcome this problem we participate in Couchsurfing - which is an online hospitality club, we provide a place for visitors to stay, one or more nights, and in return they help out around the place. Kind of like wwoofing for ordinary folk.

The washing up gets done, we have company, we are energised and we tend to spend less time on the computer (which is why my appearances on here are sporadic).

When I used to run Youth Hostels I had to find ways to motivate staff to clean, which is bad enough when it is your own mess but when it is a school party that has trashed your hostel, it can demotivate. We would set time limits for tasks, a 'challenge'. We'd put music on loud. We'd open windows to let fresh air in. We'd have systems - ways to get things done better and faster each time - always trying to be more efficient and the best, even if it was cleaning a toilet or mopping a floor. How could it be don better? This got the mind working too.

Of course, we would also prioritise, to ensure that when cut off time came, the essentials were done, and we could walk away from work for some well earned time in the countryside, or on the computer

So, I suggest, you pay attention to your cleaning materials, get them organised and keep them tidy, in a designated place and thus have all the tools to hand. Take pride in this and keep on top of this small area - and from this other areas can follow.

And with regards prioritising - some jobs just do not need doing - ironing? Some jobs are monthly only - shower cleaning? Some things are just easier if nipped in the bud - having a recycling system?

So, in my opinion, focus upon cooking healthy meals, and thus keeping the kitchen a good working space, work tops clear, sink empty, washing done. This takes me all day! I try to keep the house tidy but rarely clean, as such. That is left for special occassions. And the funny thing is, the house seems more welcoming and friends are more relaxed as a result.

You also mention mould on walls - which suggests to me you need to ventilate the house more. This could also be a factor in sapping your energy. Let fresh air in your house, as much as possible. And get a bit of help, with the tasks you least like to do. Motivation will come.

Have a look on the internet for natural cleaning tips - like bicarb of soda, lemon, vinegar, salt, basic soap, hot water ... and this may inspire you to experiment, making some tasks more fun - and of interest to friends.

http://www.couchsurfing.org/

[JulieSherris]

And you've just uttered the most important 7 words of the entire thead, PWF....

"some jobs just do not need doing "

Who else do I know (apart from the MIL) who has the time to wash the skirting boards every week? Who would WANT to??
And who would notice?

The MIL is on her way today for her bi-annual visit..... and so I am sat here, knowing that the kitchen, bathroom & back room all need a clean & floors doing... and I'll get to it in a minute - but I'm NOT going to bust a gut doing it - I shall do it all quickly & then get on with the more important jobs... like make a coffee & go talk to the 3 hens that my daughter got for us yesterday

Then I 'might' have a shower & do my hair..... then again, I might not, I might just go & water the veggies & potter around playing with the weedlings

Priorities indeed!!

[Millymollymandy]

Well bugger me (excuse my French ) I might DUST or vac a skirting board occasionally but why on earth would you want/need to wash the damn things???? What kind of dirt sticks to vertical skirting boards apart from the dust and fluff on the top bit? And every week! Poor you Julie - hugs dear!

[Millymollymandy]

THAT'S NOT NORMAL! It's downright crazy!

[JulieSherris]

Hey... I just had an idea there....
So I have the mop ready.... and am just doing the rooms in question - before making bread then dinner then getting a shower... (I spent too long in the garden - oops!!)

So.... if I wash the floor now & it stays reasonably clean for the week while she's here... I can cover the floors with a sheet until her next visit... take up the sheet & voila!! A clean floor still!
Will it work, do you think?? Hahaha!

[oldfella]

My friend Geoge Clooney is coming to visit me for a few days and he was wondering if he stopped of in the UK, one of you ladies could put him up for a few days.