Vegetarian weightloss

[becks77]

Hi All,
My 11 year old daughter is over weight, and has asked for help to loose a little. In an effort to help I bought a book for vegetarian recipes with a section on weight loss in teenagers. The problems are should she be wanting to loose weight or wait and grow into it? and how can I get her to eat the food that she doesn't like the look of before she's even tried? Whilst we are vegetarian previously we have consumed a lot of meat substitutes and she is not into the vegetable side of things.
I am trying to educate her (and the rest of the family) about the ingredients and lack of nutrients in convenience foods but its just not sinking in. I would like her to be aware of the nutritional content of foods, rather than just substitute "half fat" and "no added sugar products" into her diet on the quiet, if you see what I mean.
And also trying to instill the value of exercise versus calorie intake.
We had a right old battle last night and really got me down , so any suggestions would be greatly appreciated,
Thanks
Becks

[Clara]

Perhaps it's best not to alter her diet too much in one go, it's setting her up to fail. I remember when Gillian McKeith first came on our screens and I was working in a healthfood shop, loads of larger ladies coming in clutching her book buying weird and wonderful stuff - you have to wonder how much of it is still languishing in the back of cupboards.

I was a teenage junk food veggie so I know how that goes - i was far healthier once I started eating a little meat, because meat/fish and two veg is quite simple and less fattening.

Perhaps you could try some homemade veggie or nut burgers?

The other thing to look at is her drinking habits - what does she drink? There might be lots of hidden calories there.
Perhaps teach her to drink a glass of water first when she feels hungry, its weird but it is common to mistake thirst for hunger, particularly in a young one who isn't really that in tune with their body.

As for exercise, that could be a difficult one for a pre-teen girl! Perhaps doing things with her might be the answer - weekend afternoon walks, play tennis etc. Maybe dance classes might appeal?

You say she wants (and needs) to lose weight but that your suggestions were met with stiff opposition - more details?

[becks77]

Hi Clara,
Thanks for your thoughts.
I have suggested a glass of water before food and pointed out the mistake of hunger for thirst, but it all gets met with a lot of anger, "NO I'm hungry!"
There have also been occaisions when she has said her "friends" comment on her weight even though a couple of them are possibly heavier than she is.
We have a dog and walk a lot, there is a trampoline in the garden and bikes in the garage but again she says she is too tired etc and plonks herself in front of the TV or on the computer. She does take a street dance class once a week which she really enjoys.
I could look at more energetic after schol clubs, but she's not really "sporty"
Becks

[TheGoodEarth]

Becks,

You don't say why she is overweight. Does she just eat too much food, eat the wrong stuff in normal quantities or has a sweet tooth???

A bit of a brain dump but how about:

Can you try turning the meals she enjoys into low calorie versions?
Use plenty of herbs and spices to make very tasty vegetarian dishes.
Turn vegetables into soups, stews etc
Remove all junk food, buscuits and chocolate from the house.
Eat the same stuff together as a family.
Only eat at meal times.
Give fruit as a snack.
Reduce pocket money if she is using this to buy snacks and substitue with other rewards (new top, trip to cinema etc).
Never call her fat - I have been told that this can haunt women for the rest of their lives and cause numerous problems.
When she says she is hungry try and divert her attention to something else she enjoys doing.
Go out walking every weekend as a family to get more exercise.
Encourage dance classes, trampoline, cycling, sports, swimming etc.
Make TV a treat/reward for doing some chores. Don't allow TV in bedroom?
Show her the Jamie Oliver progs about all the crap and fat that is in junk food.
Make looking at the ingredients and saturated fat contents of food into a project or fun game with some rewards.
Be a role model.

Just some thoughts but I am no expert.

Sorry to be personal but is your own diet ok? Are you overweight yourself?

[becks77]

Thank you some good ideas there

[The Riff-Raff Element]

You're taking the harder route of helping her manage a healthy weight now, and I think you're dead right to take the trouble. Too often people hope that children are going to grow into their weight and more often then not they are unhappily disappointed.

Clara and TGH have made some excellent suggestions, but certainly the points about removing all tempting empty calories from the house and controlling access to TV and computers strike me as being excellent, if hard going.

We did the same, not because the girls were showing signs of gaining weight but because I was getting concerned about their substituting junk for proper food and of the influence of TV on their behaviour.

