Hey you is that my garden???

[Andy Hamilton]

Anyone catch this article the other day?

On a lighter note Emma (OH) left a tomato on the outside windowsill last weekend, it stayed there for 3 days unguarded and was there when we got back from Ilfracombe!

[The Chili Monster]

Earlier this year, MSN or Wanadoo (now Orange) - can't remember which - ran a similar article from their homepage, with lots of links to insurance companies, of course!

[PurpleDragon]

My MIL lives in a largish town, and woke up one morning to find that all her garden ornaments had been nicked.

Their garden is behind a 7' wall, behind the house so you can't see it, and you can only access it by either going over the wall (which is onto other gardens) or thru a narrow gate. The gate is right beside her side door, and a lot of the ornaments were in her patio area that is right outside her bedroom door.

The thing that bothered her most was that someone was lurking around about 5' from where she was sleeping and she didn't hear a thing.

[Stonehead]

The problem is that the police often don't take it seriously. The theft of 30 carrots, a plum tree stripped of its fruit, eight eggs here, a dozen eggs there, raspberries dug out - all minor to the police. But to us, that's a lot of food that we then have to buy.

However, the hawthorn, blackthorn and dog rose are growing well, the gooseberries are pretty nasty on their own, and there are thickets of nettles. There's also the electric fence, of course.

I'm tempted to put up signs saying "Biohazard - Experimental Crops Sprayed with Untreated Pig Manure"...

[Shirley]

just wander around smelling like you probably did this evening after fixing the trough... :)

Did hear on the news today that they caught the bloke that nicked the rabbits and guinea pigs - I know it's nothing in comparison to the theft of 21 goats and 15 chickens... also a local Aberdeenshire happening...

[PurpleDragon]

Someone suggested to me that I put up a sign saying

Warning! Bird Flu!

because I've got chickens and could really scare off the burglars.

[Andy Hamilton]

Hmm you could go a stage further and mock up something offical looking.

[Shirley]

ROFLMAOPMP!!!!!

[The Chili Monster]

Brilliant!

[PurpleDragon]

Nice one!

I shall save that for the next time I find someone ruking around my garage

[Andy Hamilton]

When I lived in Bath I lived right in the centre opposite what was locally known as pigeon park. It was really just a square of grass with some benches in it.

It was always full of pigeons and young goths. I decided that it might be funny to put an official notice up. So I copied the Bath council logo, stuck it on a word doc with a notice that read something like.

In a recent councilors meeting it has been deemed correct to refer to section 14.2 of the parks and open spaces leglislation.

Section 14.2 refers to the congreation of Goths in public places, this area is now a goth free zone. Due to amendments in local bylaw, implemented in a meeting of 13.3.04 this now extends to New metalers and Skate dudes.

Any person or person(s) of said describiton entering this park will be subject to repremand in conjuction with the powers vested by the Parks and open spaces commision.

I laminated it and stuck it up on the gates each side of the park. I then would have a look out my window from time to time to see the reaction. Some people stopped and read it when walking passed and smiled, some sort of frowned and one drunk girl blathered on about what a discrace it was and how dare the council discriminate against a section of the population. - Her freinds tried to tell that it was a joke - "It's no joke, this is racism". The strangest thing happened over the three days that it stayed up the park did not have a single goth in it, coincidence?

BTW - I have nothing against goths, they just worked best for the joke. It thought of putting Chav's but decided that it would be less likely to be read.

[PurpleDragon]

[digiveg]

One of my farmer friends told me that he had 5 steers rustled early this year. He lives in a very quiet village in Dorset, despite which it's almost impossible to to anything that doesn't get noticed by the neighbours. So, I didn't really believe him, as he was always complaining that he's not been able to sell cattle for ages due to exposure to TB...but now I'm not sure.