Growing old disgracefully

[Boots]

A teenage granddaughter comes downstairs for her date with this see-through blouse on and no bra.



Her grandmother just pitched a fit, telling her not to dare go out like that!



The teenager tells her



"Loosen up Grams.



These are modern times.



You gotta let your rose buds show!"



and out she goes.





The next day the teenager comes down stairs, and the grandmother is sitting there with no top on.



The teenager wants to die.



She explains to her grandmother that she has friends coming over



and that it is just not appropriate.....



The grandmother says,



"Loosen up,



Sweetie.



If you can show off your rose buds....










then I can display my hanging baskets!






Happy Gardening.

[Millymollymandy]

[Shirley]

[Muddypause]

I realised a while ago that I am now of an age where there is almost no prospect of me ever again coming into close contact with a pair of firm, fulsome, sticky-outy breasts. For a bloke, this must be one of the most depressing aspects of progressing through middle age.

But then, as I stood in front of the bathroom mirror the other day, I realised that this is not necessarily true...

[Shirley]

ROFLMAO MP!!!!!

[Milims]

Love it!!! In fact I love it so much I rang Chris at work to tell him it!!!
I am of an age where I proudly sport a purple sheep skin-ish hat and matching mittens - with this in mind my friend contacted me one day to tell me that she had just heard the Gorgol Bordello song "Start Wearing purple" and it reminded her of me. The lyrics say something about start wearing purple, your sanity and witts they will all vanish......! Do you think she's trying to tell me something?????

Helen and Chris

[PurpleDragon]

There is a poem about wearing purple when you get 'to a certain age'

Hang about - see if i can find it ...

Here you go

Poem called 'Warning'

When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick the flowers in other people's gardens
And learn to spit.

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
Or only bread and pickle for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.

But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.

by Jenny Joseph

[Milims]

I know it very well - and I'm not in the least bit worried - I've been practising being a batty old bird for the last 20 years and I think its beginning to work!!!
Tee hee - roll on senility!!
Helen and Chris

[Merry]

I think purple quite suits me axcherly
When I got my bus pass I also got a teeshirt that said,
"Don`t put me in a home, I`m not going gaga I`ve always been like this!"

[the.fee.fairy]

arg...i do the purple poem things all the time (except learning to spit...).

And i don't consider myself to be old yet!!

Maybe the stupid woman at work was right - the veg patch has turned me old!

[Wombat]

I realised a while ago that I am now of an age where there is almost no prospect of me ever again coming into close contact with a pair of firm, fulsome, sticky-outy breasts. For a bloke, this must be one of the most depressing aspects of progressing through middle age.

But then, as I stood in front of the bathroom mirror the other day, I realised that this is not necessarily true...

solidarity Bruvver! *raises fist in the air*

[Stonehead]

I feel left out. I've always been disgraceful, so what's left for me when I get old...

[Millymollymandy]

Change that disgraceful black woolly hat for a PURPLE one!

[Stonehead]

Change that disgraceful black woolly hat for a PURPLE one!

I have purple socks and a purple silk shirt! And, I used to have a totally louche dark plum, crushed velvet suit with three-quarter length jacket.

And no, I didn't wear them all at once!

And what's wrong with my hat? It's warm and the smell keeps the bugs away...

[Shirley]

I'm always wearing purple - yes, I've got a purple hat too - and gloves, and my doc marten boots, and trousers, and a skirt, and a fair few tops. I did even toy with dying my hair purple but decided that I wouldn't bother... and NO... before anyone says it... NOT a blue rinse colour

I love that poem PD - I saw it on a little book in a garden centre once and meant to look it up again.

A male friend of mine was asked to be a bridesmaid at a wedding... yes, I did say bridesmaid, and no, he's not gay. Oh, and neither did he have to wear a dress, but he DID have to wear a truly fab purple velvet suit... I've got a photo somewhere but I'd have to check with him first before posting it...especially as he's a policeman