The wars lasted about six weeks and they weren't fun, but the outcome has been worth it: controlled snaking (fruit - take it or leave it!) and a quite remarkable improvement in both behaviour and manners.

Good luck.

[Green Aura]

My daughter always seemed to grow out before an upward growing spurt. Unless she's been tubby for a long time this might be a factor.

Try not to get caught up in the whole issue - at 11 she's hopelessly torn between peer comments, mass media, and a childish palate. You'll only get it in the neck for any attempts to change or impose any new regime. Plus she doesn't need to perceive her mum getting on the "you're fat" bandwagon - even if you aren't. I'm sure she's beautiful as she is - reinforce that - although I'm sure you do that anyway.

Stealth, little and often, seems to be the way to go, if she really does need to lose a bit. Look at some of her favourite foods and see if you can make them yourself - so you can control the ingredients. Try to increase the protein and reduce the carb elements - I'm not advocating a high protein diet, but I'm convinced that the hidden carbs in many processed foods and particularly in low fat products are responsible for the general weight gain. Fat and protein give you a sense of fullness, carbs don't.

Look at portion sizes as well - it may be easier to reduce this slightly without her noticing.

It sounds like she gets exercise so carry on encouraging her to find things she likes to do and again try not to make an issue of it.

If you can convince her now that her body shape is her own, special and changing, you may avoid worse down the road.

[Annpan]

I am worried, unless told by your doctor (and then I would get a second and third opinion) i would be really concerned about trying to get an 11 year old to loose weight. It could have all kinds of serious future health implication - I am thinking mostly of anorexia, which is a horrid condition, I have known several sufferers, and it haunts you into later life too.

You really need to focus more on healthy eating than dieting and it is a change in eating habits that are going to have the right effects, not loosing weight.

Banning junk food, encouraging more movement, having less processed foods available.

11 can be a difficult age, for some it is part of childhood, for others it is the start of adolescence - either way things are, or are about to start changing, and many girls are concerned about their appearance un-necessarily.

[rockchick]

I've only got little ones so not much experience of trying to do the whole food negotiation thing with older children but I have found it helps to give them choices. For them its only small choices like do they want carrot or broccoli with their tea. Could you expand this and get a nice book of recipes to give to her and get her to choose what she fancies? Give her some postits to tag anything she might like the look of and even get her to cook it herself or at least help with the prep. Mine are definitely more willing to put something in their mouth if they've had, quite literally, 'a hand in' making it!

[Moonwaves]

This blog might give you some good ideas - not only directly but there are also lots of links to other websites. It's a woman who wanted to encourage her veggie phobic son to eat veg and so they embarked on an eat the vegetable alphabet project. She has since also written a book about the whole thing.

Get rid of the telly or restrict use. Get her involved in the shopping and cooking. Try to let her eat things she likes (that are healthy at least) even if it means she ends up eating a lot of the same things over and over. Get rid of all convenience foods/junk from the house (not just for her but for everyone). Try to not make exercise exercise if you know what I mean, e.g. don't say go for a walk it'll do you good but rather shall we go and pick shells on the beach.

For years I struggled with the idea that vegetables were something I had to eat because they were good for me and for no other reason (I was never forced to eat veg as a child but my stepmother, who arrived when I was 12 and just after my mum had died did force me and for years after I was able to leave home I didn't touch another vegetable - it was a revelation to me in my early twenties that I actually liked some vegetables) and also with the idea that exercise doesn't necessarily have to be a chore. To be honest I still struggle with that one a bit but I do love walking and that is most of my exercise nowadays. As a kid I ran around as much as anyone and spent most summers practically living in the pool but as a pre-teen and teenager (I was fully grown at 12 but just thought I was fat and when I look back at photos I can only wish I now had the stunning figure I did then) I was horribly self-conscious and hated having to move in front of anyone. The only exercise I got then was cycling to and from school and walking to and from bus stops but that was more than enough really. The only exercise I have ever done that didn't feel at first like a chore is swimming and I'm sure that's in large part because swimming to me is just something you do for fun. Same way that strawberries aren't really fruit, they're a treat!

But most of all I think you need to teach her good habits rather than how to go on a diet.

[george]

I can't really help with the diet suggestions but a friend of mine had a good system for encouraging exercise. They had a game console and any member of the family (including the grown ups) had to run 1km on the treadmill for every hour spent playing on the games console. I thought that was an excellent system. Could you introduce something similar - for every hour or so she spends watching tv she needs to do a certain amount of exercise?

