What on earth is going on?

[JulieSherris]

Yesterday on our RTE2 national radio, gerry ryan began the programme with a phone call to an irish lady who had been very disturbed after reading the story of Baby P of Haringey. This lady had emailed the show at 3am, when she couldn't sleep & after emailing the show & having a good 'cleanse' she went & slept with her 2 yr old & counted her blessings........

It was an emotional half hour - gerry ryan is our 'shock jock', but that also means that he's not afriad of speaking his mind even in circumstances like this. He also sees life quite black & white at times, believing in an eye for eye.... I wouldn't put him in a room with the folks involved with the Baby P case - either the folks responsible, nor the social service folks who were supposed to be there to protect.

So this morning I get up & breaking news is the murder of the little tots stabbed to death in Manchester......so what on earth is going on?

Not a good start to the day.... I'm off to the daughters house today & I'm leaving early so I can give my granddaughter a huge huggle before school..... then I'm going to buy daughter lunch later & I will make a special effort to tell her what a great mum she is. Yes, she's a single parent, and yes, she gets frustrated at times, but she's been amazing - especially when you consider that the little one was born with a cleft lip & palate & associated problems..... you wouldn't know to look at her though - thanks to the plastic surgeon. And she started school early - thanks to her nan's intelligence genes... and also thanks to the hard work her mum has put in with her.

We have a lot to be grateful for folks.......and today I will remember that.

Julie

[snapdragon]

I'm trying very hard to pity these people and their families but am finding it very hard, the mother of babyP is 17 apparently, so was 14/15 when she became pregnant.

[Penny Lane]

I always hold my 6 month old a little closer when I hear about these poor babies. It is so terribly sad.

[shell]

couldnt bring myself to hear or read all the details but i do know that when some-one does something like this to a child they should be neutered or spa yed like animals are,they shouldnt be allowed to go on to have children of their own or continue to reproduce!

[StripyPixieSocks]

It's absolutely dreadful and reading about it in the news really upsets me too... I have no idea how these 'people' can do this to a child.

It makes me speechless but then what hope have we got when we have generations of children having children with no life experience to pass on?

I know there are teen mothers out there who are brilliant and I have every respect for them (my sister was one) but several 12 year old mothers down the line you're not going to get the brightest of sparks in my (probably unpopular) opinion.

I just wish somehow that it would all come to an end and people would go back about 20 years or so but for the sake of my own sanity I just tend to live in a little bubble of my own life because I get very depressed when I start listening to the news these days

[JulieSherris]

Well folks, we went for the NCT - her little Fiat failed - 2 new tyres needed & a back indicator bulb - woohoo!! We thought it was going to be a LOT more than that.....

Anyway, while we were in the waiting room, sky news was on & we got to talking about it.... so I took the opportunity to tell her how good she's been these last 4 & 1/2 years..... and how proud I am of her... especially when I hear the little one saying please & thank you in the shops, & so on... she went very quiet... and very pink!!

I think she appreciated the compliment.... and I realised that sometimes we just don't say these things often enough.

So today, I feel very lucky as a mum & and as a nan.... and send my thoughts out to those who aren't quite so fortunate.
Bless them all.

Julie.

[RJHA2007]

apparently it was an error in David Cameron's speech; the mother is 27.

too painful to think about and too awful to forget.

[kiwirach]

So this morning I get up & breaking news is the murder of the little tots stabbed to death in Manchester......so what on earth is going on?

i have to say my first thought when i heard of this, this morning, was severe post natal depression(purple somthingarather...can say it, cant spell it!).....by no means an excuse however. havent seen anymore news today as worked late, so dont know what the updates are.

as for the adults around baby P.....

[kiwirach]

have just seen the news now re the babies in Manchester......mother has been sectioned under the mental health act and seems the GP rung the police earlier in the day concerned for the mothers state...police couldnt establish contact with the family. very sad for those little boys.

[JulieSherris]

I understand that not all women can be 'earth mothers'... I know I certainly wasn't!!

When the daughter was pregnant with her little one, the aussie boyfriend decided to go home..... we've never heard of him since.
So she lived in our granny flat until the little one was 2 & 1/2 & had a good support system - on tap baby sitters, food cooked & someone around for advice, so yes, she was luckier than most single mums. At times though, she loses control, she doubts herself, she's tired, ratty & it's at those times that she shouts for me & tells me honestly.

4 times in the last 4 & 1/2 yrs hubby & I have waded in & split them up - hubby usually takes daughter to the pub & calms her down, while I deal with the little one - daughter has admitted that she shouts for help when she feels herself spiralling out of control & feels useless & frustrated. I know there is no real danger of her totally going over the top - but who can say?

I suspect that a lot of us 'normal' mums feel this way at times & we usually have the support of friends & family - I just feel so sad when you hear about incidents like these & then you realise that the parents involved haven't the courage to admit they need help - it's time for us to understand that we don't have to be perfect - we weren't designed to be perfect & asking for help is a totally normal & natural thing to do.

Heck, some of us (well, ok then, ME!) can't even grow a tomato without it going wrong, so how do we expect to grow a child without the odd glitch?

I know what I'm trying to say, but getting it from my head & onto the screen is difficult this morning - maybe I need more coffee.......

Julie.

[growingthings]

As a parent myself, it's just the sort of thing that makes me realise just how lucky I am. I get fustrated yes, but at least I know that I am mentally in charge of all my faculties.

As I watch my 3yo and 7mo playing together, in the light of everything thats on the news - I feel truly blessed, that they are born into a family who will and knows how to love and nurture them. And that as a family we have a betwork in place to catch one of us when we feel that we are falling.

I must confess that the news has numbed me in a way, as I don't think that I could truly allow myself to really think about the situation it would be too horrific. Its a situation that is so far beyond my realms of reality that I cannot engage with it, I would just find it too upsetting.

We are by no means perfect, but that fact that we can recognise when it is about to all go wrong, is the fundamental difference, and that we are lucky enough to have others around makes that world of difference.

I need to ring up my Mum and tell her that I love her now.

[monkeynuts]

I am a mum of 2 (one with a disability) and also a foster carer. I hear of terrible things like this and to be honest, I feel so angry and frustrated!! I have met some wonderful social workers over my many years as a carer but I have also met some really...well sh*t ones too. The thing that I blame (from the social work side of these cases) is the system!! Many of the cases I have dealt with have been beyond rediculous when we had to do as ' the sytem' dictated. Like the time the father in prison was given my name and address as I was looking after his kids!!! He absconded and I had to leave my home!!! A child who has been in the care system for over half of her life and still does not know for definite that she doesn't have to go hame and live with her abusive parents!! The list goes on and on.

I will shut up now ...this subject really gets my back up...come on you men and women in Government, get this sorted out...NOW