get people to stop being sods about the fact i am unemployed

[Paul_C]

this si a bit of a rant because if i dont get it out im licky to start hitting things

its not here but other forums i go on it has become a common theme of bash the cripple who also has mental health problems . they disagfree with me. well what do i know im just a doley scum scrounger.



its not a choice thing being unemployed for me . infact i hate it. im BORED. im SKINT and i dont like either of them. its a im waiting for treatment thing and have been for several years with consistant ongoing cockups which i have no control over. compounded with a very real need for the docs to keep me safe and stable.

but no im a scrounger. ignoring the fact i have worked hard when i worked. with no long term breaks it was either work or paying for myself to be in tech college and through uni. ignoring the facts that i want to work


why is it somehow acceptable to insult me over things they know nothing about? my health, my circumstances, because i manage to do SOMETHING. a something without which i would have killed myself by now. that something is diving, i pour all of my spare cash into it. i pour all of my time into it as its the only thing i have that gets me out and meeting people and being active. but thats wrong. i manage to despite all the odds, do SOMETHING with my life. and it makes me for a while feel happy. but thats all wrong.

and its not jsut that they are now bringing my family into it, and not just my parents but extended ones as well,
comments like
ohh look who lives in a houise that daddy bought. yes he did. because im such a low priority for council hosuing im actualy lower than people not on the list and i couldnt find a private flat which was sutable for my physical and mental needs and because me living with them was going to destroy him and my mum. he was forced into that action and also because a 30 year old man needs his own space.
i pay the rent with HB, and when i start work i will pay the rent from my own pocket at the same rate. its not a contrived tennancy (even the DWP acceped that) its a real one.

and then there is the way they bring extended family into it. my family has a building company. so just get them to give you a job.
well i know that they had layoffs last year so any new employment will be offered to the ones who were laid off. because they are a decent company like that.

. and i have asked int he past for a job, and it was always NO because its not my dad who makes the call. its my uncle who doesnt give a shit about anyones kids but his own.
plus the fact that i am trained in MECHANICAL engineering. not in construction. the 2 are similar but so different. and they legaly cant just give me a job. there are standards to be followed for recruitment

oh and i also have Nill stake in the company. nadda zip zilch. even my discussions with my uncle over design flaws in my home from an occupyers perspective is ignored so making something happen is a non starter.



but thats not even known. worse its ignored if i do say something as doley whining.

i dont realy wish to put exactly why im out of work up, as its not nice reading and painful as hell and very private. and the kiss of death to diving, by simply admitting to having a MH issue.

so im feeling realy angry at the moment.

oh and it all came up because i cant abide Big brother and say as much. i find it to be dull contrivied mind numbing crap and feel that the UK would be better served with out it.

[southeast-isher]

Why tell everyone you are unemployed? You could say you work from home...

[trinder]

aw mate poor you, big hug You really are on a down but remember you are not alone and not everyone see's it like the people you are talking about.
My work is in supported housing and I see work colleagues who have the same attitudes as you have described. But there is hope. We are not ALL like it. just keep focussed on the important little things and this too will pass.
Yeah people can focus on your Lavish lifestyle DIVING but my mate gets worse because she is so bone idle she spends all day walking around fields and sitting by a lake ( sounds posh if you put it like that) but really if she lived on a council estate she'd be walking the streets (not so grand now)
keep the faith you have friends here and I'm really sorry for any MIS understandings (in the past)

[fruitcake]

I think it's great that you have a focus and a passion to dive. Why should you have to watch reality pish on tv. And why should you have to live on the street- we're supposed to help each other out and that's fab that your dad has bee in a position to help sort things out. I admire you for focussing in your diving - what a great activity- something which gets you out and close up to / into nature!
Remember to keep yourself in the centre of your own picture - other peoples comments says much more about them than it does you. Find some positive mates to hang out with - its hard when family don't support each other- they're probably a bit lost in there own fears and have lost they're way in life. In the meantime enjoy the diving!

