telling others you want to home ed your kids

[ina]

I had a sad conversation with DH last night. My 15 yo year 10 stepson lives with us and is totally disengaged with school despite being one of the brightest in his year.

I was the same - I hate this strict, age controlled system here that means that if you don't conform to the standard for your age group you are basically out! I struggled through school - but that wasn't so bad; that was Germany in the 70s, and I wasn't considered beyond rescue. I just took my time, went off working abroad for a few years after school, came back with fluent English, and did extremely well at college and uni after that. So what? Can't do that now (even in Germany) without being thought beyond "normal".

[MrsD'ville]

Sounds like a great post-school experience. We're hoping Ss will really spread his wings after school, but he appears to be 100% without drive of any sort whatsoever, which worries me. If you're not going to do well at school you kind of need something else to get you through, so we live in hope that SS will discover hidden talents or somehow be motivated in a way that we're failing to achieve. It's so hard at this age when you can see them wasting their chances but you can't do it for them, they really need to work out for themselves what's going to work for them. It's especially tough out here as there are so few employers and so few opportunities. Ah well, what will be will be - at least we know he doesn't want to be home educated: they all had an unofficial two days off when both cars were dead, and whereas 6 yo DD loved it (and more or less hasn't stopped going on about it since), both skids said they'd go out of their minds at home all day!

[ina]

Sounds like a great post-school experience. We're hoping Ss will really spread his wings after school, but he appears to be 100% without drive of any sort whatsoever, which worries me. If you're not going to do well at school you kind of need something else to get you through, so we live in hope that SS will discover hidden talents or somehow be motivated in a way that we're failing to achieve. It's so hard at this age when you can see them wasting their chances but you can't do it for them, they really need to work out for themselves what's going to work for them.

Judging from my own experience - don't worry. I'm sure my parents did, though - but I managed not to get into bad company, and to do well in the end.

[KellyB]

Different things are good for different people and I really don't think it's anyones business to tell a parent what is good or bad for their child. I personally won't HE Saffie BUT I will back her education up at home and teach her the extras that I want her to know. But that is MY choice which would probably not be questioned but it doesn't mean someone else can't successfully HE their child. Good luck to those dedicated people who choose to HE you need support not people rolling their eyes. I mean grand parents might have something they can teach the little ones too they are full of life knowledge which often gets lost. Life is a lesson and everyone you meet teaches you something even if you don't agree with what they tell you, life experiences, travel every little thing you do there is always something to learn. Right stepping down off the soap box now lol

[MrsD'ville]

The Herefordshire Home Ed group has just made a film, in local libraries from next week, I'm quite excited! I don't think DH will ever change his mind, but I'm going to continue to inform myself about the local Home Ed scene.

[baldowrie]

I know I am still half asleep and in need of a cuppa but Kelly have I missed something?

Whose rolling eyes at home edders and why are you so defencive about your right to choice school or home ed? What has been said to suggest otherwise?

[barefootlinzi]

Mrs D'ville,

Can you tell me more about the film and where to get hold of it? I want to home ed Ollie but OH is not convinced so a film that I can show him might help me show him that I am not delusional!

[MrsD'ville]

Hi. I don't know anything about the film beyond that the children have made it (because one of them had an interest in film-making and they won a grant to buy the eqpt) and it's in libraries next week. I'll let you know more when I've seen it - sorry, not very helpful!

[AXJ]

Home education is not even an option where I live, my sprogs learn more at home than they do at school that is for sure. The really tough part about living in Spain is that 'professionals' such as teachers, doctors and social workers, really do not believe that the common person is entitled to an opinion. If you tell them that you understand their 'subject' area, they treat you with a combination of pity and scorn. Try to step on your rights, and bingo the social workers think that they have to intervene and take over your life completely... it nearly happened to me after shaving (grade 1) my son's head (and my own) after the umpteenth time he came home from school with lice, and I was literally sick of the chemicals we had to use. It does not occur to social workers that perhaps they need to intervene at the school... no home education... also no nitty nora either.

They will take a year to come to the very conclusion that you offered at the beginning, 'little Tommy is very bright, and he is not stimulated enough at school' , apparently a four year degree course is required to form that opinion...

If you can do home education in the early years, and you have the discipline to carry it through, I think it is the best thing for children who don't have special needs. The state just wants to indoctrinate and separate our children, god forbid that they might grow up like their parents!!

[GingerKatieSparkles]

Mrs D'ville,

Can you tell me more about the film and where to get hold of it? I want to home ed Ollie but OH is not convinced so a film that I can show him might help me show him that I am not delusional!

You could also take a look at this book http://www.amazon.co.uk/Free-Range-Educ ... 602&sr=1-1 - it's a selection of articles by people in the UK who home educate (and a few of the kids too) and it really gives a flavour of the many different ways it can work out. If school is all you've ever known, it is hard to imagine the alternative as anything other than either a long boring summer holiday or trying to do school at your kitchen table without any equipment!

We're planning on HE'ing the girls, who are currently 2 and 1. Lots of reasons - no particular bad experiences in school, we both did well academically and were generally bored high achievers, iyswim. We'll just see how it works out, I've looked at Steiner and Montessori and am reading a lot on unschooling and autonomous education. Hopefully it'll just naturally progress and we'll see what we need to do for them - I'm thinking "self-directed learning" at the moment; I think we'll fall shy of full-on autonomy because we'll get wobbly at any "sitting watching TV for two weeks is also leaning" moments (not that we have a TV :)). We're very rural too and dd1 is very sociable (she will only accept nappy changes that are followed by "out playing?") so we'll see how that goes - I'm starting to make contacts through EO but at this age not many people have thought of HE, at the moment it is looking like a lot of driving Actually the 3-6ish age will be the hardest for that I think; from 6 or 7 there are evening groups she can go to (badgers, sports, brownies etc).

I was really worried about telling my mum (a teacher - in fact she home eds kids who are out of school for medical reasons for the LA) in the end end I told some friends and forgot she was there and she was very supportive (I think the "defend my own" response kicked in as their response was "I couldn't imagine anything worse"). dh's parents have also been supportive as I think they think it's just like a really elite private school - one-to-two (or more in future....) tuition from a Cambridge grad :) I'm not sure how the unschooling/autonomous approach will go down though!

[AXJ]

very best of luck to you, I believe what you are doing is wonderful, I wish I could have done the same.