The arrogance of the stinking rich

[Stonehead]

I was just out cutting back the grass along the road boundary when a very new Porsche Cayenne stopped and a 40ish chap with an expensive hairstyle and the "smart gent in the country" look (Thomas Pink shirt, cavalry twill trousers, brown chukka boots etc) got out.

He introduced himself as XXXX and after the usual daft comments about the weather, asked if we were thinking of selling.

I told him "No", but he started on about how we "had the just the sort of place his wife wanted for weekends", "with a coat of white paint on the walls and black on the doors and windows, it would look superb", "there appears to be space for a covered pool", "do you have stables and an arena" etc.

I told him the croft was not for sale, and he replied "what about for £280,000 then?". I was starting to get fed up by now, and told him very definitely "the place is not for sale".

He then started asking if I worked the place full-time, how I couldn't be making much of a living from it and wouldn't my wife like something a bit more comfortable.

He then said, "Look everyone has a price, how about £300,000 and I'll pay your legal fees and moving expenses..."

At which point I told him he was now trespassing and should leave. He tried to give me his business card - in case I changed my mind - but I refused.

He then drove off, having spoiled a good day with his arrogance and cheek.

Ooh, I loathe people like that.

Stonehead

PS Thinking about it, I'm probably daft as his second offer would have cleared the mortgage and given us a very big chunk of money. But, no way - the croft is not for sale and especially not to the likes of him. Now I just have to tell the OH when she gets in!

[Andy Hamilton]

good on you stonehead. I just wish there were more people like you in the world not selling. A place for the weekend indeed, what a waste of a building. - and how rude of him to tell you that he would do it up.

I'll give you £350 000 for it

[Stonehead]

good on you stonehead. I just wish there were more people like you in the world not selling. A place for the weekend indeed, what a waste of a building. - and how rude of him to tell you that he would do it up.

I'll give you £350 000 for it

To be quite frank, I'd sell the croft to someone like you (or any of the other Ishers) for £3.50 before seeing it go to the likes of him. Not that it's for sale for any figure, I hasten to add!

Stonehead

[Martin]

there's quite a lot of tasteless twonk breadheads as QCs these days - look at that dreadful Cherry Bliar creature!
Good for you - a revolting peasant!

[Stonehead]

there's quite a lot of tasteless twonk breadheads as QCs these days - look at that dreadful Cherry Bliar creature!
Good for you - a revolting peasant!

Funny - the auto censor didn't get you for twonk. It must have a different meaning to one I know, which is a verb for a sexual act!

Stonehead

[Tigerhair]

So it's mine for £3.50 then!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks....

[ina]

Maybe you should have taken his card to get his name - and complained about him wherever you can complain about QCs for harrassment. Or got it in the papers...

That's one above those cars with inbuilt right of way - automatic right of ownership because of bank balance? Anyway, what sad creatures they must be - need a special place for weekends to be happy... Their Monday to Friday life must be very unhappy, then?

[Shirley]

Funny - the auto censor didn't get you for twonk. It must have a different meaning to one I know

I had to google for the definition...

[Andy Hamilton]

so only blokes can twonk then, but women (and men) can be twonked you learn something new every day.

[Shirley]

[Millymollymandy]

What dictionary are you guys using then? I can only find twonk = idiot, which is what I thought it meant anyway.

Stoney - you do get some interesting 'visitors'!

[Stonehead]

Stoney - you do get some interesting 'visitors'!

You don't know the half of it!

Thinking back over the past couple of years, we've had two people wanting to buy the place, two groups of rude ramblers, more than a score of friendly ramblers (including a huge group of over-60s walkers), several cycle groups (including a group of very camp gay cyclists), a Swedish geomancer, a dodgy German trying to sell us stainless steel utensils, a diviner with the biggest nose I've ever seen, several druids, more horse riders than I can remember, a photographer, various Travellers, the fire service, and dozens of lost couriers and truck drivers. Oh, and Shirley!!!!

We get far more visitors in a "quiet" spot in the country than we ever did in country towns, the suburbs or the city.

Stonehead

[Stonehead]

so only blokes can twonk then, but women (and men) can be twonked you learn something new every day.

I know far too many rude words and phrases, thanks mainly to my previous job where I always had to be aware of which words/phrases to leave out when reporting people's speech.

To make life even more interesting, words and phrases differ in useage not just from country to country but from region to region within countries.

To give a couple of examples from newspaper headlines and bills...

Police probe baby's snatch

Man caught playing with chopper
(In this case he was fooling about with a helicopter)

Dad gets big tool for Father's Day
(He got a jackhammer.)

And my favourite

Bill enjoys hand relief
(A bloke with a very nasty skin condition on his hands finally got treatment.)

All genuine - we managed to catch the first one before it was published but all the rest ended up in print...

Stonehead

[AnnetteR]

I'm not sure which is more amusing, the headlines or the way that man must have felt when you sent him away without even taking his card.

[albert onglebod]

Yuk sounds like the bloke my OH was arresting for drink driving .
He said 'I pay your wages!'
My OH said 'no you dont ,I do this for free' (he is a special constable).
Good man Stonehead!
Good thing he didnt know about the croft near you that was being sold by Auction or you might have ended up getting him as your neighbour.