How would you like your funeral to be?

[Andy Hamilton]

Morbid question I know, but unfortunately we went to my Grans funeral yesterday so this is why I mention it.

I got to thinking about the waste that funerals make, cremation uses a lot of energy. Burial will eventually use a lot of land (for many people of corse). The cars in the procession use a lot of fuel. I thought that perhaps the hurst could be electric as it does not have to go so fast.

I think that I would like to be buried and have a apple tree planted ontop of me, a tree that fruits in mid August so that people who visit me on my brithday can have an apple or two whilst looking at my final resting place. Or even brew up some cider and drink to my memory.

The coffin would be made of cardboard so that it would decompose. I am not sure about what kind of cerimony I would like as I am not a church goer. I would prefer some kind of celebration of my life rather than mourning for my death. After all at most funerals you get to see people that you have not seen for ages and it is always a mix of mourning and socialising.

[den_the_cat]

sorry to hear about your Gran Andy/Dave

There's a place in Brighton does eco funerals, cardboard coffin and tree planted on top of you which did always strike me as rather nice. And I'd want everyone to get very drunk and have a good time - sort of Irish Wake rather than depressingly funerial, all of our family ones end up like that anyway and I cant stand the thought that people would be crying rather than laughing at the end.

The religious thing is a problem for me, I'm not religious but having been to several non religious burials/cremations I have to say they lack something. Its great that the people doing the talking actually know the person they're talking about, but there never seems to be the right structure or something seems missing. Perhaps I'm a closet praying type after all.....

[Pilsbury]

my mum is in a green plot with my nan and uncle, uncle went in first and its near to where he lived then mum passed and she ended up with her brother as they always got on then when nan passed she was put with her kids.
Loverly site full of flowers and trees and quite a few edibles as well like elder, sloes and other stuff. Intended this year to go down and pick some stuff for hedgerow jelly but never got a chance.
[/img]

[Shirley]

I'm very sorry to hear about your gran Andy & Dave.

There is a natural burial ground up here too and I'd rather go there than in some cemetary with expensive headstones and coffins costing thousands of pounds... and people do feel obliged to buy the best for their loved ones.

I'd definitely like a tree planted for me though... in fact I'd like every single one of my friends to plant a tree... there need be no fancy ceremony and it can be a tree of their choice, but I'd hope that it was one native to their area.

I'm with you on the celebration bit Andy - and everyone should wear purple - my favourite colour... none of this black stuff... and I want people to be able to laugh and not think sad thoughts... cheerful songs if any...

Have you ever seen the poem The Dash?? I used it as a guide when I had to speak at my dad's funeral - it's not the year of birth that matters, nor the year of death.. but the little dash in between. I'm trying to spend mine well :) http://www.lindaslyrics.com/thedashpoem.html

[Clarabel]

My thoughts are with you, it's a very difficult time.

I lost someone recently and it does make you think, about a lot of stuff really. I've always maintained that I want people to remember me where they feel close to my memory and that shouldn't be mandated and restricted to having to go to a graveyard or cemetary. So ideally I suppose I'd like to be cremated and scattered somewhere pretty, by water probably. I do appreciate this isn't the most eco friendly option and may reconsider.

That said, I don't suppose it matters to much to me, I wo't be around!

I definitely would want my funeral to be a celebration, and I always feel that when someone is celebrating something for me there shouldn't be restrictions on clothing. I wouldn't want people to feel they had to wear black to my funeral. I want my loved ones to be comfortable and be themselves. Certainly at my friends funeral there were people in black, but since I never really wear black I wore brightly coloured patchwork, my friend would have been confused to see me in anything else probably!

I also don't do religion, and in fact it sometimes makes me quite uncomfortable, when people speak from the heart its much more comforting to me so thats probably the only caveat I would really want. Leave God out of it cos it had no business in my life so why should it in death!

Clare

[PurpleDragon]

So sorry to hear you lost yor granny, guys. Grannies are great.

