In a word - yes! Although about a year later he behaved in such a way that I had the threaten to smack him again - so I told him to take his trousers off in preparation. About 5 mins later he threatened to run away so I opened the door for him, but when he asked for his trousers I told him that if he really thought I was so bad that he had to run away he would do it without being bothered about wearing trousers! He decided to stay home!Graye wrote: However I love the slow build up approach to the controlled smacking. Did the "dread factor" actually work? Also, I suspect I see more boys than girls being particularly difficult as toddlers. Is this likely?
I think that because I've always tried to use punishment to fit the crime, (eg throwing a temper tantrum in the street when he did, or giving him a full face of makeup in his sleep and not nagging him to wash his face in the morning, or taking him to see the inside of a police cell accompanied by a stern talking to from a policeman when he stole from my purse) I've somehow managed to show him that the effects of his behaviour don't feel nice, rather than just painful. I think that part of the trouble with smacking instantly is that children don't end up understanding how their behaviour affects others, because the don't feel how it affects them IYKWIM. They don't feel the embarrassment, hurt, humiliation etc that throwing a tantrum gives when they are throwing it and the only way they are going to know how it feels is if they experience it themselves and then decide whether or not they like it and want to feel that way. Children are clean slates, they have lots to experience, both positive and negative, in order to make an informed decision about how they want to behave in life. If the only information we give is that certain behaviours end in pain then that's not very productive. Obviously there are things that we want them to know in a safe manner will end in pain - like sticking your fingers in a socket - and therefore something like a flick on the back of the hand will work to stop it, but how will they know what the rest feels like if they never have the opportunity to feel it?
It just happens that this method works for me and mine and it's what we feel comfortable with. I'm also trying to prepare them for what happens when they leave the happy bubble - although I do have to say that the nasty experiences they've had with the real world so far have (sadly) shown them, in no uncertain terms, what it can offer. As to totally gentle, rational parent - far from it! I guess you just didn't see the temper tantrum I threw in the street when he did! 
