Selfsufficientish the soap opera

[Wombat]

The End









Or is it?

[Stonehead]

Shirley drew a deep breath and looked back toward the house.
The phone jeered a relentless 'Come and get me' as she dropped her trowel,

Whoa! I thought that was a pretty racy start - until I realised the word was trowel, not towel!!!

- - -

PS Yes, I'm slow off the mark but I have a sick boy at home today and am using the opportunity to catch up with my reading here.

[Andy Hamilton]

Yes, I'm slow off the mark but I have a sick boy at home today and am using the opportunity to catch up with my reading here.

.... exclaimed stonehead to the Dean at the Nene Universtity in Northampton. He then trundled off to the libary and had a look at the multi level modeling for appiled social sciences section.

[digiveg]

o mi god - here we go againnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn...................

[Boots]

Meanwhile in cyberspace... Boots grabbed a handful of baling twine and bundled up the Relentless Robot of Conclusion,(aka Digivege), gagged and hog tied him before dragging him through the timeless tunnel of cyber storytelling behind her steel steed. He continued to object from behind his gag, grunting and flailing about as he objected at every turn above the heads of the self-sufficient storytellers...

Ugh...er....Grrrr....mmmm....ah....Gonna get.... Ugh...grrr

Turning tightly, and swinging her cargo in a wide arc behind her, Boots brought the objectionable cargo to a ceremonious conclusion, where it lay struggling and grumbling in her pig pen.

Stepping from her metal horse, she strolled toward the unimpressed Digivege.

Unable to locate a Croc Dundee knife, she grabbed a piece of baling twine and using friction, released his binds. He rose slowly dusting the cyberdust from his collar and straightening his back with a moan.

Tossing him a hat and a decent pair of boots, she gestured for him to follow her.

"You're in OZ now, Toto!" she said grinning, "We're off to see the Wizard!"

********

Somewhere above the Funky Forest, Hedqewizard and his band of Merry Men were....

[digiveg]

Welll...!
...............!
.........................!
........................................!
............................................................!

Humph!

[Boots]

[Wombat]

Fortunatley the wizard (HEDGEwizard to be precise) was watching through is magic water butt and saw the whole thing.

"Hmmmm" he thought, "I've been sprung.............and they're heading in my direction!".

Knowing that he was likely to come off the worst in any encounter with "The Veg" as Digiveg was known all over the known multiverse, and being unsure where Boots stood on the whole Vegan vs Vegetarian issue, he knew he had to take action........

[Stonehead]

Fortunatley the wizard (HEDGEwizard to be precise) was watching through is magic water butt and saw the whole thing.

"Hmmmm" he thought, "I've been sprung.............and they're heading in my direction!".

Knowing that he was likely to come off the worst in any encounter with "The Veg" as Digiveg was known all over the known multiverse, and being unsure where Boots stood on the whole Vegan vs Vegetarian issue, he knew he had to take action........

And so with a vigorous shake of his magic butt, Hedgewizard let rip a mighty wind spell that summoned the omnipotent and all knowing furred fiend - the Mighty Wombat.

"Oh Insightful Wombat, Knower of all Things Knowable and First Crank of the Universe, how can we prevent the Relentless Robot of Conclusion from pulling the the plug on the the soap after just 38 episodes?"

The Wombat, spluttered, coughed, ummed and ahhed, wrinkling his fiendishly furry face in a way that completely unnerved &^&$%$ (the being formerly known as Hedgewizard).

"Oh Great Being, we need an answer..." he prompted.

Finally the First Crank of the Universe spoke: "****** Weetabix with **** Vegemite. Makes me ***** choke every time. The answer to your question is... ISH! ISH ISH ISH!"

And the Wombat vanished amidst a great cloud of derris dust that set back the genetic development of caterpillars by 1,000 years and thwarted their plans to become masters of the universe.

The being formerly known as Hedgewizard sighed. "Ish, everything is Ish," he muttered. But looking around his garden, he suddenly smiled, "Still, the cabbages are safe for another millennium".

[Boots]

With a whooosh, Hedgewizard lifted the blimp into the air. Dave and Andy swapped hats in preparation for the journey to Australia, and Muddy sharpened his turnip in readiness.

Nev looked warily from the now silent flat screen and then into Hedgewizards magic butt, and back to the blank screen.

"Any mushrooms left?" he asked Hedgie just as a psychadelic puff of smoke appeared between the twins and he saw.....

[digiveg]

...the Relentless Robot of, er, whatever it was (?) stumping along behind with a face like a damp stormcloud on a sunny Monday morning.

'Humph!' it clattered, robot-ishly. 'Humph again, I say! T'wasn't me, t'was 'Edgie - I never said 'roll credits', did I? And it isn't my fault if Bootsie is in a dioxin-potato-induced state of colonialiazation, is it? I mean...besides, if it wasn't for me, 'Edgie wouldn't have found 3 romans yesterday, would he? I mean...ASK 'im, g'wan, ASK 'im!'

And, munching another cep from his Magic Bag in a desolate (but hey - zingy, once you get used to 'em) sort of a way, he folornly sat down on a passing politician, wondering why the universe was so unfair. After all, he'd never once tried to bottle a chicken in his life...

[Boots]

"Holy semantics, Batman. You never cease to amaze me! Good to see you Digi" said Hedgie
"No time for compliments, Robin." said Andy "We must thwart some criminals. To the ishmobile! Quick!"