[Lost-in-the-Day]

If people are having a go at you on other forums then don't go on those forums anymore. Someitmes people change but mostly you'll find they are set in their views and having to explain yourself over and over when they don't want to listen will just grind you down.

[Paul_C]

cheers guys. it Realy got me down as i have alot of other stuf to worry about and kepe a lid on. but the snide comments keep on comming and it wears me down. and i did need to get it out of me.

it got so bad that i snapped and said very punlicly WHY im not working which is simply because i was abused as a kid and thanks to the mental health system not realising the damage and then being naff means i have had to wait a long time to be treated for it.

[gregorach]

Many people just can't grasp the idea that other people have circumstances that they're not aware of and can't imagine. Some people have never suffered any hardship in their lives, and so can't understand what it's like. Some people have no empathy for the suffering of others. And some people are just scum.

Stay strong, and don't let the bastards grind you down.

[boboff]

Paul, you have to stop Caring.
Keep your own council as best you can, it is good advice.
You have to think about it, what difference does their opinion make to you? None.
Your situation is not one that calls for any sort of snide comment what so ever, frankly if I was on a forum where people belittled me because of what I had posted before ( except MMM and Raspberries, that I know now was called for) I WOULD NOT VISIT IT.
My own solace Mate is that the older I get, the more I realise that Most people didn't have a perfect upbringing, but it is not cause and effect, you have a big part to play in making your life a better, happier place, and the first step is to stop going to places where people make you feel shit......
The fact your Dad bought the house you live in, the fact you can't work because you are Ill, the fact that you have other illnesses which mean not only can't you work but you feel rubbish, surely these are all things which we can empathise with, and support you with, you have to know that anyone who can try and turn this on you, as being in some way your fault, or that you have had it easy in some way, they really are GIANT MALE CHICKENS................

[bonniethomas06]

Sorry to hear that you are down about things Paul. Totally echoing what everyone else has said. I think someone here has a signature quote that says something like (excuse me if this is wrong) "nobody can disrespect you without your permission". It's true, any comments people make are just comments, they don't reflect on the real you, as only YOU know what it is like to be you. If you can look in your heart and know that you are doing your best every day, that is all that matters.

I suggest you ditch the other forums, and stick with us lot!

And I totally understand the theraputic effect of diving - being in a different, almost silent world, where you can effectively fly (well, can go up/down/left/right as you want to) is amazing. It is something I am really hoping to do this year if the cash situation improves - tell me about it, not cheap! Especially if you have to hire the kit every time.

[MKG]

There are idiots all over the net, Paul. So stop telling them about your circumstances - the less they know, the less ammunition they have. Apart from that, I agree with all the comments above.

(For your info. only, I happen to be an absentee landlord with 8 million pounds in the bank and seventeen children no-one else knows about. I eat sparrows and trample hedgehogs and drive the oldest and largest gas-guzzler in the world. But don't tell anyone on here - they'll just get at me.)

Oh, hang on - they do anyway!

Anyway, glad you're feeling a bit better now.

Mike

[Paul_C]

well im have finished redoing my diving harness, and some little bits of repairs, now im bottling 5 gallons of tom claxton real ale in the nice cliptop bottles a local resturant gives me! for free. pics to follow.

and interestingly they have gone very quiet since i was blunt about what is wrong. .

[Thomzo]

Hi
The others have given some really good advice so I can't really add anything except to say ignore the idiots who don't understand and stick with us. You're welcome here.

Have you got any pictures from your diving?

Zoe

[Paul_C]

a few, tho im not ver good, and also where i dive the visability is normaly poor so its not ideal. dont think crysal clear think more muddy puddle.
plus its a choice between camera to take pictures or good bags to take dinner. dinner normaly wins

[trinder]

Oh by the way

oh and it all came up because i cant abide Big brother and say as much. i find it to be dull contrivied mind numbing crap and feel that the UK would be better served with out it.

I just don't get it. Why would anyone want to eavedrop on such twaddle. But just don't sound superior, make sure you tell em your too poor for a TV xx

[MuddyWitch]

I doubt I could add anything to the sound advice above, but I wanted to add my

MW