Daft quotes from being ish

[Gert]

I know I shouldn't laugh but....

I tell people we have chickens for eggs.... "oh, how many?" they ask
"two" I say
"oh, one of each?" they ask
"one of each what?" I say
"a boy and a girl"
"no, 2 girls" says I
"And you still get eggs"

Every time, without fail..... How many people missed day one in biology?

a classic

[invisiblepiper]

My Mum -
' those flowers in your window box just look like lettuce.....'

[MuddyWitch]

Many Moons ago, my Mum was having a little 'do' to welcome her new neighbours:

'Don't tell the neighbours that these are your tomatoes, we don't want them thinking we're poor'

MW

[Millymollymandy]

Muddy, that's my favourite!

[Thomzo]

Not an Ish saying but just over nine years ago I was explaining to one of our secretaries what the year 2000 bug was all about. Her reply was:

"Oh, did they have the same problem at the start of the last century then?"

When I first said that I made greetings cards out of recycled paper, one person was heard to comment:

"OK, I suppose, as long as she doesn't use recycle loo paper."

Cheers
Zoe

[thesunflowergal]

Zoe just reminded me of something my Mother said. When I told her that I had bought recycled loo roll, she said that she would not use something that someone had already wiped their bum on!! Bless her.

[Rosendula]

When I went to the allotment recently my next-plot neighbour was there. He complained to me about all the caterpillars and told me he squashes them with his fingers When he asked me if I do that too, I told him that I'm too squeamish and can't bring myself to squash them. He laughed and told me it HAS to be done because .....

"It's a case of kill or be killed"

Killer caterpillars on the loose. Aaaarrrrgggghhh!

[lovelygreenleaves]

When I went to the allotment recently my next-plot neighbour was there. He complained to me about all the caterpillars and told me he squashes them with his fingers When he asked me if I do that too, I told him that I'm too squeamish and can't bring myself to squash them. He laughed and told me it HAS to be done because .....

"It's a case of kill or be killed"

Killer caterpillars on the loose. Aaaarrrrgggghhh!

!!! I always move them and give them something else to munch on... bit worried I'm breeding KILLER CATERPILLARS now!

[Gem]

and one of my favorites when discovering that myself and Dave are twins -

"It must be like looking in the mirror...........twice". ?!?


I have heard that one a few times with my twinney other half. Another good one

'Oh you both into this 'recycling thing' then? Is it genetic?'

Yes, yes it is...

[mrsflibble]

James can out with funny one earlier.
"why do you want to make a compost bin? why don't we just buy one?"


ok, my answer.....

1. it's far cheaper to make one.
2. we can make it fit our garden, rather than having to make our garden fit the compost bin
3. we can make it whatever size we want and finally
4. why the hell do you think i asked you to bring home those wooden packing sheets from the starter motors you use at work?!

(btw his work just bin them so he asked his supervisor if he could take some, supervisor said "dunno why not, why the hell would you want those?!")