That moment......

[Milims]

Inspired by Halfa on the quote of the day thread - and I must find that book and buy it!!
What is your happiest/best/most peaceful/recognition/life changing moment?
To start with - here's mine.
One day I was rushing to an appointment somewhere, that was so important that I can't even remember what it was! On the way I was stuck in a traffic jam. The sun was beatting down on the car and I was hot, stressed and irritated. I wound down the window and there at the side of the road was a the most beautiful robin singing his heart out in a bush just next to me. If I'd rushed past I'd have missed it. At that moment I realised that there is some most awe inspiring life happening around us that we are quite simply going to miss out on if we don't just chill out!!

[Andy Hamilton]

I like that story.

I had a similar experience about 10 years ago. I was in wales on a camping holiday and myself and a friend got up at dawn. The morning sun cast a golden light across the surrounding hills and mist was rising from a river in the valley. We heard a noise to see about 10 horses galloping along side the river, they slowed down right in front of us to cross the river and galloped off.

I have been lucky to have quite a few moments that really have been pretty amazing. Most recently getting the emails about having meetings with publishers and then getting the book deal have really been moments that I wish I could bottle.

[Wombat]

My "moment" took thirty years to arrive and happened about 12 months ago -

Some thirty odd years ago, my mother died, 5 days before my 18th birthday to be precise. She had been a sick woman as long as I could remember, with asthma back before ventolin, her heart and lungs just wore out. I thought I coped pretty well but I know I suppressed some stuff and there was something nasty waiting for me, locked away which I did not want to face.

Occasionally things would happen that let me know all was not well, perhaps the most significant being about 15 years ago when an argument between my wife and youngest daughter set me off, I was an an emotional wreck for a few days. I still don't know why, but it wedged the door to that particular "room" in my mind open and I never got it fully closed again.

I knew that it must be affecting my behaviour somehow but i thought i was OK. An example of this (that only makes sense in hindisght) was the fact that my wife has inherited her fathers ability to say the wrong thing at the wrong time (foot in mouth disease). It was my choice to let this stuff go, or get upset by it and I always got upset by it. It also gave me some sense of satisfaction - as if I would say to myself - You deserved that!

Anyway, about 18 months ago I was watching a documentary on quantum physics called "what the BLEEP do we know" starring Marlee Matlin, the deaf actress. The thrust of the program was that if we are a happy person, good things are attracted to us and vice versa. Marlee was playing a person who didn't like herself much and at one point is yelling and throwing things at a mirror. She has a turnaround and in the next schene after remembering comments from a stranger she meets (her moment?) is drawing hearts and "I love You" on her skin with a felt tipped pen. When I saw this I started "crying with my whole body" and did this for a good 5 minutes. I didn't know why, whatever it touched was so deep I couldn't see it. After much thought in quiet moments the only thing I could come up with was that I couldn't do the same thing with the felt tip pen, but I didn't know why.

12 months ago I was watching a pretty sad program called "make me beautiful - please" in my hotel room. At one point the "life coach" of one of the girls got her up on a table and got her to state that she was worthy of love and attention. Again, I had to be honest with myself and realize that I was not worthy of being loved.....but why?

After some soul searching, and by this point I really WANTED to know.......I had to get to this point before it could happen, it came to me that because I had looked after my mother before she died, but had been unable to prevent her dying, I was, in a sense, responsible and therefore not worthy of being loved.

this realisation hurt, but as soon as I got it out into the light and looked at it, it lost it's power and for the first time in over thirty years I could accept myself and believe my wife when she said she loved me.

It was one of those life changing moments.

Nev

[Jarmara]

Wow Nev thats wonderful!
love and ((((((((((HUGE HUGS))))))))))) to you X

[Wombat]

Thanks Jarmara!

I usually don't post this sort of stuff on SSish and was wondering what the response would be...........

Nev

[Cassiepod]

The response is very thoughtful reflection on how I currently live my life and how I treat others...

[Shirley]

((((((((((Nev))))))))))))

I've got tears in my eyes reading that - I want to watch that documentary.

[Stonehead]

I like this story that I heard from a Ghurka many years ago.

A small boy had wandered off from his village and suddenly found himself confronted by a hungry snow leopard. The leopard went for him, so the boy fled but as he ran he slipped and fell over a cliff.

As the boy fell, he managed to grab a vine and was left hanging. He managed to get a better grip, but as he did he heard growling below him. When he looked down, he saw the snow leopard's partner prowling below him.

As the boy hung swaying in the breeze, he suddenly realised the vine was chafing through above him. Looking about him for a way out, he spotted a small, scrubby naspati (a type of pear) with a single, misshapen and not quite ripe fruit hanging from it.

The boy reached out, plucked the fruit and ate it. It was the best, most delicious piece of fruit he'd ever eaten...

[Milims]

Nev - thank you for trusting us enough to share your story - I feel honoured and I'm really happy for you that you've found your peace and love at last. You are an inspiration

[Wombat]

I like this story that I heard from a Ghurka many years ago.

A small boy had wandered off from his village and suddenly found himself confronted by a hungry snow leopard. The leopard went for him, so the boy fled but as he ran he slipped and fell over a cliff.

