how do you cope with bad news?

[mrsflibble]

hypothetically if you were to get some bad news, or potentially bad news, how would you cope? what do you do?
I personally have a good cry then write potential outcomes of every decision. it helps me to see that whatever happens something might go right out of it after all.
once this is done, I drink copious amounts of tea and eat chocolate biscuits like fox's crinkles, hobnobs or gold bars.

you?!

[red]

usually with blubbering followed by comfort food then I resort to fate...

generally I believe in fate.. and say.. well, there must have been a good reason.. say I lost my job, then I would tell myself that maybe I would have been in a car crash the next week if I had stayed... its probably rubbish but it makes for a happier time to believe things are for a reason.
and life's too short... etc.

then when really bad news comes, such as a death, you can't think of a good reason...

[ocailleagh]

Mostly, I don't cope! Not at first anyway. I tend to get all crushed and mopey, and if that then gives way to mucho stress I go make some Tranquility Tea! If I end up just depressed rather than stressed, I inhale a cheesecake or three...

[Annpan]

I switch off an go into 'Practical mode'
eg. when JohnMs grandfather died in February first thing I did was text my friend and ask her to keep the next week free as I had to go to a funeral, and needed a babysitter, next thing was check that we had suitable clothes to wear.

I don't usually have a good blub until afterwards, and I don't tend to eat while doing it... just get it out of my system and get on with my life.

[Esther.R]

I'm the same as annpann - I tend not to get the emotional side until later, I immediately become very focussed and practical.

[ocailleagh]

Usually, if its other people's bad news, I go into practical mode, but not so much when its my own stuff. Though the Christmas before last, I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me and went into a weird Bree-from-DesWives trancelike state and didn't come out of it until my flat was all gorgeous and festive looking!

[Russian Doll]

i do the head in the sand bit ...

[eccentric_emma]

i do the 'everything happens for a reason' bit and try to see all the positives of the bad thing. bourbon biscuits help a lot too. but i tend to try and avoid drinking alcohol around times when i have had bad news as in my experience it certainly doesn't help matters!

[Milims]

Practical robot then philosophical (in amongst a good 'ol blub!) I guess it really depends on the news. When my folks were burgled and I found it I switched into practical robot and sorted it out. It was only later when we were trying to trace items that were stolen like my great Grandas Kings Police Medal, worthelss to others priceless to us, that I was really upset. But then we looked thru his Police employment records and found some wonderful "gems" like the letter of approval that was written for his future wife and the record of his one and only disciplinary event - he said "bu**er" and was disciplined for it! I guess it's a case of "every cloud has a silver lining". For me there is always a reason for something to happen - and no matter how well it's hidden there is always a positive in it. I guess that's what keeps us going in the bad times.

[red]

oh I am very practical with *other people's* bad news!... just my own involves blubbing and chocolate...

[MrsD'ville]

I usually cry immediately but not for long - that was my reaction to my grandmother dying six years ago, being told I'd lost my job four years ago, being told our landlord wanted to sell the house last year so we had to move, and to my two miscarriages last year. Then I stare the news in the face which I think is quite disconcerting for those around me - I go from crumpled heap to iron woman in the space of 10 minutes. Then I get very practical and refuse to let whatever it is ruin my day/life and get on with whatever has to be done. Of course this means I don't really let myself deal with stuff which ain't good and leads to scenes like my total hysteria at Christmas when I discovered the family had decorated the tree without me while I'd been at work - I think it's safe to say last year's events caught up with me at that point. If this scan tomorrow is good news in a funny way i'm afraad it's all going to catch up with me again as I'll be so happy my defences will be down. Sorry, this thread touched a nerve!

[Bluemoon]

oh I am very practical with *other people's* bad news!... just my own involves blubbing and chocolate...

Ditto!

[the.fee.fairy]

hmmm...it depends on the style of the news.

If its bad news like emotional bad news, then i'll start dealing with it as soon as i can, get the crying over and get on with it (i hate lingering...).

If its bad news like i've lost my job style bad news, then i'll get angry, have a frustrated cry and then get on with it.

Usually, i have an outburst, and then get over it and get on with it. I can't stand people who linger and constantly refer to the bad news for the next 3 years... I try to see the positives to the situation.

[circlecross]

yes it depends on the style of the news, and my reality counter tends to block it out unless it is REALLY REALLY bad news. When my dad was first diagnosed with cancer, it was serious, but dealable with so we carried on. When he went downhill very quickly, something in me just knew, and my bod went into teary panic I have to be there mode, and I think because no-one sees that side of me, my boss just stood in a corner saying "do what you gotta do!" We all coped (to the extent of having a laugh in the evenings) for the horrendous 10 days it took him to die, but then I was just a mess. And pregnant.
News that makes me angry, I tend to plan outcomes, go very calm and focussed. I don't get even, I get odd!
Most other news is too trivial to bother over much with...

[Annpan]

I don't get even, I get odd!

wonderfully put