Ask a silly question ...

[The Chili Monster]

PLEASE DO NOT READ IF EASILY OFFENDED.

I have a dog & I was buying a large bag of dog food in the Co-op and was standing in the queue at the till.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Winalot Diet again,
although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last
time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care
ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and the way that it
works is to load your trouser pockets with Winalot nuggets and simply
eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is
nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the queue was by now
enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition
because I had been poisoned.

I told her no, it was because I'd been sitting in the road licking my
b******s and a car hit me.

I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so
hard as he staggered out the door.

Stupid cow..........why else would I buy dog food??

[the.fee.fairy]

I like that!

[Thomzo]

Ha Ha
On a similar theme, it's my birthday on Sunday. When I got to work this morning my colleagues had put a big notice in reception and Happy Birthday balloons and banners all over my desk.

It's amazing how many people asked me if it was my birthday

Zoe

[Clara]

[Andy Hamilton]

Brilliant story, I applaud you for having the nerve!

On a similar not whilst out with Dave we always get asked "are you related" or "are you brothers" - I sometimes say that I am Dave's uncle or cousin or that he was my stalker and wanted to look like me so he had loads of plastic surgery.

The stupidist comment I ever heard was, "it must be looking in the mirror............. twice".

(same note for the last one, easily offended look away)

If it is at the pub and I am feeling particularly cheeky if someone says, "do you feel each others emotions" I say only when Dave is with a woman and it can get quite embarrassing" (well that is the toned down version)

[baldowrie]

just received the same little story, but change of supermarket, from a friend. Still funny though

[Thomzo]

On a similar not whilst out with Dave we always get asked "are you related"

My cousin and I both have very curly long dark hair. At her wedding reception a few years ago someone asked her mother if we were related. Her mother quipped "no they just go to the same hairdresser".

Zoe

[multiveg]

Somewhere, probably another forum of some description, some person was a bit cheeky in the supermarket - kept putting packets of condoms into other people's shopping trolleys. I guess when they got to the checkout, maybe they were too scared to say that "this" isn't theirs?

I don't have a dog, but occasionally buy a doggie treat for a friend's alsation.

[Barefootandhappy]