Spouse

[Wombat]

G' day All,

Have been having the odd deep and meaningful with Mrs Wombat about helping out with the self sufficiency stuff. He reply was that, although she is happy for me do do the work and set things up, she has no real interest herself. In other words - you're on your own!

She has softened her stance a bit since but the question I have is - how many get active spousal assistance, passive aquiescence, or anit-SSish sentiment from their spouse?

....................and what do you do about it?

Nev

[shiney]

Hi Nev,

I get back up from Mr Shiney. He always supports me in whatever I am trying to achieve in being eco aware, self suffish etc. We do the best we can. We aren't perfect but we are a good 'team'!

C'mon Mrs Wombat you know you want to really.

[PurpleDragon]

I think I'm being a bit unfair with my vote. Himself will spend a Saturday afternoon loadinghorse manure into the trailer; picking up hay; digging holes etc etc.

He's not fond of digging actually

He doesn't enjoy doing anything in the garden, but he knows I have a bad back so he will dig if he has to. He will clean the coop / hutches if it is raining to save me going out in the rain. Turns off lights, wastes water something terrible, frowns at my recycling piles (he thinks it all goes into landfill anyway and we are just being humoured).

He does want to do things like get off the grid, and is very interested in alternative power, but he is also a heck of a consumer. We have tellys in almost every room, three working computers in the house and a pile he is working on, loads of 'boys toys' etc etc. He is trying though, and I suffer from this as well, so i can't accuse.

He thinks I'm slightly barmy but suffers me.

He definately has reservations about the spring lambs and will often research the bad side of things to balance my enthusiasm about a project I'm interested in (worm farming was the latest).

I think he is a good balance to me, actually. I can sometimes go in feet first without thinking / planning thru properly and he pulls the reins in.

[monkeynuts]

**He thinks I'm slightly barmy but suffers me. **

Well PD this describes my OH attitude towards me pefectly!! He did, in his defense, built my first chicken hut but shudders if I mention any form of help with the chooks. He is happy to mow the lawn and weed the main garden but somehow the veg patch is out of bounds for him!!

[Stonehead]

I can't do the poll as it doesn't cover us.

I'm the full-on, flat-out, mental as anything, foot to the floor, self-sufficient, survivalist, be prepared, tackle anything, brainstorming, eco-crofter from hell.

The OH is the hobbyist, soft green Isher with a career and a social life who pays the real world bills (especially the mortgage) and indulges my madder moments (admittedly quite frequent). She also mucks out pigs!

We jointly provided the capital to buy this place and the things we needed to get it up running. After that, I provide the ideas, the vast majority of the labour and a little cash; she provides labour if needed and when it suits or interests her and a lot of cash. She also moderates the ideas.

It seems to work most of the time...

[PurpleDragon]

He is happy to mow the lawn and weed the main garden but somehow the veg patch is out of bounds for him!!

We have a bloke who mows our grass (I couldnt in conscience call it a lawn!) and weeding - not a hope in hell. Mind you, I don't get much chance for weeding nowadays. Actually, I am going to get rid of my flower beds altogether and put grass down coz the place is just a weed zone, but that's another story.

I don't think he's ever been in my polytunnel ....

Stoney, I think that if both of you were like you, it would be a little scary - someone needs to moderate

[Andy Hamilton]

Well I live in sin so does not apply to me, but my girlfriend is not really any of those either. She helps out on the allotment, cooks a lot, mends and makes things and leaves a lot of the other stuff to me. When it comes to being green she does as much as she feels at the time, carries around a basket for her shopping but flys back to scotland. Her choice and as she is pretty stubborn at times nothing I can say will change her mind. She also takes control of the bills, not paying them just telling me how much I owe

As she is vegi I am not allowed to keep and kill animals, we don't have the room for them at the moment so not an issue. I am not sure what will happen if things change.

[Stonehead]

As she is vegi I am not allowed to keep and kill animals, we don't have the room for them at the moment so not an issue. I am not sure what will happen if things change.

The OH is vegetarian as well. She respects my position, I respect hers, and I do all the cooking so we're all happy!

[Merry]

I can`t really do the poll either as my OH falls between totally committed and leaving it to me. He has accepted stuff like not flying etc and is totally committed to all gardening stuff and waste limitation but he also acts as a check on my inappropriate enthusiasms.

For example, I was mega-keen to have fowls. They were going to be Rhode Island Reds called Annie, Blanche and Clara and I started to look for arks and got books from the library and organised the kids next door to look after them when we were away. I was so excited!
Eventually OH murmured, "But we don`t eat eggs love."
I said, "Well, we could start!"
He just sighed.
I chuntered - "Oh all right - BE sensible - I can never have any fun - it`s not fair - mutter - mutter - mutter."

He`s lovely really though

[2steps]

I do pretty much everything around the house and with the animals and kids while my OH works and does whatever really. If I ask he will help me with a job or do it if I can't but as that often involves a bit of nagging I often don't bother! been waiting god knows how long for him to finish pappering the hallway he says he likes that we do all this stuff but isn't really interested in doing it himself and that he likes animals but wouldn't have any as he doesn't want to look after them. all that said he just lets me get on with whatever I want to do.
sometimes I feel really fed up about it cos it feels like I'm doing everything but its just the way it is. I enjoy qhat I do and there isn't much now I can't a least make a good try at

[the.fee.fairy]

I don't live with the OH, so it doesn't really apply to us. The closest he comes to being SSIsh is having a shed!

he won't let me see his garden either, in case i start designing it.

He thinks some of the stuff i do is wierd, and odd, but he doesn't have anything against it (or, unfortunately, any inclination to join me).

[Wombat]

I live in sin .

you shouldn't look so happy about it

But seriously folks.......

Thank you for all of your replies, it helps to know that there are others out there in the same situation - and that's OK. I suppose we are all different and provided you don't face complete opposition, the rest is doable.

So thanks again all!

Nev

[Stonehead]

Stoney, I think that if both of you were like you, it would be a little scary - someone needs to moderate

That's the fourth or fifth time this week I've been described as scary, intimidating, full-on, terrifying etc. Maybe I should back off a bit in public and give things a rest.

Anyway, off to grab some zeds now.

[Merry]

(Quote from Stoney - can`t seem to do the quote thing
Maybe I should back off a bit in public and give things a rest.)

No, please don`t do that!

[Shirley]

Seconded!!!