I would also second showing her the Jamie Oliver show about what junk food does to you if you can manage it and trying to keep snack junk food out of the house (I know the second one works for me - if it is in the cupboard I will eat it!).

I also think you are right to encourage healthy eating rather than dieting.

[Jandra]

First of all: I'm no expert. I don't even have kids. But I have *been* a kid...

Some excellent tips have already been mentioned.
I'd suggest that whatever you want her to do or leave: Don't diet, don't focus on her weight; lead by example. Nothing is worse than being singled out.
Instead of asking your daughter to drink a glass of water before eating, maybe you could introduce serving the family meal with a caraffe of water. Leaving everyone free to take some if they like. Just to get used to the idea of drinking water at all. If you keep doing that for a year, she might join you.

Make sure she has a proper breakfast: an egg, porridge, whole meal sandwich. Those are foodstuffs which leaves a person satisfied and doesn't cause a blood sugar dip after a short while. If you just take some rice crackers with low-fat cheese you'll feel the urge to snack in no time. I've read that breakfast gets the digestive system working and thus the calories burning.

Also she's a growing girl. Perhaps some extra omega-3 fatty acids or vitamins would do her a world of good. Lack of omega-3 has been associated with depression and stress. Perhaps she eating and listless because she feels depressed (hormonal changes can be a pain in the proverbal *ss). Some supplements might alleviate this. Perhaps you (or the person in the household she admires most) could start taking them and then invite her to also take them. I'm not actually a fan of vitamin supplements, but if she won't eat enough veg and other healthy food it could be helpful.

Oh, what helps me eating my fruit is when my husband peels and eats an apple or an orange and offers me a piece or two. I often can't be bothered to do it myself, but if it is offered I'll take a bit.

And last but not least: spend quality time. You're already doing this, but maybe you could get better results if you do it consciously. Make sure that in almost each day there is some time that one of the parents is spending with your daughter where she gets to decide what the two of you do and she'll not get any critisism or 'suggestions' or 'encouragement'. If she doesn't want to talk but just sit in front of the tv, you could just join her and watch together for a brief time. If it's a series you can ask her when it's finished about who is who and why exactly it is absolutely logical for X to be in love with the wife of Y, while he is also having an affair witht he mother of Z Good chance you'll get an animated explanation which you can't follow , but which may nevertheless improve your bond and thus your ability to influence your daughter's actions and habits.

Well, right, don't forget: I don't have kids. I'm no diet or medical expert. I can just imagine some of this might work.

Good luck,
Jandra

[Penny Lane]

Becks,
Never call her fat - I have been told that this can haunt women for the rest of their lives and cause numerous problems.

This is so true, my mother teased me about my 'cellulite' when I was about 14/15 & even though I was as skinny as a toothpick a boyfriend said I should lose some weight.
These comments have stayed with me ever since & even at my slimmest I felt fat.

But with the people that teens look up to being skinnier than a blade of grass, they (we) will always get a feeling of being 'imperfect'!

[becks77]

Thank you everyone for your thoughts and comments,you are all brilliant as ever.
We have chatted and come up with some more clubs she might like to try, trampolining and roller hockey oh and gymnastics, and also trying to focus on portion control at meal times.
We already do a lot of what has been suggestd with regard to trash in the food cupboards and focusing on the healthy eating so I think it really is down to more exercise, and so I am trying to inspire the whole family to join her (she has 2x older sisters).
I have also told OH to stop buying sweet cereals, we shall stick to the healthy basics and take one step at a time.
Ann pann, thank you for your concerns, anorexia is a terrible disease that we must be aware of when tackling eating and diet issues, I agree totally.
Thanks everyone

[MuddyWitch]

Becks,

One little idea I used as an over weight adult was to dish my portion up on a slightly smaller plate, so it looked fuller. It really works & I was doing the dishing up! ( maybe I'm just gullable? )

I used the same technique on my youngest after she'd been sneaking junk food at lunch times whilst at school. (Why do they allow McD to build so close? )

We also only have sweets or choc on 'High Day & Saturdays' (High Days = birthdays, xmas day, etc)

As for exercise; most teen & pre-teens will walk miles window shopping for clothes! Rope in older sisters for this one!

And it might seem silly, but...I lothed sport, but was happy to dig the veg patch or turn the compost heap....here's hoping for you!

MW