be careful what you wish for....

[yvette]

I have previously expressed the wish that my partner would become more interested in thrift and selfsufficientish ways. Seems like we have now had ishness thrust upon us, as he has just lost his job.
He didn't like his job and had been looking for another one for some time, but it was still a huge shock, and all seems to have happened very quickly. I have to say that he has very quickly realised the changes that we need to make in the way we live and has risen to the challenge brilliantly, and I have been extremely grateful for everything I have learned from all of you.
We have many lovely, supportive messages from friends, and some have said that we may look back on this as a blessing in disguise, or an important turning point, or an opportunity to make permanent positive changes to our lives - but its hard to see it that way at the moment. Its happened to us before a few years ago, and it took us a long time to get back on our feet then.
I wondered if any of you have had similar experiences - could this really be a blessing in disguise?

[Milims]

It seems that this is a common theme at the moment - see Mrs H's thread "How do I survive?" it's kind of a sad state of affairs, but in a way it's also a blessed release from the unpleasant shackels that bind - as you say - he didn't actually like his job. Try not to be sad about the situation, but rather see it as a wonderful opportunity to put all your ishy wishes and skills into action! You know that we are all here to offer support and help wherever and whenever we can. Keep your chin up hun

[Jessiebean]

My husband was made redundant after working for nearly 20 years for the same Govt. dept. but it was the best thing that has happened to us (bar meeting each other!) he was fortunate to received a redundancy package and thanks to the superannuation scheme receives a small pension. the package allowed us to set up our business and the tiny pension is enough for thrifty folk like us to live on (if we have to!) but the best part was taking control of our own lives and living the way we want to- if I had my way we would be poor as church mice and completely free from all appointments and encumberances!
I might sound a bit Pollyanna about the whole thing but this happened nearly two years ago and we were just discusiing yesterday that the freedom we have now isn't worth more than a big salary and neither of us could ever work a boring job we hated again no matter how well paid it was... we would just find another way.
We havehad many many "blessings in disguise" lately and I am pretty good at spotting them, I think you have just been on the receiving end and with hard work and diligence you will come out of this much better than you can imagine now!

[Big Al]

I have previously expressed the wish that my partner would become more interested in thrift and selfsufficientish ways. Seems like we have now had ishness thrust upon us, as he has just lost his job.
He didn't like his job and had been looking for another one for some time, but it was still a huge shock, and all seems to have happened very quickly. I have to say that he has very quickly realised the changes that we need to make in the way we live and has risen to the challenge brilliantly, and I have been extremely grateful for everything I have learned from all of you.
We have many lovely, supportive messages from friends, and some have said that we may look back on this as a blessing in disguise, or an important turning point, or an opportunity to make permanent positive changes to our lives - but its hard to see it that way at the moment. Its happened to us before a few years ago, and it took us a long time to get back on our feet then.
I wondered if any of you have had similar experiences - could this really be a blessing in disguise?

Without reading the rest of the thread, (I need to do Mrs BA's Breakfast in bed) only you can decide if its a blessing or a devistation. If you NEED a new BMW 780 then this is a devestating catastrophy but if you need enough to get by on and a bit left over for emergencies then this could be a blessing. Read this and many other forums, web pages etc about downsizing and you will survive.

Good luck.

[red]

sorry you are having hard times thrust upon you - but 2 great things to remember - first off he hated the job - would be much worse to lose a job you loved.. and secondly - he grasps the reality of the situation and is rising to the challenge - thats a biggie - a previous partner of mine never did get the hang of the fact he had lost his job meant he could not have money in his pocket.. or had to give up some luxuries etc....

[spider8]

A new beginning, a new life and perhaps in a years time when you do look back you'll see just how rotten a time you had of it when he was in a job he hated. Keep us all posted and good luck .

[Mrs H]

Being in the same situation I can honestly say its a blessing in disguise. It won't feel like it at the minute but nearly 4mths in and we r looking forward to a homemade Christmas. We hav completely changed r outlook on life and r now starting to plan r own business working from home and doing stuff thaty we enjoy.
The kids r really benefiting from having Dad at home fulltime and having him here has alowed me time to do some little things that I enjoy.
It was such a shock when it first happened and I couldn't see how we could make this work, I had a lot of down days but now I can see that working 9-5 mon-fri isn't the be all and end all.
If he hated his job then u have probably talkked many times about what u would do if u won the lottery and never had to go to work again well u have won the lottery, not a financial one but a personal, emotional and soul building one. U just have to get over the initial shock and embrace it.
I've told my husband when we get the veg patch up and running and r business of the ground I really want to write a book called Redundancy can work!! We're not there yet but I finally feel like we r on r way.
Keep ur chin up, embrace ur new life. Sending u loads of love n hugs. Xxx

