Male /female chauvanism

[Smooth Hound]

Just interested in getting other members opoinions on this. Say for example a man and wife were both interested in a type of vehicle, and they were both equally into it, and say for example they joined a local forum, and a meeting where people could share views knowledge , even work on a vehicle together, they all get to know each other etc, etc, and a good time would be had by all. But then it turns out that its for men only, on the grounds that the men like to have a laugh , swear alot etc, and feel that they wouldnt be able to have that same laugh and enjoyment if women were there. If that man were to go without his wife, what would members think, chauvanism or not.

Then scenario 2, a man and wife are both equally interested in crafts and are and enjoy it a great deal, and join a forum which has crafts , say card making, weaving, basket making, or even knitting, that sort of thing, and the forum members arranged a get together exactly as the example above, and it turned out it was for women only, on the grounds they like to have a laugh and a giggle, and feel they couldnt do that if men were present. Would the wife be right or wrong to go on her own, would it be female chauvanism if she did.

And also how would you feel if it were you that were not allowed to go, and how would you feel if it were you that went and left your other half.


Men members be very careful here

Its something i have thought about before and would love to hear others opinions on this.

[Hawthorn]

Honestly? I don't know. I'm a member of a women only forum mind, so I'm not best qualified to judge (I doubt men would want to be members on there anyway......but I suppose thinking on, yes it is kind of chauvinistic)
The forum I am on is for housewives. We discuss world issues, crafts, kids, housework, cooking.......anything to do with being a housewife really. But there are no househusbands there.

If I'm totally honest, I'm kinda old fashioned in the sense that I prefered the 'old' clearly defined roles of man = breadwinner, and woman = housewife/carer for the kids.
Oh, I am so gonna get flamed
That is my personal choice though. I don't expect others to follow it and I don't have a problem if they do different.

I kind of like men to do their thing, and women to do their thing....there are plenty of places for men and women to mingle - here for example, but I agree there are differences in the way men and women are, and perhaps there is a NEED for these different types of gathering place.
Women and men to me are very different creatures :)

[Milims]

Men members be very careful here

.

Oi cheeky!

Having been on the receiving end of male chauvanism many times as a female electrician on a building site, my answer is this - we are all people we all have different tastes, capabilities, aptitudes, skills etc. The things we do and the tools we use to do them have no gender so why do we "give" them a gender simply by virtue of the fact that it is more usual for a particular gender to take part in them? I have recently been horrified that in a particular large store items are named as mens gifts or womens gives - thereby assuming that it is only someone of the specified gender that would appreciate them (I was buying a set of flip over pliers - ooooohhhh - love em!)
On many occasions I would encounter a man in the middle of a good old swear who would instantly blush and apologise - my answer was "don't assume I was listening! I'm more offended by your assumption than by your language!" - the assumption being that I was stupid enough to put myself on a building site and then be daft enough to be offended by the acceptable behaviour of that "society" simply because I had lumps up my jumper! I've found that by accepting the "rules" of the society that you are in you become acceptable to that society - if you are not prepared to accept their rules - don't bother joining!

[old tree man]

Jane and i do almost everything together as you would as a married couple, we both love to garden we visit garden shows together we have friends we visit together, but jane has her friends that when they get together talk about womens stuff.... great.. thats why she goes there and it does not interest me in the slightest so why should i feel left out ,
so on the other hand when i visit my mates to talk bikes and get our hands greasy and yes drink and swear in the comfort that we are not offending anyone why should jane feel left out if this does not interest her,
but what you have to do is strike a happy medium so you both do things fairly then when you spend quality time together its more enjoyable.
so i agree men can do thier thing and women can do thier thing as long as it is done fairly and agreably
true sucsess to a happy marriage

[circlecross]

if it is advertised as male only then it's a bit tough (although it's not like it is a makle sweat lodge or anything), but if it just a mechanic forum then go along, stun 'em with a rude joke and persevere if you have the energy.

I find men get very shocked by my language very quickly.

Again with the craft thing, it is a bit old fashioned to tell people they can't come along based on gender rather than ability or interest, but if it advertsied as female only, then you have been warned I guess.

I tend to gravitate towards men as friends, so have never been one for segregation, but then I am me, not the rest of society.

That didn't answer your question did it? Sorry.

[eccentric_emma]

there have been events in my life where it has been insinuated that i would not be welcome because i was a female.....however i just ended up going anyway because it was something i wanted to do, and it was fine, no problems at all. i generally tend to ignore gender stuff like that if i dont feel it is relevent.