When we lost my Dad back in March, we asked some of his friends if they could stand up for him at his funeral, and they were thrilled. Dad was a real character (much in the vein of Victor Meldrew) and so they had lots of material. Everyone was laughing at their tales and it was a real celebration of the folk who knew him.

We did have a Minister (coz Mum can't fathom a funeral without) but he ended up really just Master of Ceremonies, introducing the folk who actually knew him.

Mum and I will be planting some trees on my land shortly - there is a place up here that does bare root trees but he isn't lifting them till November time.

I've written my own service already, and update it periodically. Kahlil Gibran gets a good look in right now. It may change :)

[multiveg]

Sorry to hear about your Gran. I miss mine who died nearly 15 years ago.

My dad was cremated - we had a sort of humanist ceremony - the humanist chappe was very good, think he was from Grimsby, but he couldn't stay for the wake as a friend of his wasn't very well and he had to rush back. I have his ashes in front of the Encyclopedia Britannica (bought for £20 from library) shelf. I can't keep them there forever. Could I scatter them on the allotment/compost heap ? - He was the one who introduced me to gardening. I loved going to the plot (or was it because the lido was surrounded by the allotments).

I sometimes thought I'd like my body to go to medical science - so student doctors could dissect me. Where I live, there isn't a medical school (there's a nursing one though) at the local university.

As an aside, I did a creative writing course with the Open University (awaiting results for Christmas) and I had an idea for a story - murder on the allotments and the character was going to dispose of the body on the plot. I couldn't decide, so I am still left with the idea in my head.

Was it on Eastenders that there was a funeral whereby the coffin was transported by horse & cart?

[PurpleDragon]

Was it on Eastenders that there was a funeral whereby the coffin was transported by horse & cart?

Dont know about Eastenders, but in the village where we used to live, a 3-year-old girl was killed in a road accident, and they put her little coffin on a pony & trap to go thru the village before burial.

I didn't see it , though

[shiney]

Sorry to hear about your Gran, Andy. Grandparents are very important and I learnt so much from my grandad.

Tracey and I went to a green funerals place, whilst we were on holiday in Watchet in Somerset. It was a tiny little shop, but the lady there was so helpful. We bought a living will from her, so that we could fill it in with our wishes.

She had a fair trade basket casket, which I would quite like to be buried in, with a tree planted on top in a field or woodland. Nice and simple, no fuss, no black attire and a celebration of my life with a knees up afterwards. I know that losing someone is a very painful time, but that would be my wishes.

The lady also told us we could go without any embalming chemicals as well, providing you are kept in the cool and are washed down daily until the funeral. Sounds a bit grim but it was so interesting to get all the info from her.

[Martin]

postponed indefinitely!

[2steps]

sorry about your gran

I don't want anything fancy - seems like a waste. I'd like to have my ashes sent to the moon, don't suppose that's possible though

[dibnah]

Is not being sent to the moon quite fancy I would like my ashes to be scattered on my compost heap.

either that or being put on a wooden boat and set fire to viking style.

[the.fee.fairy]

i want everyone to cry and be really upset!!

Seriously, or rather not. I don't want my funeral to be serious. I want them to play HIM's Join me in Death (or Death Is In Love With Us) whichever i choose in my last moments. I also want Pink's I'm Coming Up.

And...i want everyone to douse my final resting place with plenty of Jack Daniels!!

I want to have the last laugh, and provide the last party...but i'd rather do it while i'm alive than when i'm dead though!

[2steps]

Is not being sent to the moon quite fancy I would like my ashes to be scattered on my compost heap.

either that or being put on a wooden boat and set fire to viking style.

I suppose it is. I've always had a thing for the moon I don't want dressing up and sticking in some fancy expensive coffin, just grab some scraps from a skip and knock one up

[dibnah]

us north lincs folk should stick together, my wife was in Grimsby today not far from scunthorpe.