[flowertotmum]

I was devastated when my hubby was made redundant..we had 4 grown up children and suddenly had another baby sprung on us..then another ..well he was made redundant earlier this yr and he is loving it..being at home with 2 little girls and me is wonderful according to him ..he says he missed out on sooo much with the older girls and son...yes he is looking for a job but no-one taking on at the mo ...so we have made the best of it..got 2 allotments some chickens and enjoy everyday..yes some folk look down on us because we are on a benefit but hey we never thought it would happen to us ...every cloud has a silver lining...and this is ours..we have got closer and found out after 25yrs together we still love each other ..by the way he is more thrifty than me at times except in the kitchen and thats my area...we are having a homemade christmas and its going great so far..our lives have changed so much and for the better we think..we feel better,eat better and look better..he has been a real trooper and i'm proud of him...our family think we are mental for doing things the old way but by crikey we have fun and a laugh everyday..why buy it when you can make it is our motto..our older children are great and love coming round for meals ...we are so much more relaxed about things than we ever were...so enjoy it..you never know you might like it...
love ftm

[yvette]

Thanks everyone, I am very grateful for all your wise words and for the benefit of your experience. I also read Mrs H's thread 'How do I survive' as suggested and found a lot of useful stuff there, and drew much comfort and inspiration from the positive and cheerful determination demonstrated by people who posted.
I've been thinking these last few days how relatively lucky we are . We have never had a lavish lifestyle, and never wanted the biggest telly, latest car etc. We have no credit card debt, though we do have a mortgage and car loan to pay. I have been reading and posting on this site for a while now and have learned a huge amount from you all. Last year I stepped up my vegetable production and have plans to expand to the extent that our small town garden will allow (I have my name down for an allotment but they are in short supply in this crowded borough. I still have my part-time job, and both me and my husband have saleable skills. If we can't manage to survive this experience, with all the advantages we have, then it would be a very poor reflection on us.
I've been toying with a business idea for a while but never quite had the courage to commit to it - yesterday I registered the business with the Inland Revenue. I wish I was as good a knitter as Mrs H (my skills are very basic) but I am a good feltmaker and can sew, so I am going to try and make some money out of that.
Wish me luck!!
Yvette

[oldfella]

Wish you all the best, and let us know how things work out, been down this road a few times in the past, but leant something new every time, the main thing being, if you don't try you won't know.

[Green Aura]

to you Yvette and to everyone else who is being affected by these hard times. As I've said before, we Ishers are in a far better place to survive this than most other people, not least because of our willingness and ability to learn different ways and adapt.

I know that we'll all survive it.........now if I can just get over the idea that it's all totally unnecessary and the Tories are enjoying it much too much........

[Milims]

u have probably talkked many times about what u would do if u won the lottery and never had to go to work again well u have won the lottery, not a financial one but a personal, emotional and soul building one.

What a wonderful way of putting it!

[boboff]

This is a little tip I recently read about for people who are starting "self employment" from home.

No matter what you earn make sure to tell the tax credit people that you are working over 16 hours, best over 30 hours. This qualifies you for working tax credits even if you are only earning £20 a week. The site I read it on was something to do with Artists who are just starting out, and the costs of materials sometimes far outway the income derived from selling items. You will have to do the usual Income Tax Return though.

So even if you earn very little over estimate the time, not under. Sometimes this works for people without kids, as well.

[yvette]

Thanks, I did not know about that, so I am very grateful to you for passing this on. Wonder whether that would work for me as I am already working part-time...? I must look into it.

Pleased to have some good news to report - a lovely shop in my area (Penny Fielding Beautiful Interiors in E17) has agreed to stock some of my goods on a sale or return basis. The shop sells a mixture of vintage/retro stuff and arts and crafts by local designer makers, and the shop owner is very supportive of local crafts people. Although I won't make as much money as I would selling directly to people, this will be a wonderful shop window for me and will get me lots of exposure. The only downside - I have got washday hands from all the feltmaking and a callous on one finger from sewing brooch backs on to loads of brooches!! The shop want more things too, so I am making those today. Feltmaking is quite physical so it keeps me warm too!

I am still pretty anxious about our situation, but a little bit of hope, and even some excitement, is mixed in too. A lot of the hope comes from you all - thank you.