On the first day...
Carry half a dozen eight-feet long strainer posts 150-200 metres, mainly up hill.
Carry 10 bundles of four fencing stobs (3in posts, 5ft6in long) up the same hill.
Drive in 10 stobs with a 5.5kg maul and a 20kg post driver.
Catch an 80-100kg boar, tip him on his bum and hold him still while the vet checks his bollocks.
Have a light lunch.
Drive in another 20 stobs with maul and post driver.
Decide to move pig arc, so walk inside, take the weight on your shoulders and walk around the hill until you find the place with the best view. Dodge 80-100kg pigs while carrying arc on shoulders.
Drive in another 10 stobs with maul and post driver.
Play rugby with small boys.
Die!
Later...
Add other exercises, such as:
Haul or push a dual axle, heavy livestock trailer out of mud without a 4wd or tractor.
Drag pig arcs around the field with a rope harness hitched over your shoulders.
Dig 400sqm of hard packed dirt with a crowbar and 5kg mattock.
Fell 20 trees (8in diameter) with a felling axe, then lop off branches with axe, and saw into length with a bowsaw.
Unload 100 bales of straw, carry 50m and stack. Then unload two tonnes of bagged barley, carry 50m and stack. Then lift and empty each 25kg bag into the feed bins.
Catch an injured ewe, sling her on your shoulders and then carry her downhill to the byre - in three feet deep snow while blowing a gale.
Move 50-60 large stones 100m and stack. Lift, shuffle, drop. Lift, shuffle, drop. Lift, shuffle, drop.
Mow an acre of hay. In a day. With a scythe.
Top the boundaries of a seven-acre croft. In a day. On rough ground. With a scythe.
Lift and carry three 55-60kg pig carcases (not at once!) 50 metres from the truck to the butcher's shop while dodging small children, buggies, dogs and little old ladies.
Turn one tonne of muck into a new muck box. Then shift another tonne into the emptied box. Then shift another tonne into that box. With a muck fork.
Plough a field. By hand with a wheeled plough.
Hmm, guess I should cut down on the
!
PS Any suggestions for the soundtrack?
