Mini-rant-WHY am I doing this?

[yugogypsy]

Feedback please group

I am not all that well, haven't been for 8 years. I do a lot of the planning and networking to collect materials,weeding etc.

A lot of the "heavy" work falls on Rick, and he's really starting to complain.

I have tried explaining that this is our winters food and if we can get a roadside stand going, money to put away for our daughter and our old age.

But he can't see it. (explanation-Rick lives in TODAY and doesn't look or plan ahead)

I was raised to plan ahead.

We've done good for 5 years, but this last one has been a real bear, even though we had helpers, paid and volunteer.

Any suggestions?

Thanks
Lois

[Chickenlady]

It is really hard to comment without knowing more about your circumstances. I do think, though, that if you are attempting a self sufficient existence, as it sounds like you are, then this is such hard work you both have to be really committed. You have to love your lifestyle so much that all the back breaking labour is worthwhile.

My OH loves nothing more than pottering on the veggie patch, but if he thought that most of our food had to come from it, I think he would hate it. Maybe Rick doesn't look that far ahead with the produce because his heart isn't really in it? But perhaps he doesn't want to rain on your parade?

I think a sit down and a long chat about what you both really want is in order.

Jane

[yugogypsy]

I was thinking the same.

I do what I can when I am able, but I've had Systemic Thrush (Candidiasis) for 8 years off and on, its really zapped my strength and appetite , I do take herbal medication for it as I'm allergic to sulfa which is the only thing that a Dr can give me.

I've tried to explain to Rick ways my Dad made it easier (more sprinklers, splitters on the hoses etc, but for 5 years he's insisted on dragging the hose from place to place, even though I bought the splitters and a 4 way splitter to put right on the tap.

So theres some lack of cooperation where making things easier is concerned, he INSISTS on doing it the hard way.

We get as many helpers from Help Exchange ( www.helpx.net ) as we can and we have one young fellow we can hire as the budget allows(we're on disability) and the garden is our main summer and winter food source.

But my real problem is getting Rick to see beyond tomorrow and onto the future!

Thanks
Lois

[Wombat]

Hey Lois,

You also may be running a foul of the male-female dynamic. Some men do not take advice well from women, especially those they are close to. Can you feed someone he admires (preferably male) with your ideas and get them to mention it?

Nev

[yugogypsy]

Yes Nev, I can do that, we have a neighbour who Rick gets along well with, so I shall try, our neighbour is a good responsible guy, has his own business,is feeding a wife and two kids with some help from his wife's garden, their chooks, and going sports fishing and crabbing and paying the usual bills, so I can get him to talk to Rick if he will

Thanks
Lois

[Wombat]

Hope it works for you, Lois!

Nev