Resisting the self sufficient (ish) way!!!

Millie · Post: # 63669Post **Millie** » Sun Jul 01, 2007 5:01 pm

Argh! DS2 is 11 and is really disliking the grow your own food route. DS3 has just turned 8 and is really into it, and DD is 3 and loves planting, watching growing and eating our own stuff. We had hell yesterday when I announced we needed to go in search of gem squash

Is there anything I can do with DS2, or are the hormones too far gone? Window of opportunity missed? It would be really nice to involve him and show him how it all "works" but he just digs his heels in further

Thomzo · Post: # 63672Post **Thomzo** » Sun Jul 01, 2007 5:10 pm

Well I don't have any kids but I can remember what I was like at 11. I was just starting down the rebellious phase. If he's the same then the last thing you should do is push him to do anything, he'll just rebel even more. Best just to let him get on with something else.

In fact, letting him do his own thing while the rest of you have fun might just do the trick. He'll get bored on his own and jealous of the fun and laughs the rest of you have together. If he does join in just accept him as part of the team but don't make a big issue of it and don't tease him for joining in or not.

You could also try giving him "men's" jobs to do, rather than planting can you give him hedge trimming or grass cutting? Giving him more mature and responsible jobs to do might just help to involve him.

Zoe

Silver Ether · Sun Jul 01, 2007 5:15 pm

arh kids .... I think If you try to make him involved he will just rebel all the more... so I think compromise is the way ... when you need to get stuff for ishing ask him what he would like to to after ... always make sure its after then if he`s horrid ... no treat ...

Keep at it with the younger ones and maybe he will come and look over your shoulder and just pretend he`s not interested ... bet he is all interest at meal times though

mybarnconversion · Sun Jul 01, 2007 5:19 pm

Short of carrying out your own super-size-me experiment and demonstrating the reasons why grow your own is good, your probably best off letting time and maturity sort things out ...

Millie · Post: # 63680Post **Millie** » Sun Jul 01, 2007 5:27 pm

I should also add, hes quietly impressed with his sunflowers, which are now well over 6 foot tall.

Its not something I would force on him, I dont mind if he doesnt want to, its all the moaning that goes on when we are all trying to get on with it. Yesterday I said we needed to pop to the farm shop to see if they had gem squash and he moaned he would be booooooooooored and would rather go to nans. We found them closer to home in the end, and went to nans, where he moaned he was booooooooooored

Still, plus side, I go out into the garden to get away from the moaning, and get loads done!

Thomzo · Post: # 63682Post **Thomzo** » Sun Jul 01, 2007 5:31 pm

Well that's settled then. He's just normal!

Zoe

Milims · Post: # 63687Post **Milims** » Sun Jul 01, 2007 6:29 pm

We have a wonderful kids rule - give them exactly what they want with vengeance!! Basically - if they refuses to eat the food you have grown - don't give them any - but don't give them an alternative - you aren't running a restaurant after all!! If they are hungry they will find their own food - better still they will buy it and cook it too!! lol

We had a time where my son refused to wash his face- and then lied about it. So I stopped nagging - after all why should I waste my time and energy - but I did sneak into his room while he was asleep and put a full face of make-up on him!! Nuf said!!

There was also the time when I showed him how to throw a temper tantrum properly - in the main street in town - very liberating for mum very embarrasing for child. My answer was - "well now you know how it feels are you going to to it to me again?"

Oh dear - I do sound like an evil bitch mother from hell - but to me its important for kids to know how they affect those around them. We have only 3 rules in our house :
Respect your self
Respect other people
Respect your environment!

Good luck with the hormones!!

Meredith · Post: # 63693Post **Meredith** » Sun Jul 01, 2007 7:17 pm

He sounds perfectly normal to me. I don't think it would matter what lifestyle choices you make, some children just have a need to rebel against them. I have three sons and a daughter, my youngest is nearly sixteen, and she's just about come out of the other end of finding everything sooooooo boring.

I agree with what's been said. If he's not interested don't try to force it, give him another ten years and he'll come round

You could try inviting his friends round to see if you can inspire them with a little enthusiasm, if they think it's cool, you're in with a chance.

Meredith

Millie · Post: # 63698Post **Millie** » Sun Jul 01, 2007 7:42 pm

Milims wrote:if they refuses to eat the food you have grown - don't give them any - but don't give them an alternative - you aren't running a restaurant after all!!

LOL reminds me of DS1 last year, I grew some amazing cues on the lottie, and he refused to eat them.......because they werent straight like shop ones

needless to say, he went without

Millie · Post: # 63699Post **Millie** » Sun Jul 01, 2007 7:44 pm

Meredith wrote: You could try inviting his friends round to see if you can inspire them with a little enthusiasm, if they think it's cool, you're in with a chance.

Im not allowed to invite them round, apparently the house is too embarrassing

Millymollymandy · Mon Jul 02, 2007 6:29 am

Millie wrote:
Meredith wrote: You could try inviting his friends round to see if you can inspire them with a little enthusiasm, if they think it's cool, you're in with a chance.
Im not allowed to invite them round, apparently the house is too embarrassing

Were WE ever that bad? Umm yes I think I was!

catalyst · Post: # 63819Post **catalyst** » Mon Jul 02, 2007 2:02 pm

i wouldnt worry - or force him with anything - all my kids were the same, but the seed was in their heads, and as they grew up they kinda reverted back to how i'd always wanted them to be.
peer pressure is strong with kids, and no one wants to stand out as different.

circlecross · Tue Jul 03, 2007 7:31 pm

if you want to try giving him a patch of garden, and if he's an emo, into wearing black and stripes and stuff, he could grow a black garden, (some toms, aubergines, various flowers) or a poison garden, or something gothic themed. If you have access to a greenhouse then those weird bat flowers might keep him entertained, or carniverous plants. Anything to keep his interest. Of course, he may just need cooling off time and will come round in a couple of years like everyone else has said.

Millie · Post: # 64015Post **Millie** » Tue Jul 03, 2007 7:42 pm

An emo

I think I may have got away with that so far.........hes a definate bookworm, spends his days reading and reading and reading lol. Which is great, books are ace :)

He was relieved that gem squash seeds are on their way, courtesy of Milims, so I think I might ask him to give me a hand with planting those. I think he may be more interested when these plants have real food on them too

Sassinak · Post: # 64069Post **Sassinak** » Wed Jul 04, 2007 9:15 am

Peer pressure is a very strong force and it seems little can be done to overcome it.

My son was a really good, confident rider. Showjumping at an early age and thoroughly enjoying his ponies . Until he reached the age of 12/13 when his schoolfrinds started taking the p*** because he was out riding rather than wasting time on street corners and playing football as they did. His riding gradually petered out until he stopped completely and I sold the ponies. He admitted as an adult that he regretted it, but felt a need to fit in and not be different.