[Smooth Hound]

Jane and i do almost everything together as you would as a married couple, we both love to garden we visit garden shows together we have friends we visit together, but jane has her friends that when they get together talk about womens stuff.... great.. thats why she goes there and it does not interest me in the slightest so why should i feel left out ,
so on the other hand when i visit my mates to talk bikes and get our hands greasy and yes drink and swear in the comfort that we are not offending anyone why should jane feel left out if this does not interest her,
but what you have to do is strike a happy medium so you both do things fairly then when you spend quality time together its more enjoyable.
so i agree men can do thier thing and women can do thier thing as long as it is done fairly and agreably
true sucsess to a happy marriage

I agree with this, but what im asking is is, what if your wife was as in to bikes as you were , you both knew that as well, or if you were into the same thing as her say , for example weaving. or card making.

[MKG]

Would you really want to belong to any society which wanted to exclude your OH on the basis of gender? Don't even discuss it - go join a more reasonable society.

[Annpan]

I get stranger looks/ comments from women when I am doing 'man' jobs... than from men - though we did have builders in who thought they were speaking in code in front of me (lots of talk of DPCs, 2 by 2 and the like) I would just butt in and tell them that I knew what they were talking about and they really ought to involve the client in the conversation... we had a few arguments.

We renovated our last place (did it all ourselves), and we are doing loads of work here (talking about plastering, woodwork, plumbing) We do equal amounts or I do more (cause I am around more)

We are both equally into all our interests, with few exceptions. But we don't belong to any clubs, I guess we are loners and like doing our own thing... I really don't like being judged, living in a small village, we suffer that all the time... Now we are weirdo hippies because we don't fit any other box.

Milims - I still hate the language that is used by some men on building sites, I don't see any reason to be rude or offensive all the time, whoever you are working along side - not a man, woman thing, just a courtesy in a civilised society thing.

[snapdragon]

I think either scenario is disgustingly discriminatory -- and I should be ashamed to have anything to do with the owners/moderators


to put it another way

I'm a member of both motorcycle (you may think 'men only') and spinning (traditionally women only) forums

All of them welcome all and never discriminate, as those hobbies/pursuits have both male and female members, whether on the forum or at a 'forreal' meet-up all are equal - only experience/knowledge/skill seperates the throng into those to are questioned/giving demonstrations. and those who are asking the questions and watching

[Milims]

Milims - I still hate the language that is used by some men on building sites, I don't see any reason to be rude or offensive all the time, whoever you are working along side - not a man, woman thing, just a courtesy in a civilised society thing.

To be honest it really doesn't bother me at all - I've done it myself and for me it's a good release of frustration or expression of pain (yup - I've hammered my thumb a few times! lol). I guess in that situation no one is really bothered. However, if someone swore directly at me that's a very different matter and I have been known to tell someone off for it, not only is it offensive but, more importantly, it shows the person who's doing it in a bad light and they are already on a loosing streak. Funny how the same thing can differ so much depending on the situation!

[Annpan]

Milims - I still hate the language that is used by some men on building sites, I don't see any reason to be rude or offensive all the time, whoever you are working along side - not a man, woman thing, just a courtesy in a civilised society thing.

To be honest it really doesn't bother me at all - I've done it myself and for me it's a good release of frustration or expression of pain (yup - I've hammered my thumb a few times! lol). I guess in that situation no one is really bothered. However, if someone swore directly at me that's a very different matter and I have been known to tell someone off for it, not only is it offensive but, more importantly, it shows the person who's doing it in a bad light and they are already on a loosing streak. Funny how the same thing can differ so much depending on the situation!

Oh yes, swearing when you are angry or in pain... absolutely. I thought that you were talking about people just swearing all the time, just as part of conversation, etc.

A teacher once told me - You swear, when you lack the intelligence to find another word to fit the bill.
Yup, hitting your thumb with a hammer... I can't think of a better word to fit the bill

[magenta flame]

on the grounds that the men like to have a laugh , swear alot etc,

I agree there are differences in the way men and women are

so on the other hand when i visit my mates to talk bikes and get our hands greasy and yes drink and swear in the comfort that we are not offending anyone

Don't any of the females here go off with there girlfriends and drink and swear and get their hands greasy or dirty or run around naked?
Ya boring lot

I couldn't think of anything more painful than sitting around drinking tea and knitting..................I'll save that for the nursing home thanks. but right now I have real work to do.

[old tree man]

Don't any of the females here go off with there girlfriends and drink and swear and get their hands greasy or dirty or run around naked?
Ya boring lot

Oh pray tell where

Russ

[mrsflibble]

James and I both work on the cars we've had (I'm learning!) but I felt so intimidated on the Rover forum we used to use that I signed up as James...
I wrote as James, I answered questions as James but he never once went on there lol!!!

I was also a member of a parenting forum a while ago which was meant for all, but must have been very intimidating for blokes. I only remember one being on there and he used to get largely ignored or treated as a potential "troll".

I find it surprising on the craft forum I go on that men crop up, but I then kick myself for finding it surprising, I mean ffs my grandad used to knit my school cardis, and one year he made me a canvas sunhat with an embroidered palm tree on it lol!!!


and Russ... I run round naked, get my hands greasy and dirty and I swear.