As the boy fell, he managed to grab a vine and was left hanging. He managed to get a better grip, but as he did he heard growling below him. When he looked down, he saw the snow leopard's partner prowling below him.

As the boy hung swaying in the breeze, he suddenly realised the vine was chafing through above him. Looking about him for a way out, he spotted a small, scrubby naspati (a type of pear) with a single, misshapen and not quite ripe fruit hanging from it.

The boy reached out, plucked the fruit and ate it. It was the best, most delicious piece of fruit he'd ever eaten...

The Ghurka got it from Buddha - except in Buddhas' version the vine is being chewed through by two mice, one black, one white.........and the fruit was a strawberry

Can you interpret it for us Stoney?

Nev

[Wombat]

Thanks for your positive responses guys

Nev

[Millymollymandy]

Nev, I read that yesterday but I haven't said anything because I don't know what to say to things like that, same as when someone dies I guess. I sit staring at a blank reply scene with no words coming into my head!

Glad you got it sorted anyway!

[Wombat]

Nev, I read that yesterday but I haven't said anything because I don't know what to say to things like that, same as when someone dies I guess. I sit staring at a blank reply scene with no words coming into my head!

I can understand that!

Nev

[Andy Hamilton]

Nev, I read that yesterday but I haven't said anything because I don't know what to say to things like that, same as when someone dies I guess. I sit staring at a blank reply scene with no words coming into my head!

Glad you got it sorted anyway!

I know what you mean M3. We all do it in 'real life' as well I sat there for a while looking at Nev's post and wondered what to say, thanks for posting seemed not to be enough as it I found it quite comforting.

As for stoneys story, to me it seems to be a story about appreciating everything you have in life.

[Boots]

Sharing is such a powerful gift, Nev... and I sooooooo needed to wake up, stagger over to comp, coffee in hand to find your words this morning.

You are so very worthy... such a loving and loveable guy. I'm so glad you came to this place, inside your own skin I mean, where you were compelled to share it. I figure that is when we are truly overflowing.

Our parental relationships... the ones who guide us, protect us and provide that loving buffer when things become difficult to understand and/or accept... I believe they are so very important, so integral to our being.

Yesterday I took a busload of kids to a youth festival. It was a drink and drug free event, and such a lot of preparation went into getting my crew 'headstrong' and ready to enjoy this day. I have a large number of young people who live independently and either use or drink regularly, and a small number who had very recently made decisions to get clean.

I spent much of yesterday shrugging at the high-handedness of many youth workers and event organisers, and moving in to support my kids emotionally, mentally and at times physically, when they were challenged by what they felt were assaults by very tired, overworked and just plain busy staff set on making and changing rules for most of the day.

I saw every single one of my crew make it... from 9am to midnight... without using, without drinking. We came home with a few titles... Champion bull rider, Most social person, Quickest rock wall climb and two of the guys held both the gladiator post and the sumo suit wrestling ring. I was so proud of them. So inspired.

Despite the fact it was a Youth Event geared around mental health and drink/drug free living... we found ourselves amongst a majority clean crowd. Many of the other centres were christian organisations and they had selected their kids based on good behavior and many were quite a bit younger. If I chose my kids on good behaviour I'd have had an empty bus!

I have great kids... don't get me wrong... they are very real and honest. They come to me with their realities and I accept those realities for what they are...life. They steal, fight, cry, love, use, abuse, they do what they do. I wish I could pretend that I had never done any of those things in my life, but I can't.

My crew were immediately identified as different. Looked upon warily and referred to negatively by organisers. They are majority street or city kids who somehow or other have found themselves living in or around a tiny rural town. I had a few moments where I felt very frustrated by organisers attempts to go up against my kids for sitting in the wrong places, talking in the wrong way or too loudly, not interacting appropriately... that kind of thing... to me it was so trivial, nitpicking that could unravel my lot very quickly, and in some situations did.

It was about 5pm when I had a group of slashers (from another group)approach me, and ask me about what happens to their hearts when they cut themselves. They wanted the facts on this, and had just been to the hospital tent and they had refused to tell them and sent them away with a 'Don't do that'... Does it speed up and pump more blood?

I realised right there, amidst all the frustrating rules and boundary enforcement, deep breaths and shrugs, why I was there. The world is full of folks who pretend... things need to look right, and fit into neat boxes... and then they can say things are right. Some folks like the surface stuff. That's ok, they can look after that if they want. Someone has to.

Give me the real heart matters anyday.

Sometimes I think as adults we forget... or maybe just get caught up in the now and forget why we are here... lose sight of the purpose of things. The reason we are where we are at. I'm not here to provide the 'standard response'... my life just would not permit it.

I think I made a bit of a difference in a lot of kids lives yesterday. I stood quietly and firmly stood for their heart values... their choices, their right to be there, their right to make a few mistakes and make another decision. They are young people growing up in a world with lots of people who call themselves adults and have decided they are better than others, have all the answers, and think just because they have become good at pretending, they can make the rules.

Yesterday was life changing for me, and tomorrow probably will be to.